The 2013 season starts here.

Whilst I've cut down on the shows that I have done this season I have found it a bit of a bind prepping certain veg in recent weeks, struggling to get myself motivated even for the big shows. Parsnips in particular have pissed me off, and I didn't lavish the usual care and attention on my Westminster entry. The decision of the NVS not to reduce them from 5 to 3 at future National Championships was a frustrating one and makes me wonder whether I can be arsed in future. Parsnips need quite a bit of rubbing to get the dirt from all the nooks and crannies and when you've done the first one and it's gleaming (Which can take 10 minutes or more to do properly) and your hands and arms are cold and you're faced with a bathful of another 8 or 9 for the various classes then your motivation starts to wane. It was for this reason that I supported a class reduction proposal. Washing several plates of spuds over the sink is another excrutiatingly mindnumbing task and with proposed increases in peat prices I am seriously considering not bothering growing spuds to show in future. How do other growers feel about these subjects?

Maybe the answer is to specialise? A couple of seasons ago Charlie Maisey watched me whizzing around like a lunatic at Westminster and advised me to cut down on the amount of different veg I grew and concentrate on growing a few to the absolute best of your abilities. Charlie himself is best known for growing tomatoes, cucumbers and runner beans. At the time I was adamant I wanted to grow as much as I could in order to fill the benches at local shows but if I'm struggling to enjoy the preparation then perhaps I need to re-evaluate which crops I grow in future?

Next season I intend to do a new show at Causey Inn in Stanley, Co. Durham, not far from the Beamish Museum. Run by the recently formed North East Horticultural Society this show has gone from strength to strength the last couple of seasons but it has been held on the same day as Harrogate Show. Next year it will be held the week after so I'll give it a go and put myself up against the cream of the north east where there are many incredibly good growers who never venture out of the region. Indeed, it was in Co. Durham that my interest in show veg was first fostered 20 years or so ago, when my geordie uncle took me to a working men's club at pot leek show time. There were many benches straining under the weight of pot leeks but I was more interested in one small section towards the back of the display where they'd crammed in all the other vegetable classes, and in particular the long carrots. I just had to know how they were produced and it wasn't long before Gardeners' World did a piece showing Medwyn preparing for the British Tap Root Championships and from that moment I was hooked.

Causey have excellent prize money and some very interesting classes that don't require you to pull several drums of parsnips or long carrots so I've decided to give Malvern and (possibly) Westminster the elbow next season and visit a different neck of the woods for a look-see. Have a look at the NEHS website and see what you think.

http://www.ne-hs.com/

So that's my show season over for another year. Due to our 25th anniversary I severely cut back on the amount of shows I did this season but I must admit I did enjoy the reduced workload so I have some hard decisions to make next season and so I fear there are one or two shows I won't be able to attend for the foreseeable future. A couple of years ago I was doing virtually one show every weekend from mid-August until late October in some capacity or other and I want to trim it down so we have at least one free weekend every other week during the show period. It's been a real bonus for me that Leesa has started to enjoy helping me out at staging time but I don't want to push my luck so I am already looking at the shows I do and coming up with a schedule for 2013. I already know that I won't be doing Malvern and maybe Westminster next year.

I'm also now going to be taking a mini-break from the blog until just before Christmas as I want to concentrate on getting the plot tidy and some construction work for a new polytunnel and a chicken run. I have quite a few exciting plans for the garden and it's no use talking about them I have to get outdoors on cold Winter weekends and get things done! I'm also itching to get out on the hills and try out my brand new walking boots which I am currently wearing around the house to try and break them in and avoid blisters. In November we're having a weekend in the Brecon Beacons and I'm hoping to take Leesa up Fan-y-Big (titter titter!). I also need to give my undivided attention in the coming weeks to Strictly Come Dancing and Victoria Pendleton's Argentine Tango. Just before Christmas I will be publishing this year's coveted Smithyveg Awards. I've already started writing them and the usual suspects are in the firing line but I can promise some new faces will be winning my much coveted awards this season. Until December folks........adieu!

In it to win it (part 2)

Apologies for making this blog invite only, but it had to be done as I was getting so much spam that it was taking too long to wade through each day. Also, I shouldn't be showing up in search engines before too long which should keep certain folk happy. I always found it quite amusing that people complained about my blog so much when there was this perfectly useful little 'X' thingy in the top right hand corner of all computers that could be clicked if you no longer deemed me worthy of screen time.

