Please form an orderly cu!

Since losing two of my four cucumber plants to wilt not long after planting the remaining two have grown really well and are now at the top of the vertical supports. The foliage is fresh looking and very green and now able to support several fruits.

They will now be trained horizontally at head height meaning I will have to duck under them when I enter the greenhouse (yeah ok....that's about knee height to big thick Yorkshiremen then!). I am only growing the central stem and any side shoots are cut back to the first leaf axil. All baby fruits have been picked off up to now, but once the plant has 'turned the corner' I will start to allow fruits to form so that they hang downwards. If you look carefully at the photo above you will see the strings going off from the top of the plants for them to be secured to. This way the skins won't get scratched by the coarse foliage and good strong plants mean that there is a big engine for the fruits to form quickly, vitally important on the showbench as you want good size with freshness.

Cu's can be picked up to a week before your show and stored in clingfilm in the refrigerator. Careful the setting isn't too low as they will freeze and then you'll feel like a right dick. Try and keep the flower attached to the end of the cu, but if you do happen to dislodge it secure it back onto the fruit with a very tiny dollop of superglue. Do it carefully and no-one will ever be able to tell, since most judges are geriatric old sods with shite eyesight. Whilst this is technically cheating every fucker does it and don't let anyone tell you they don't. Besides, it's nigh on impossible to make a car journey without them being shaken off.

By picking the fruits over a week or so you can ensure they are all bang on the money for length, but do bear in mind they will grow very quickly, especially in a dampened greenhouse, so you need to keep a close eye on them to make sure they don't go over the length of the ones you've got in store. I've even heard stories of some growers setting their alarm clocks for the middle of the night when they'd calculated a time they would reach the required length!

I've been pleasantly surprised by my aubergines once again and I am looking forward to entering a few plates in the any other veg classes, not to mention using the rejects in some delicious mousakkas. However, a couple of plants have thrown down their leaves almost overnight, having looked very healthy beforehand. It's not red spider as i've sprayed with Dynamec and there isn't a tell-tale web in sight, and it can't be overwatering as plants next to them are perfectly fine. It is a mystery, but the same thing happened last season and after picking off all the droopy leaves to leave a pathetic looking plant, they did seem to recover and go on to produce a crop.

If anyone has any idea what has caused this please let me know as I asked Dave Thornton and he didn't have a clue.

At the third exit....

The season just gets crazier. Due to a late sowing and planting I wouldn't expect my tomatoes to start colouring up yet based on 'normal' seasons, but last week the first ones started turning and now many more have followed suit. I haven't even thinned the foliage or had to hang up any ripe bananas! After several months of cold temperatures those few days of sunshine last month must have been enough to shock the fruits into ripening. It's a blessing in disguise as I can hopefully use up the fruits from the lower trusses which are usually not a great shape and will get plenty to choose from the 3rd and 4th trusses upwards. I certainly have many nice large shiny green fruits to come so I'm hopeful of tabling a set at Harrogate and Malvern this season. I've also got some cracking aubergines growing below the plants too.....which does make the watering a little awkward.

I pulled up all my 250g 'Setton' onions last night.....actually make that 150g onions as I only managed to salvage a dozen or so from this pile that might make me a set of 4 for the Millennium Class. They stopped growing when the rain stopped, basked in a few days of sun and basically said fuck it, we're ripe, dig us up before that wet stuff comes back. I shall have to make the best of a bad job as the Vento isn't much better.

With my leeks going to seed, my spuds being dogplop and my globe beet hardly germinating I am having to think of a plan B so i'm now turning my attention to other crops such as these Blyton Belle marrows which i'm tying to a sturdy framework of arching metal poles. I've taken off all embryo fruits thus far but fairly shortly the plants will be turning almost horizontally so I can then allow fruits to form. They will then hang down away from the spiky foliage and you'll get a blemish free skin with green colouring all the way round. In the past when i've trained them along the ground you will get one side of your marrow with a yellow face where it has been in contact with the ground. I tried putting a pane of glass between two bricks and growing the marrow on this with some success but it can be dangerous when you walk down the garden at night after a few bevvies!

