First show of 2017

A top grower (well he always insisted he was a top grower) was once quite sniffy about competing in local shows, implying that it was beneath him now that he was winning at NVS Branch shows with his cabbages and cucumbers. Not me. I still get a big buzz out of winning a ticket at my local show and it was with some sadness that I entered my veg on Saturday morning for the last time. I know the organisers have been a little bit worried about the effect my giving up showing will have on the show as I have supported it with multiple entries since my first show here in 2001, but there were a few new exhibitors putting in some reasonable quality stuff so I sincerely hope the show will continue to thrive. These shows are the breeding grounds for anyone with aspirations to go onto bigger things but should always be supported as much as possible. And besides I said I’d still try and support them with some baking in future years. However, they told me not to threaten them with that shit. As it was I walked off with the coveted Society Cup for most points, and my name will now be etched on the side of it for a record extending 14^th time in 17 years. I’m rather stupidly proud of that.

As I said in the previous post I was particularly pleased with my winning long carrots which were quite a small set compared to many more I appear to have growing. If they carry their weight down like these I’m going to be in a position to compete at the bigger shows to come. One slight concern on a single carrot I pulled for another class was what appeared to be cavity spot which is said not to affect long carrots as much as stumps. I actually used the infected sand from my cavity spot infected stump beds to fill extra carrot drums thinking things would be fine so we shall have to see if this is going to be a major problem for me over the next few weeks.

My stump carrots were almost embarrassing to me. Yes, they won, but if I’d put this set in a National Veg show I’d have been soundly beaten with a sharpened swede, they really were utter wank. I’ll be pulling my stumps for the Welsh Branch Championships tomorrow night and if they’re anything remotely like this they’re going to feed my grandson’s rabbit.

Being a local show you can put more than one entry in a class so over the years in an effort to support the show I have often made multiple entries, whilst being wary of not wanting to do too much and put people off. It’s a fine line but sometimes it’s best to just put one in if you know you’re probably going to win it so that someone else can experience the thrill of getting a ticket. One class I did pull a few entries in was the any other veg class, and my rhubarb was a worthy winner beating my marrows into 2^nd and my turnips into 3^rd. Other exhibitors’ entries in the class included kale, radish, chard, squash and a very large pair of caulis that were unfortunately badly discoloured and well past their best.

I had 1^st and 2^nd in the tomato class but was surprised my 2^nd place entry didn’t actually win. What do you think?

The small fruited tomato class at any show is always well contested and I was pleased to win with a set of Strillo, although I had to cut over 50 to find a set of 10 that weren’t split. Fair to say I shan’t be growing Strillo ever again.

I won the globe beet class with a nice set of 3 that I thought I’d made a fatal mistake with when I was prepping them. I cut the foliage as if I was prepping them for a National show when I suddenly clapped my hands over my face as I realised our show asks for them to be shown ‘with foliage’. Calming down I noticed that I had cut them long at first and therefore there was some new middle foliage still visible so technically I couldn’t be NAS’d and so it proved as far as the judge was concerned.

And the little fuchsia ‘Auntie Jinks’ that I’d been nurturing all Spring & Summer won me another 1^st place. Triffic.

As I said earlier, I’m now turning my thoughts to the Welsh Branch of the NVS Branch Championships in Carmarthen this coming weekend, assuming we’re not going to get nuked by North Korea and America before then, and I emailed my entry form off yesterday morning. Saves the cost of a stamp and doesn’t risk those spanners at Royal Mail losing it in transit. I have entered the rather grandly named National Tap Root Championships of Great Britain but it does all depend on how my long beet pull tonight. I’m having to pull them so long before the show as the daylight hours are getting much less in the evenings by the time those of us who work for a living manage to get home. It’ll be carrots tomorrow night and parsnips on Thursday as we’re travelling down on Friday evening so everything needs to be up and prepped in good time. I’ve entered 9 classes in all plus a couple of back-ups, long carrots and parsnips if the long beet doesn’t cut the mustard, but I shan’t bother with those if they’re adequate for the tap root collection. There is also another collection class for 3 sets of veg with a points value of 18 or less, so I’ll hopefully be going for tomatoes, runner beans and stump carrots, but this is usually a highly contested class so each veg will have to be tip top.

And finally I was in bed the other night pulling off my boxers when the wife walked in on me. “Please don’t do that to the dogs!” she said.

Gin & Turnip anyone?

