T minus 3

I think you'll all agree i'm showing amazing restraint against the disgraceful barrage of abuse directed at me from the Northern Buggery Brigade. As far as I can tell I've done nothing to warrant it (really?) so I shall rise above it and let my veg do the talking on Friday morning.




With that in mind one of my set of six will be celery. If you'd told me that 12 months ago I'd have laughed at you based on my previous lack of success at growing celery, but I've given my plants a lot more care and attention this year. Regular sprayings of Decis have kept the leaf miners at bay and recently I've also given them a dose or two of Bumper and so far have no signs of the rust that has crept onto my crop around about this time of year in past seasons. They've also had more water and feed than an african elephant. I've managed to get them to 22" of blanch, 14" around and 44" tall. Although they're lovely and clean they're not huge but then I didn't see any what I considered large celery at Llangollen so I'm assuming this year's weather my have been a factor in that.

I also have a 2nd wager running which is currently only at one fifth of it's journey, namely the 20 quid challenge with NVS National Secretary David Thornton MSc, FNVS, TIT based on who picks up most tickets at 5 shows this season, namely Llangollen, Harrogate, Malvern, Westminster and Derby. I wrote about it for the NVS magazine and have received several comments about it. One chap who knows us both said he was in a fit of hysterics whilst reading it. He'll be pleased to know i've started the second instalment for next year's magazine.



Dave beat me hands down at Llangollen and has thus built up an early 110-0 points lead. However, there are moments in life that are like manna from heaven and one such was when Dave walked into the Royal Pavillion at Llangollen and suddenly realised to his absolute horror that he had left his tomatoes 120 miles away in Derby. When Ian Stocks told me this at 4am next morning I couldn't believe my luck.......he may well beat me again this season but that particular story will certainly help to counterbalance any pain. At the weekend my ancient friend Ian Taylor also left his carrots on his kitchen table meaning that he couldn't stage them at Seagrave, although I was so far ahead of him on points that it wouldn't have mattered as he finally conceded that I was a far better grower than him. What these two cases illustrate is how easy it is to make a mistake when you're stressed up preparing for a show. When I get into my loaded car the first thing I do before starting the engine is to run through the schedule and tick off all my entries, getting out and re-checking in the boot if i'm in the least doubt that I have loaded a set of veg. In this way I have always avoided looking like a complete prat once I reach the Show.



After Harrogate this weekend my thoughts will immediately turn to Malvern the weekend after and I got a surprising email today from Mr. Thornton himself. His wife has arranged something on the Friday evening before Malvern (I won't say what as it's a bit embarrassing) meaning he cannot get to Malvern to stage his exhibits. The trusting muppet has only gone and asked if I'll stage his veg for him! It will be very interesting to see how the judges react to tomatoes staged upside down with cocktail sticks poking out of them, parsnips with tyre marks, celery tied with gaffer tape and shallots with felt tip faces drawn on them.