My french beans 'Prince' timed for Malvern are ready for planting into large pots. I'll plant 3 to each of the pots that i've been growing the onions in and put these on the greenhouse staging for regular maintenance and titivation. Growing under cover should give blemish free pods. These plants come from seed provided by Ronnie Jackson who has won at Branch and National level. He grows them in his polytunnel borders but pots will have to suffice for me again.

And as I may have to rely on some lesser pointed crops to win a few quid this season i've started planting a few lettuce in succession. I've come up with this nifty little idea of some plastic covered wooden planks suspended at the ends on bricks. The plants are planted between the planks, themselves into 3" bottomless pots, the idea being that the roots grow through the pot into the soil below and the leaves rest on the clean surface of the plastic and don't get marked by the soil. The plants will be cut just below the bottomless pot and this allows me to wash the roots with a hose without splashing about too much soil onto the underside of the (hopefully very clean) leaves, The roots are wrapped in damp towelling and this keeps the lettuce fresh for a two or three day show no problem. Sometimes I really do get scared by the brilliance of my brain.

By the way if anyone's interested I'm selling a good line in cheap sat navs stolen (with some ease apparently) from thick northerners' vans. Let me know if you're in the market for one.

Tomato quest 2012

I'm happy to report that my recently failing health is going from strength to strength and i'm hoping to pass some solids in the next few days. My piss is still orange however.


Medwyn won tomatoes at the National last year and when I was chatting to him after judging he was a visibly relieved man that I hadn't been able to enter the class myself. He's never beaten me you see! Well I'm sorry to have to inform him that thus far my plants (var. Cedrico) are on target for this year's National at Malvern. I know his son reads this blog so, ALWYN, .......tell him to make sure he's keeping the trophy well polished so it can be handed over to me in good order!

I've sown them later with the sole aim of Malvern in mind, as I hope my 14 plants will give me the requisite matching 12 fruits. When I won the Midlands in 2010 (beating Medwyn into 2nd....might have mentioned that!) I did seem to time them absolutely perfectly. A big factor with tomatoes is having nice green calyces and a problem with the later September shows is that the calyces can go a bit yellowy in colour. I've spoken to other growers about this and there seems to be conflicting opinions as to what causes this, ranging from a lack of nutrients to the cold nights that you will get at that end of the season. My own personal opinion is it's down to the age of the plants, and how long the fruits have been on the trusses. As a vine ripe variety Cedrico remains firm for quite a few weeks but perhaps there is eventually a payback in calyx condition? All my plants were late last year (replanted in June and therefore still quite young!) and I only managed to stage a set on to my Top Tray entry at Derby Show, where I had fresh looking calyces in late October! However, it has to be said temperatures in most of October 2011 were unseasonably balmy so the warmth factor has to be a consideration. My plants are currently 3" tall and will be potted up into 3" round pots in the next week or two.

I grew aubergines quite successfully for the first time last year and have decided to do so again this season, not so much because they are a valuable 18 pointer but because I love moussaka. I really wish I'd took a photo of 3 that I staged in the 'aov' class at Sutton Bonington Show because they were 3 huge fruits that were well matched nevertheless and won me the class. I couldn't quite manage to get another matching set for any other show, although Dave Thornton got a 2nd at Westminster with fruits from plants that I actually grew for him due to him being unable to do so himself after he had an operation last Spring. Some of these plants are also destined for Thornton and the variety is Bonica. I shall be staking them this season as the plants did tend to lean to one side under the weight of the fruits. And I shall be ruthless in aborting any small fruitlets that do not look as if they will make good shaped specimens when fully formed, as you can only expect each plant to successfully bear 4 or 5 during the season.

I also sowed my Evening Star celery later this season as when I came to stage them at Malvern and Westminster I had some blistering on the inside of the stalks, a sure sign of an older plant that is past its best i'm informed.