I took virtually all my big onions down to Westminster. Not that they were that great but after staging I realised I was going to be taking home a fair few quid. This was because I was one of only two entries in both the large onion class and the collection of onions, and although I knew they wouldn't get a 'first' the prize money for coming second was £50 and £40 respectively, so for the sheer effort of bothering to take them I was handsomely rewarded. Some of them were still green underneath despite having been harvested mid-August.

Whilst we enjoyed Westminster Tuesday really is a crap day to hold a veg show meaning at least one day off work but the venue is stunning and as I have intimated there is a fair old wedge of prize money on offer. I've never really understood mid-week shows and I believe it puts the working man at a disadvantage but I suppose each organisation has its reasons, some of them historical. I was contemplating giving Westminster a miss next year but as the entries were down by quite a bit then you do feel a certain responsibility to keep going for the sake of the future of the show. Hopefully I've persuaded a few of you to have a crack next year as there is some good prize money on offer if you are prepared to make the effort. I hope the RHS does a bit more marketing on the Westminster Shows as it would be a shame if the show died through lack of interest. Yes it's a real bind getting veg into the middle of London but if you can then try and car share and by using a website called ParkatMyHouse you can find a local address to leave your vehicle for about a tenner a day. I found a pub about a mile away. If you travel overnight and don't leave until 6pm you also avoid the congestion charge, although sadly not the crazy London traffic. Alternatively the North East Derby DA get a coach load up which certainly takes the stress of driving through London away and I'll be going back to this option next year. If anyone needs advice on entering, getting to and from the venue for future reference then drop me a line.

I grew pot leeks for the first time this season and whilst I virtually neglected them after planting they nevertheless made a reasonable entry at Westminster and won me another first prize, although I was the only entry! Another ten quid. Ker-ching! I shall certainly be growing a few more of these next season, the variety was Cumbrian. I grew some reasonable Pendle blanch leeks last season despite almost total neglect so perhaps there is a theme running here? They were certainly a lot easier to prepare and transport than blanch leeks.

To round up the rest of my Westminster results I got a 3rd for two beautifully conditioned Blyton Belle marrows although one was a bit smaller than the other. Once we get to the end of September they don't grow as fast as they did and I ran out of time to match them up for size. The larger one had actually been cut at the end of August.

A pleasing 3rd in the coloured potato class with Amour. I really wish the judges at Westminster would rearrange the exhibits how they found them rather than slinging them back on the plate from a few yards away!

1st with 15 leaves of chard 'Vulcan'. I have to thank Leesa for choosing the 15 and arranging them.

2nd in the chilli pepper class with Hungarian Hotwax. Leesa chose these too!

3rd for parsnips 'Polar', sadly a variety that is no longer available. Looks like i'm back to square shouldered 'Pinnacle' next year!

3rd for courgettes 'Ambassador'.

1st for lettuce 'Saladin'. I dug the roots up intact, washed off all the soil, wrapped them in damp tissue followed by kitchen foil and the plants stay nice and fresh for the two days of the show no problem.

A very pleasing 3rd for my celery 'Evening Star'. I even beat former National Champion Geoff Butterworth so that has given me a real boost to carry on growing celery despite the fact that we don't eat the bloody stuff! Besides, celery doesn't last too well on the show bench and gets left behind every time.

2nd for french beans 'Prince'. The timing of my sowings were for Malvern so I was really struggling to keep these going and they were a tad 'beany'.

3rd in the 4 dishes class. I had to stage some pretty poor 250g onions in this class or I might have easily got a 2nd. Sherie Plumb won the class.

So that's my final show of the season done and dusted. I'll leave the final word to Medwyn.

Gin & Turnip anyone?

Whilst I was staging on Tuesday morning at Westminster Dave Thornton suddenly said stop what you're doing and come and look at this. He led me to the fruit section as he wanted me to see this set of three lemons exhibited under the name of the Duke of Devonshire.

These were without doubt the biggest three lemons I've ever seen together since I witnessed Medwyn talking to Ian Stocks and Gareth Cameron last month. They barely fit on the plates provided by the RHS and carried off a first prize in the any other fruit class. The only thing I don't like is that the gardener who grew these doesn't get the recognition he deserves because I doubt very much whether the Duke of Devonshire ever kicks off his privileged slippers and actually sets foot inside the glasshouse at Chatsworth!

There were several exhibits of blanch leeks at Westminster but I had to look twice and have a sly giggle at Dave's anorexic set which were incredibly long but only smartie tube thickness. Still, at least his hadn't gone to seed like all of mine, the foliage was clean and I think they got him a 4th!