Whilst I was staging on Tuesday morning at Westminster Dave Thornton suddenly said stop what you're doing and come and look at this. He led me to the fruit section as he wanted me to see this set of three lemons exhibited under the name of the Duke of Devonshire.

These were without doubt the biggest three lemons I've ever seen together since I witnessed Medwyn talking to Ian Stocks and Gareth Cameron last month. They barely fit on the plates provided by the RHS and carried off a first prize in the any other fruit class. The only thing I don't like is that the gardener who grew these doesn't get the recognition he deserves because I doubt very much whether the Duke of Devonshire ever kicks off his privileged slippers and actually sets foot inside the glasshouse at Chatsworth!

There were several exhibits of blanch leeks at Westminster but I had to look twice and have a sly giggle at Dave's anorexic set which were incredibly long but only smartie tube thickness. Still, at least his hadn't gone to seed like all of mine, the foliage was clean and I think they got him a 4th!

And I made a note to look out in the seed catalogues for this variety of turnip, the winners in the class, variety 'Oasis'. I've found turnips quite awkward to grow successfully for the showbench. They either get slug damage, the leaves get nibbled by caterpillars, or they split underneath rendering them useless for show. They are also prone to the tap roots getting brown marks and looking very unappetising so this exhibit really shone out on the showbench in London. I can only assume they were grown indoors in raised beds filled with good quality compost as they were absolutely gleaming.

There is so much to see in London these days and shortly after a quick whizz round Harrods where I was very tempted to buy one of their bling-bling watches for the knockdown price of £45,500.00 I was very taken by this 'living wall' of the Athenaeum Hotel, Piccadilly. This is watered by 3000 integrated drip feeders and looked very naturalistic indeed. By the way Oscar now points at me and shouts 'cock'....he's actually pointing at my £22.50 Sekonda watch.....I think!

Final countdown

Just a few more days until my last date of the season, the Dave Thornton organised Derby Show on Saturday and Sunday. I actually made up about 9 points on him at Westminster thanks to my policy of entering just about everything including a plate of 1000 matching lentils and a dish of curly pubes (dressed). However my chances of overhauling him are nil as the likes of John Croot, John Goodall and Charles Cooper will be showing at Derby, all first-rate growers. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and although i'm over 300 points behind i've kept back some long carrots, parsnips, stumps and spuds plus I finally have some tomatoes ripening which I hope to include in my Top Tray. There are also classes for brussel sprouts, a brassica collection (for which I saved one of my 3rd place winning Westminster red cabbages) and a weirdly named 'stem vegetable collection' where you choose from 3 types, 1 of each type selected from Onion, Leek, Celery, Beetroot, Swede. Never seen a class like this at any other show anywhere but it could be worth a dabble! And there is an any other veg cass that my radishes won last season, although I've been a bit more ambitious this year and think I have some nice clean turnips plus I still have several decent lettuce 'Sandrine'. If the Great Show God Mohammed Medwyn is smiling upon me I might make it a close contest yet!




And in answer to the pathetic torrent of texts, emails, blog comments (deleted) that I have been subjected to since yesterday afternoon (haven't you fuckers got anything better to do?) can I just remind you all of the following?



October 20th 1996 Newcastle United 5 Manchester United 0

October 26th 1996 Southampton 6 Manchester United 3



Champions that season? I rest my case. No trophies were ever handed out in October! Now piss off!

London calling

Next up is my 4th Clash (see how clever I was there!?) with Dave Thornton at the RHS Westminster Show a week today. This is an absolutely stunning venue in which to stage vegetables and if you can make the effort the rewards are good as the RHS give very good prize money across the classes, not just in the big collections. Thanks to a website www.parkatmyhouse.com i've managed to find a parking spot at a local pub for 10 quid a day (you can claim this back) so I shall be driving into London in the early hours in order to avoid the congestion charge. Leesa will be travelling down on the train later on in the morning as there will definitely be no room in the car for her this time around.




The reason for this is i've entered 35 classes including 5 collections in the hope of clawing back some of the points difference between myself and the Derby Dingbat. He currently leads by a seemingly unbridgeable 716 to 351 but hopefully i've got a few tricks up my sleeve as Westminster has classes for things like squash (of which I have a nice specimen), turnips, brussel sprouts, red cabbage, cylindrical beet (I have 4 drums of these to empty out!), loose leaf lettuce (my current speciality!), courgettes and chard. When I informed the Thornquat of all my plans his smug face quickly changed and I know he's looking for late rule changes as we go to press just in case. Having said all this he usually picks up a rook of red cards at this show, especially if the Welsh boys don't turn up as happened last year. Therefore I don't doubt that Medwyn will be taking his photo again for GN....yawn!