It seems unbelievable that these tiny seedlings, coming as they do from seed that looks like dust can grow to such huge plants in such a short space of time. Mother Nature is such a wonderful thing. However, when you see what she did to the faces of Unsworth, Bastow and Dickie 3 Inch you also realise she can also be one hell of a bitch when she wants to be.

Nearly April already!

A lot has happened since my last post but unfortunately I've been too busy at work and home to keep you all up to speed. My Cedrico tomatoes were sown on 16th March and were up within days and are now pricked out into 2" cells. I have several pots of peppers and aubergines to prick out also. I shall be taking care of my tomato seedlings from now on as if they were my very own bollocks, such was my disappointment at not being able to stage a decent set of tomatoes at all last season due to my incompetence.

I still haven't managed to get my parsnip holes bored yet although I should have that job nailed this weekend. They will soon catch up with anything that might have been sown earlier. Then it will be long carrots and not long after that the potatoes will need to be bagged up. It's non-stop from now on.

I have all my composts to hand now. Just before TEGS I went up to Codnor Horticultural Supplies in Ripley, Derbyshire and stocked up on M3 and F2, with a few bags of peat, sterilised topsoil and vermiculite to boot. I didn't think I was going to get it all into my car but thanks to the two guys in the yard they managed to load me up so that I could still see PC Plodfart of the M1 up my arse if I had to. They really were a helpful company, and despite advertising themselves as 'trade only' they don't turn away anyone with hard cash, and I shall be visiting them more often from now on for my composts and feeds. I've never bothered with Levingtons before, preferring to buy cheap and cheerful from B&Q and adding my own nutrients (very haphazardly!) but I'm now prepared to pay extra for better quality material. I hope it makes a difference.

M3 is a high nutrient compost which I'll be using in my pots for growing my onions on, and F2 is a lower nutrient seed and potting compost which I shall be using for my parsnip and carrot mixes.

My shallots are giving me many concerns yet again. Despite a spraying with Folicur quite a few of them have still developed white tip. Once they get it then the affected leaves can grow no more as they extend from the ends. I think I have it relatively controlled and have plenty of bulbs to plant out so hopefully they'll be ok, but they just won't get as big as I'd like. With a planting date of mid-April in mind i've given the beds where they'll grow a generous dusting of Tev04 fertiliser, and will follow that with some dried blood this weekend for extra nitrogen.

I have also pricked out 30 or so celery 'Evening Star' which needs an awful lot of care taking in order not to damage the tiny little seedlings. Whilst celery are a bog plant and you don't want to allow them to dry out I'm still watering these very carefully with a small watering can so as not to get excess water on the foliage. As these are currently residing in my conservatory I don't want them getting scorched during the afternoon when the sun is strongest.

So, whilst I'm behind on some tasks all in all i'm quite happy with progress thus far. And talking of progress, Oscar has started nursery and even has his very own schoolbag! And he's already nearly as tall as me!

Free Jennifer Lopez nude sex pics hot hot hot

Apologies for the title, but my blog stats tell me that the most popular page (by some distance) was the one I did last year entitled simply 'Loughborough', presumably visited so often by prospective students and visitors to the town doing a google search. No doubt when they click on the link it isn't quite what they are looking for nor indeed expecting and some swearing and cussing ensues, but hey-ho! So I dreamed up the above title, and if I can just convert to growing for showing, two or three of the masturbating teenagers out of the millions that will now undoubtedly visit this blog for other reasons then it'll be a result (well, it worked with Adam Greathead!). Either that or I'll be cited in the Guinness Book of Records as the most prolific cause of lost boners in recorded history!


Well now, I really do have to buckle down from now on in and make full use of every spare moment. My peppers popped through the compost today and in the next few days I will be sowing brussels, cabbages, aubergines and celery indoors. The sand in my parsnips drums has now settled with no further sinkage, so I took the opportunity to drench it with some Jet 5 at a rate of 45ml to 5 litres. Hopefully that has scorched the crap out of any remaining canker spores or carrot fly larvae that might have overwintered. I'll try and get my mixes done in the next week for boreholing next weekend, although my involvement with the NVS stand at The Edible Garden Show might mean that goes back another week.