And I made a note to look out in the seed catalogues for this variety of turnip, the winners in the class, variety 'Oasis'. I've found turnips quite awkward to grow successfully for the showbench. They either get slug damage, the leaves get nibbled by caterpillars, or they split underneath rendering them useless for show. They are also prone to the tap roots getting brown marks and looking very unappetising so this exhibit really shone out on the showbench in London. I can only assume they were grown indoors in raised beds filled with good quality compost as they were absolutely gleaming.

There is so much to see in London these days and shortly after a quick whizz round Harrods where I was very tempted to buy one of their bling-bling watches for the knockdown price of £45,500.00 I was very taken by this 'living wall' of the Athenaeum Hotel, Piccadilly. This is watered by 3000 integrated drip feeders and looked very naturalistic indeed. By the way Oscar now points at me and shouts 'cock'....he's actually pointing at my £22.50 Sekonda watch.....I think!

Manna from heaven

At Westminster there is a tap root class calling for long carrots, parsnips, long beet and stump carrots, 2 specimens of each. This is always well-contested and several of the North East Derby lads compete in this one. I only had the stump variety Caradec left over, a carrot I'd grown last season in pipes in the greenhouse and was so impressed with it that I decided to grow it in stations in a sand bed in the standard way to see if it might be a contender against Sweet Candle. I can report that it most certainly isn't! I struggled for uniformity and many of them were quite bent after pulling. I tried straightening them by applying gentle pressure but after snapping a couple I had to go with what I had and made a reasonable entry with my best two long beet, a nice set of long carrots but a pair of parsnips that were unfortunately touched by carrot fly. When I pulled for Harrogate none of my parsnips had been affected but the action of pulling them had obviously attracted a 3rd generation of the flying pests and I had several roots affected for Malvern and Westminster. In future I really need to make sure I re-apply some phorate around the crowns in September or else construct some form of barrier to prevent them access.

I was reasonably pleased with the third placed ticket behind John Goodall in first and Dave Thornton in second, both ex-National Carrot champions, but I didn't really look at the class in great detail as by that time we'd been up all night and I was absolutely fucked to buggery.

When I returned on Wednesday I took a closer look and couldn't help noticing that Dave's collection seemed inferior to mine at first glance so I started to compare the scores to try and ascertain how the judge had arrived at the totals. It was then that I noticed a glaring error on behalf of the judge.See if you can spot it?

Needless to say I complained immediately and the tickets will be reversed, although Dave says he's never speaking to me again!

In it to win it

Over the years i've left so much veg at home, deeming it not worthy and then come to regret it after judging when I realised it would have been good enough for a ticket. Knowing that Westminster struggles for entries in some classes I entered my pathetic long beet hoping to get a third if there were only three entries. As it was there were only two and I got a first and the ten quid prize money. Ker-ching!

I wasn't going to bother growing long beet next year but I may now try growing some in long pipes. It will be easier to get the whole root out at least. I also won the cylindrical beet class for the second year running. Last year there were a half dozen or more entries but this year? Just me! Eight more quids. Ker-ching!

My point is that some shows are shrinking, others struggling and many positively dying, so just bite the bullet and you never know. And hopefully some growers who didn't enter but who visited for a looksee saw my veg and quietly thought to themselves "I can beat that gobby twat" and will be tempted to have a crack in 2013!

Worth the wait.

Out of my 8 firsts at Westminster the one that probably pleased me the most was tomatoes. It's been two years since I won a tomato class and after this car crash of a season it's taken till October for the best shaped fruits to ripen. As with the carrots they weren't the biggest but they were nice and round and a well-matched set. Charlie Maisey certainly liked them. And as far as i'm concerned Cedrico is still the best variety to grow for show.

Success at last!

Fair play to Leesa, she doesn't give in. A deserved first prize ticket for a trug at a major show at long last! Thanks to Dickie 9 Centimetres for taking the photo!

Westminster 2012

As I was driving down to London this morning at 2am I was wondering if I wasn't wasting my time. 8 firsts and 240 quid later I'm very glad I made the effort. Pick of the bunch was a win in long carrots and a very competitive tomato class. When I staged my tomatoes (chosen by Leesa I have to admit!) Charlie Maisey said "you've got a good chance with those there boyo".

My long carrots weren't the biggest you'll ever see but they carried their weight well down, were uniform and nice and clean. I even got to have my photo taken by Medwyn. Hope he got my good side!

Cue Jaws theme.....