As well as my Westminster preps i'm also in the process of digesting the NVS Judges' Guide for my impending exam this Saturday. Because Midland Branch aren't holding an exam this year i'm having to travel down to Dorchester in southern country-bumkin land so i'll be setting out early for the 200 mile trip. It means I will be not be entering Sturton Show in Lincolnshire for the first time in 12 years. As well as a two hour written paper there is a mock show that you have to judge, coming up with a 1-2-3 in each class. There are two collections A & B that have to be pointed, so i'm hoping that my experience in entering several collections this year and concentrating on the pointage given to each competitor will stand me in good stead for this. I may sleep in the car if i'm too tired afterwards but as there are more village idiots per hectare down south I don't really want to be hanging about after dark.

Northern sowing dates

Further to my post the other day with John Branham's sowing dates here are the dates for those of you who live in northern rat'oles such as Huddersfield, Ingleton and Leeds. These are the dates of Bob Herbert from Mosborough, near Sheffield and bear in mind these dates first appeared in Medwyn's column 10 years ago so may of the varieties have since disappeared or at least have been usurped by better show varieties. The first sowing date was for a show on Aug 26th and the second for a show on September 29th.

I reproduce these dates exactly as they were published but I cannot for the life of me see how the tomato sowing dates can be correct. Dave Allison and Medwyn have agreed to revisit this idea with a new set of growers for the January 2011 edition of Simply Veg, the NVS quarterly magazine after I'd prompted the pair of them. Something to look forward to and even more reason to join the NVS!

Kind	Cultivar	1stShow Date	2ndShow Date	Comments
Globe Beet	Pablo	17thApril	7th July
Long Beet	Regar	8th April 22ndApril	28thApril 12thMay	Grown in 40 gallon drums
Broad Bean	Jubilee - Hysor	6th May	One sowing	sown in cold greenhouse in 4 inch pots
Green Cabbage	Marathon	25thFebruary	17thMarch	Sown in cold greenhouse in 40 modules potted on into 4 inch pots in J Innes compost
Red Cabbage	Autoro	11thFebruary	10thMarch	Will hold well in rows
Runner Bean	Stenner selection	6th May	9th June	Sow in 4 inch pots in greenhouse
French Bean	The Prince	17thJune	21st July	Sow in 4 inch pots in greenhouse
Carrots Long	Own Selection New Red	4thMarch	7th April	Grow in 40 gallon drums on top of raised beds filled with sand
Carrots Stump	Gringo and Yukon	8th April	21stApril	Grown on raised beds filled with sand
Cauliflower	Virgin, Beauty and Mexico	27thMay	16thJune(Amerigo and Virgin)	Sown in Multicell 40s, potted on into 4 inch pots
Trench Celery	Own sel Ideal Evening Star Red Star Morning Star	28thJanuary 4thMarch 4thMarch 4thMarch	3rdMarch 7th April 7th April 7th April	Start them off in a propagator at 70F. Pot on into 4 inch pots using J Innes 1 and then into 5inch pots in J Innes 3
Cucumber	Carmen and Jessica	1st July	27th July	Sow in propagator at 70F when germinated pot on into 4 inch pots
Lettuce Butterhead	Nancy	17thJune	21st July	Sow in Cold greenhouse in Multicell 40s
Table Marrow	Table Dainty	1st July	29th July	Sow in propagator at 70F then pot on into 4 inch pots
Onions over 250 gram	Re selected Kelsae	28thDecember	one sowing	Sow in propagator at 70F then pot on when at seedling stage
Onions under 250 gram	Buffalo, Bison and Toughball	14thFebruary	One sowing	Sow in propagator at 70F then pot on when at seedling stage
Parsnips	Gladiator and Javelin	25thFebruary	11thMarch	Grown in 40 gallon drums of sand
Peas	Show Perfection	13thMay	3rd June	Sow in cold greenhouse in 4 inch pots
Potatoes	Winston Kestrel Maxine Harmony	22ndApril	26thMay	Grow in black polythene bags using peat based compost
Radish	Cherry Bell	15th July	18thAugust	Grow in Gro bags and keep well watered
Tomatoes	Cheetah Goldstar and Typhoon	20thMay	20thJune	Sow in propagator at 70F in Multicell 40s. Transplant young seedlings into 5 inch pots in J Innes 3
Turnips	Purple Milan	1st July	4thAugust

Weeeee are the chaaaaampions...........