I really can't praise my friend Helen enough for the superb onions she's grown for me and as Dan is quite rightly intimating, I hope I can do them full justice from now on. They are already as big as anything I would have had growing in the beds in May so I'm off to a flyer with them. Unfortunately my growlight has gone on the blink so they're currently residing in my conservatory but as this weekend sees equilibrium with 12 hours of equal daylight/darkness I'd have been switching the light off anyway.

My conservatory is also home to my Pendle Improved leeks and several trays of Vento onion seedlings.

These are on a par, if not better than any leeks i've produced in the past so i'm more than happy with how they're ticking along, but once again Helen put me to shame as I simply could not believe the size of her leeks which must be at least an inch diameter and 11" to the button. Derek Aldred is going to have some serious competition at Southern Branch this season. And thanks for the tea and cake Helen!

I've also done something I've not bothered with in the past, although it does make a whole lot of sense. I've heard one or two other growers talking about germination tests so I've done one with a few long beetroot seeds from a batch I had left over from last season supplied by a scottish friend. As I grew my best long beet last season I wanted to see if the same seed was viable and i'm happy to report a small pot of seed has germinated, although I won't be starting the boreholes off until early May with Malvern in mind hopefully. I've got two drums prepared already, and hope to get another four set up before then, each with 5 roots in. You can do a germination test with old batches of carrot and parsnip seed also. It certainly saves wondering whether they're ever going to germinate after sowing proper.

Odds and sods

Being a competitive sod it's always been my inclination to try and enter every class at any given show. Charlie Maisey told me last year that I should try and concentrate on a few veg that I can grow well and specialise in those but I've always attached a certain kudos to winning most points in show at local level. And to do that you have to grow lots of other vegetables so that you pick up points in lots of classes that your competitors might not necessarily bother with. It makes me a jack of all trades but master of none!

The Harlequin cherry tomatoes have been cropping for a couple of weeks now and the fruits are a uniform plum shape with attractive calyces. They're also quite tasty and very meaty for a small tomato.

The only thing about this variety is a very weird leaf habit. They really do twist and curl up far more than any other tomato i've ever grown. I've been on the verge of pulling them up a few times as they look as if they're dying but other growers have reported the same on their plants.

I've managed to grow my best ever aubergines this season after several years of failure. I harvested 7 'Bonica' yesterday which Leesa made into a blinding mousakka.There are several more smaller fruits forming on the plants which will hopefully give me fruits to enter in the any other veg classes at local level. Be careful on the calyces however as they have incredibly sharp spikes sticking out of them that pierce the skin very easily and deeply. They bloody hurt!

There are plenty of crops that can be sown between 8 and 12 weeks before your show so I like to sow little and often crops such as lettuce, french beans and kohl rabi. For the first time this season i'm growing pak choi as there is a class at Westminster for a collection of salading vegetables.  As space becomes available I shall plant these out although I shall make sure my lettuce gets planted where my broad beans were to take advantage of the nitrogen fixed in the soil by the bean roots.

As well as veg I usually like to grow a few dahlias for my local shows only. Thanks to Kev Broxholme I'm growing Blyton Softer Gleam this season which was raised by Les Stothard of the marrow Blyton Belle fame. The first bloom has just opened out and it's a lovely apricot coloured small ball. I only have three plants of three varieties so getting three matching blooms isn't going to be easy.

As i've said in the past growing a variety of veg for show is like one of those plate jugglers that used to appear on the Generation Game. Getting them all timed to perfection for the same date takes some doing and it's inevitable that some plates come crashing to the ground. Perhaps I ought to consider just growing 3 or 4 things to perfection? Nahhhh.

Beet box

I think I may well have to take up stamp collecting instead of showing veg. There seems to be some sort of Bermuda Triangle around my tomato greenhouse as some aubergines have now decided to throw down their leaves in disgust.

Just outside the greenhouse this pepper plant also threw down its leaves overnight. Plants in pots next to it growing in exactly the same compost are doing fine.

And several of my Kestrel potatoes in bags are showing this weird yellow tipping on some of the leaves, although the rest of the foliage seems to be very glossy and healthy. Oh what a multitude of stress!

Dave Thornton reckons I should stick to growing radishes (at which I excel I might add), so with this in mind I have this fine row of 'Jolly' alongside my leeks just through in time hopefully for the 'any other veg' class at a show on 9th July. Sadly, there is no class for radish at the National but if there was I'd be a contender, no doubt about it.

This weekend I will sow one last row of Pablo beetroot with Westminster Show in mind, although in reality I've found that a set of three can come from rows sowed several weeks apart. Pablo does seem to be an easier beet to match up than Red Ace but it can produce all manner of sizes from marble to mangold all in one row. Having sown a row every weekend from mid-May I should now be well covered for all my shows but last season my best looking roots came from this old water tank filled with sieved compost from my own compost heap. I find you can grow them about 4" apart quite happily although leaf miners can decimate a bed if you're not vigilant. I've been spraying with Decis this season and haven't noticed any damage so far. I was hoping to time these for Llangollen for the Millenium class but as I won't have any tomatoes to go with them it looks like my local show the weekend after will benefit.

Beetroot needs a lot of nitrogen at first and once established I will also water in nitrate of soda and a dash of salt which is supposed to improve the colour. Growing in this tank with fine compost also means I can force my hand down the side of the root at harvest time and get as much of the tap root up as possible. Three globe beet just under tennis ball size, with long thin tap roots 8" long are what you are hoping for. And an appeal to some of those cheating bastards who coat their beet with some substance that means they still look wet after 2 days.....don't! Certainly at Malvern the schedule says something along the lines that any foreign substances will result in disqualification and hopefully other shows will follow suit, and not before time!

Almost liftoff

Pretty much all the hard back-breaking work is now done in terms of shifting tonnes of sand, boring holes, lugging bales of peat, planting spuds and getting greenhouse frameworks sorted. A good job too as I've lost so much weight i'm now only 14stone 6lbs and am wasting away. From now on it's a lot of sowing, planting, feeding, tying up, tweaking and generally fannying about in order to make sure your stuff stays fit and healthy for the next few months.

I got 50 late sown onion plants in today, the so-called Frisco variety which is probably Tasco as Frisco appears not to exist. I planted them in this long bed through a weed suppressant membrane as I am still trying to eradicate bindweed from it.

My tomatoes are looking good as are the 'Bonica' aubergines I've planted in front of them. I've never had plants look this big and this healthy before so hopefully i'll be able to exhibit some for the first ever time this year. There is a danger they could get shaded out by the tomatoes as they climb up into the greenhouse ridge but we shall see. Ideally you want to be planting them in a separate bed with plenty of sunlight but as I haven't got that luxury I will have to manage. The bed was well rotavated and a good layer of horse muck put in the bottom which I hope will benefit both crops. The bottomless watering pots will also feed both.

And it will soon be time to put my gobby predictions into practise and sow my peas for Llangollen. The two inclined poles will be carrying my runner beans, the first sowings of which germinated today. I have some new plans on how to grow runners this season and will be going into this in June. The row where the spade is sticking out had a deep trench dug last weekend and an 8" layer of horse muck layered into the bottom of it. This is where I hope to be growing a couple of rows of the best peas ever witnessed at National level or else I'll run round the streets of Llangollen naked shouting Ian Stocks is my hero. In front of that are my bags of Kestrel and NVS Amour spuds.

All kinda exciting aint it?

Get them out for the glads!

Checking back on some old diaries I noticed that I would normally be planting out my gladioli corms from about now. This year i'm cutting back on flowers to concentrate fully on my veg....unless a certain Mr. B from Hull has managed to propagate some spare dahlias for me? If you fancy showing gladioli then plant a dozen corms a week from now for the next three weeks.....there aren't many better showbench sights than a vase of show glads.