This was a good weekend. United won a trophy (albeit the minor Community Shield) against Chelsea 3-1 and yesterday I collected the 3 trophies I won at a show back in July. I had left them with the organisers as they keep them to get them engraved. This is always a nice touch I find and it is good to see your name on a piece of silverware. More shows should do this but I guess it can be an unnecessary expense. Still, it's a nice feeling to start cluttering up the trophy shelf again. Liverpool and Arsenal can only dream of that!



I spent most of today pottering and tweaking, or as my wife likes to call it....fannying about. At this time of the season there's not a lot more you can do but keep things ticking over as most of the hard work should have been done. On the NVS website some of the lads are posting photos from their shows so you can get an idea of what quality is going to be put on the benches in the next few weeks.

My Cedrico tomatoes are growing pretty well. Because I wanted to have plenty to choose from at Malvern at the end of September I sowed them later than usual, with the result that I have lots of green fruits and my first shows only 3 weeks away. With this in mind I placed 3 ripe bananas below 3 of the oldest plants in order for the ethylene gases to rise up and encourage the lower fruits to start ripening. This really does work.



The photo below shows how I water them. I water into the inverted plastic bottles that are buried well down between the pots so that the water gets straight to the roots. Feeding is done into the pots where the plants are growing, although I will feed into the pop bottles from now on to keep the soil surface as dry as possible. Tomatoes like it hot and dry and any moisture can cause mildew on the fruits so it's important to water carefully and not splash about.



I'm being told that Sweet Candle is growing amazingly well for just about everyone so the big shows should be quite a sight at the stump carrot section. The foliage on my plants is almost bursting out of the enviromesh, and the shoulders are absolutely huge. If they are the same size all the way down I can't wait to harvest them. I gave the foliage a quick spray with epsom salts which I'm told can enhance the colour of the root. This bed of 24 carrots was grown specifically with Malvern in mind and I am prepared to pull the whole lot to get a set of 3.



Mixed fortunes with my long carrots but this bed has improved dramatically in the last month or so. You never know.....I may yet have some quality specimens under here.

After harvesting my Winston spuds (pile of shite) I filled these pots with the old growing medium and a few added nutrients, and sowed a couple with radishes and 3 with turnips. The radishes will be ready in 4 weeks and will be used as gap fillers in my trugs. The turnips should be ready in 10 weeks or so and can be entered in 'any other veg' classes, useful in later shows. The rest of the pots are spare Kestrel potatoes that should give me some new spuds on Christmas Day.

My celery has had to fend for itself but is doing reasonably well. I intend to put a polythene cover round them soon as I shan't be showing these until October and the cold nights can soon make them look a bit limpid.

In the raised bed I grew my pickling shallots harvested in June, then some lettuce for the July show (I didn't win!) I am now growing these 'Prince' french beans. These should be cropping well in time for Sutton Bonington and may last until Malvern.

That's it, i'm off!

Well that's it. I shall be up at 5am tomorrow morning to plant the last lettuce and a few dahlias and then it's off to sunnier climes (at last it's pissing down here). My chest and back have been shaved to match my head. For the next 2 weeks I shall be flat on my back reading Kitchen Garden and Bill Bryson and not worrying about the Smithyveg plot (yeah right!).

One sad task to do yesterday was to lift and discard these leeks that had gone to seed. I had mixed feelings as I would only ever show these at village level so I took the unscheduled opportunity to sow some more beetroot 'Pablo' and a few turnips in this newly spare land with a view to perhaps showing these at Westminster in October if they grow in time.....some 10 weeks away.

As you can see I already cram a few crops into this long raised bed. The beet and turnip seeds have been sown down the middle as mentioned, but I'm also growing some french beans down the left and in the short sections of plastic piping are some stump carrots. I hope these will be ready in time for Sturton in October. The variety is 'Favorite' so that I don't have to dip into my Sweet Candle and can save these for Malvern, Westminster and Derby.

So long folks. I hope you find my Assistant Crop Waterer reasonably interesting in my absence !