Having planted my Cedrico tomatoes and Bonica aubergines a couple of weeks ago I made sure I didn't water them again until they looked absolutely desperate....and that was yesterday. This forces their roots to go off in search of moisture and will ultimately give you stronger plants. The aubergines in particular are looking very strong.

I got lots of essential jobs done over the weekend to get me back on the right timescale. I managed to get 15 bags of Casablanca potatoes planted and 12 bags of NVS Sherine, both white varieties. Each seed spud was planted into a black polybag with a handful of calcified seaweed and a handful of Tev04 (or Vitax Q4) 'scuffled' amongst the bottom couple inches of the peat. My coloured varieties for 2011, Kestrel and NVS Amour will be done this week.

I also managed to plant my remaining 22 Pendle Improved leeks into their final stations, having given the bed a top dressing of dried blood a couple of weeks ago. For now there are no collars on them as I prefer the plant to concentrate on getting some good roots down into the bed which I have rotavated really well this year and the soil is lovely and friable. I will put DPC collars on them in a couple of weeks and start the 'drawing' process. Before the roots get too far into the soil I will put a stout support stick next to each plant, say no more than two inches away, that the leek and DPC will be tied to in order to keep the plant perfectly upright and the barrel nice and erect.

And talking of erect I was most disappointed to learn that I had missed 'World Naked Gardening Day' on Saturday as I was pre-occupied with Man U winning the League yet again and consigning Liverpool to the tag of 2nd most successful team in English football history. So tonight I took the opportunity to mark the occasion with a quick streak around the plot and a bit of a 'dibble' in the potting shed.

At the weekend Wayne Rooney famously shaved his chest to leave the number '19' embossed in hairs on his torso. I prefer to leave the entire tangled history of Man U daubed on mine! Furthermore, the history of Arsenal is on my back and the history of Liverpool is on my arse!

18

18 is a significant number. For instance it's the record number of English football titles won by a team, currently shared by Manchester United and Liverpool, although Manchester United will overtake their pikey rivals at the end of this season, assuming of course that Steven 'utter scouse cheat' Gerrard doesn't do his usual trick and create a goal for Arsenal with a dubious pass-back like he did last season for Chelsea. No, i'm talking of course about 18 pointer vegetables which include stump carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, exhibition shallots and runner beans.

For show-growers making up collections they can be very useful if you have a shortage of 20 pointer veg, and indeed Peter Clark has often won the National by using quality cucumbers in his collection of 6. When well grown, getting 13 or 14 out of 18 points can often be a better option than getting 11 or 12 out of 20. One 18 pointer that isn't often seen on the show benches is the humble aubergine, in fact it's about as rare as seeing a Liverpool player who doesn't want to break a Man Utd player's legs. I've tried growing this veg for a few years now and haven't had much success, so I know it's well worth its valuation as an 18 pointer veg. At Westminster there is a class for veg over 14 points and less than 20, and Dave Thornton has won this a few times now with a set of three quality aubergines. The variety he grows is 'Bonica' and i've decided to try it by sowing a few seeds today in the hope of giving Dave a run for his money at Westminster in October, and maybe get a few nice specimens like these.

Text books say they can be grown in a similar way as tomatoes and given the same feeds. They like a moisture retentive soil that also doesn't get too waterlogged, and irregular watering can lead to blossom end rot much as it does with toms. I read a few years ago that they are best grown in large pots in the greenhouse and can be planted on a mound in the centre of the pot so that the base of the plant doesn't get too wet and rot. By planting on a mound when you water it runs away from the foot of the plant and thus you are able to give plenty of water safely. I've found that red spider might can be a problem so a regular mist of the leaves is needed and very often the fruits form but drop off before they get much bigger than a cherry tomato. Last year the leaves of my plants turned yellow quite early on in the season and although a regular spray of epsom salts helped a bit I think perhaps I needed a bit more 'oomph' in the potting mix they were planted into. I shall be using a more soil based one this season.

The thing about 'showing' is to learn from your previous mistakes and improve things bit by bit for the next season. It's much like life isn't it? For instance, if you left your car within 10 miles of Liverpool you would come back to find it on fire and all your possessions stolen by the thieving scouse bastards, so the next day you'd know not to do it again.

First carrots through

Photos to follow but my first Sweet Candle stump rooted carrots came through in the raised beds today, approximately two weeks after sowing. I shall need to crack on with making some enviromesh covers now, so that I don't have a recureence of last season's carrot fly nightmares.

I have had to re-sow about 15 parsnip stations as I just wasn't happy with the seedlings that emerged. I have placed chitted seed of Polar F1 in these positions but I have marked them with a white label so that I can tell them apart from the Pinnacle variety in the other stations come harvest time. Sod's Law has dictated that there was no pattern to to the failed Pinnacles so there is now a mix of roots in each drum.

A couple of days ago my pumpkins all emerged so I now have 5 plants growing strongly. The patch of land a few miles away that I grew 'Heidi' on last year has been rotovated by the owners and they say they are ready for me when I am. I wasn't going to bother trying to grow a big'un again but they insisted. I think they enjoyed watching her grow as much as I did. Hopefully I won't get swine flu or anything similar at a critical time this season and I can manage the plants rather than leaving them to their own devices. I feel sure I could have grown a 400 pounder if I hadn't been so close to death. I shall have to think of a different name for the biggest Heidi daughter. If Liverpool beat Chelsea this weekend 'Gerrard' is a distinct possibilty.

I potted my first batch of Cedrico tomatoes into 3.5" pots tonight, but the 2nd batch sown a couple of weeks ago seems very slow to germinate for some reason and I only have 3 seedlings up yet. The greenhouse is now bulging with peppers, aubergines, onions and a single cucumber plant which is another earlier than usual sowing as far as I'm concerned, in order to try and have a couple of cu's for the mid-July show I'm hoping to enter for the first time this season.

I am now hardening off my leeks, cabbages, brussels and 8oz onions with a view to planting these out in the next week or so. However, with colder air coming down from the north over the weekend I may have to postpone this, even bring some younger plants back into the greenhouse for a short while again.

Today I had some very good news about a trip I shall be making on the 9th May. I shall give more details nearer the time but all I shall say for now is that I can barely contain my excitement. When you realise (as I did after accepting) that I will be missing the deciding games of the Premiership it will give you an idea of how important it must be.

Phew, what a scorcher!

Great weather for camels but not for spuds! The scorching weekend sunshine had made my spud tops droop so after topping up the bags with more compost I gave each one at least half a watering can of water which took an awful long time to do. But I was rewarded for my efforts as the foliage perked up almost instantly and I swear they've grown an inch overnight.

My onions have started to get a move on at long last, but with only two months until I need to be harvesting them I'm not going to break any weight records. The plants in the pots are aubergines......yes I know I said I wasn't going to bother growing them ever again!!!!

I planted my first runner bean plants of 'Blyton Sabre' at the weekend and also set some more bean seeds 'in situ' to cover the later shows.

These are my first planting of peas 'Show Perfection'. Peas are a '20 pointer' vegetable as it's notoriously difficult to stage a good set in August/September because most late sowings succumb to mildew. To get good peas you need to grow 'cordon style' up a bamboo cane and snip off all the tendrils. The means the plants energies are diverted to producing the pods but also means tying or clipping the plant to the cane almost daily. The flowers are cut off until about 21-28 days before the show.

I'm off to the Lakes.....

.......walking this weekend, as it will be my last chance before the growing season really kicks into gear. This is where all my show veg and flowers are at thus far in the season.

Tomato Cederico. 1st 6 seedlings 2” high. . A 2nd batch was be sown 2 weeks ago and has now germinated.

CeleryRed Star. I have a tray of 12 small plants still in my conservatory. I hope to put these in the greenhouse soon.

Large onions. (bought-in plants) in greenhouse. Still very small. There won’t be any whoppers this year.

Shallots .Were all planted 3 weeks ago…..Dave Thornton’s 12 bulbs, my own reselected shite and some Longor . All growing away very well indeed.

Onion sets Setton. 25+ plants were planted out last weekend. Another couple of trays to be planted up the ‘allotment’.

Onion sets Red Baron. 25+ plants were planted out 3 weekends ago. Parsnips Pinnacle. All through bar two of the 45 stations.

Long carrots. Sown 12 days ago but not through as yet.

Stump carrots Sweet Candle. 22 stations sown last weekend. Another 50 to do as soon as possible.

Red cabbage Maestro. Tray of 24 pricked out 4 weeks ago. Greenhouse. Not growing well at all however so another pot has been sown a week ago and is ready for pricking out.

Green cabbage Globemaster. Tray of 24 pricked out 2 weeks ago. Greenhouse.

Brussel Abacus. Tray of 24 pricked out 4 weeks ago. Greenhouse. As with red cabbage these are looking very poor.

My potatoes (Winston/Kestrel/Nadine/Malin) are chitting in trays in my garage and will go in from next weekend.

My dahlia tubers are all in boxes of peat and the first shoots are showing on some.

I also have several capsicum (Big Jim and Luteus) plants pricked out, aubergines (Black Beauty) and leeks (Musselburgh) for the pot. 2 nights ago I sowed the pumpkin seed that I aquired from a 1341lb European record holder.

Any other veg ?

For the second year I'm growing aubergines in large pots but I'm giving them more attention this season and they seem to be better for it. Aubergines are worth up to 18 points as they are quite difficult to grow and so are worth it for entering into the 'Any other veg' class if there is one at your show. I read that whilst they like lots of water they don't like to be sat in it so I plant them on a bit of a mound so that excess water can run off. The pots are on the greenhouse staging and the compost is drenched each day. There are no flowers yet but as soon as there are I shall pollinate with a soft brush to facilitate the process.

Bulging greenhouse

I only have two small (8'x6') greenhouses and I'm constantly having to rearrange pots and trays at this time of year to get the most of my limited shelving. Most of them now need putting outside to harden off but I'm still sowing runner beans, cucumbers, marrows, lettuce and caulis as I want all my veg to be ready from late August to early October.

The large pots on the shelves contain aubergines. I tried growing these last year without agreat deal of success so I'm having another go. I've planted them on a mound of compost as I read that they don't like to have their roots too wet, and planting this way allows excess water to run off.

At the back of the staging are my dahlia cuttings rooting (hopefully) in mini-cloches of cut off lemonade bottles. I managed to pot on the first of my successfully rooted cuttings of Emma's Coronet and Kenora Sunset yesterday, with several more to follow in the next few days (time allowing).

In fact the next few days are going to be a bit manic.....I need to support my leek foliage with a bamboo frame, pot on the first of my caulis, plant more spuds (Malin), plant my gladioli (yes I know they're a bit late but they always flower early for me if planted in May!), thin out my carrots etc etc etc. I really need to win the lottery so I can retire early!

The weakest links

Sad, sorry sod that I am, I keep a spreadsheet of all my successes since I started showing in 1996. Over the years I can now see those veg that I've had most successes with, notably:

Cabbages 26 wins

Parsnips 25 wins

Long carrots 24 wins

Potatoes 23 wins

Beetroot 22 wins

Tomatoes 16 wins

Cucumbers 15 wins

Marrows 15 wins

However, it also shows some glaring failures on my veg showing CV:

Shallots 7 wins

Runner beans 6 wins

Caulis 1 win

Celery 0 wins

Large onions 0 wins

I've decided that next year I really have to rectify this situation if possible so I'm going all out to try and improve my record on caulis and celery in particular. To do this I'm going to grow far less cabbages as they take up far too much room for the trouble involved. I shall also be growing less 'novelty' veg such as peppers, aubergines, chard and okra and really concentrating on the 'serious' show veg.....onions/leeks/spuds/carrots/parsnips/tomatoes/cucumbers