.....just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water! Further to my post mentioning Graeme Watson it appears he too was celebrating 25 years of marriage this year. He was in New Zealand and Australia and had to cut back his growing drastically this season. His carrots at Harrogate weren't a patch on his normal exhibits and now I know why. No doubt he'll be back to his usual standard next season . If it's half as good as his National Championship 2007 winning long carrots then we're in for a treat.

My wife can be quite cruel at times!

Trugtastic

By popular demand here are some views of Leesa's trug which secured us 3rd place for an annoying 4th year running. We just can't seem to do any better despite this being the best one we've done by a long chalk. Most years we've lost out to a Mr Porter and Alan Young who have always contested first and second. Whilst we did manage to beat Alan this year a Mr T Smith who beat us into second at Harrogate decided to come down to Malvern and took the honours meaning we stayed in 3rd place. This class has really improved over the last few years and there were a good half dozen or more entries to go with the dozen or so at Harrogate so people really are having a go. Jim Pearson in particular was amazed at the standard of this class at Malvern.

I've told Leesa she can give up now if she wishes but she enjoys doing them and is secretly determined to get that elusive red ticket I reckon. A little tip.....the leeks in my trug were oblong in shape as they had gone to seed months ago! By turning them on their sides and burying them no-one can tell!

Malvern 2012 Part 5

After last year's National at Llangollen I had a cretin-attack and stupidly announced that I intended to put up a large collection at Malvern. Once I looked into the logistics of doing this I quickly came to the conclusion that I just couldn't be f*cking arsed. The amount of metalwork, woodwork, cloth and support stands that I would have needed to take with me would have required the hiring of a van. The sheer effort, expense and time involved in putting up a collection of 6 wasn't viable to me so I quickly abandoned any ambition to do a collection in the future. Fair play to the 5 that did, with Midland Branch Chairman John Branham coming out on top in 'Class 1' this year.

The 5 Branches each put up a display of vegetables where imaginations could run riot. A few years ago these displays were very much like Class 1 except that the 'dishes' of vegetables were donated by several members from that branch. Consequently it looked like two pretty identical classes and the public were confused so an idea for a less fussy, more floral display was put forward and the stands are certainly well liked by the public. I struggled to get photos because of the volume of people admiring them. Winners this year were Midland Branch.....

......but I did like Scottish Branch's display which came 3rd. Being half-Scottish myself (the scottish bits being my hairy back, arse and short stumpy legs) I donated some of my mouse melons to their cause and I think it was probably these that got them elevated up from fourth! I await my share of the prize money!

They say that it's not the winners that make a successful championships but the people who don't win and yet still compete and have a go. If that is true then the success of this year's National Championships is entirely down to me! When I staged my french beans 'Prince' I was hopeful of a ticket but alas this was not to be, although my new lover Marcus Powell did manage a superb 3rd. I was struggling to keep them fresh for Malvern having just missed having them ready for Harrogate so I shall make sure I sow them a week earlier for next year's National at Harrogate when I feel sure I am bound to win. Andrew Jones took the honours at Malvern adding to his win in the parsnip class.

That's just about it now as far as Malvern 2012 goes and I'll leave you with some photos from Mo Robinson's camera. Since she called me a twat across a crowded car par on Saturday morning I feel no shame in nicking her photos. Now i'm turning my attention to the Westminster Show next Tuesday morning. I've entered a whole rook of classes as usual but I already know several won't make it, my cherry tomatoes in particular as Oscar has bloody eaten them all! If you're in the Gainsborough/Lincoln area this Saturday then get along to Sturton-by-Stow's 125th annual show. It's always a good afternoon out and i'm only sorry I'm unable to attend again myself this year. Meanwhile, an interesting university study has shown that 100% of car crashes are a woman's fault. 55% of the time she's driving and the other 45% of the time she's walking down the street dressed provocatively.

Malvern 2012 Part 4

After winning tomatoes at Malvern in 2010 against 30 odd entries I haven't won a bloody tomato class since! The plants have grown very strangely this season and I struggled to find 12 fruits to put down at Malvern although in the end I didn't think they looked too bad, certainly not in the dark when I staged them!

Fluctuations between daytime and nighttime temperatures were to blame along with the almost total lack of sunshine at times here in the Costa del Midlands. It was no surprise that the winning set came from a grower towards the south of the country, admittedly one of the country's very top showmen Derek Aldred with this very nice set.

I'm also not convinced that the soil in my greenhouse border hasn't contributed to some problems, so with that in mind I shall be replacing it during the Winter months rather than giving them a few 'winter floods'. Emptying out a couple of tonnes of soil and replacing it is always a ballache of a job but it's been 4 years since I did it so it's about due. I will also empty out a trench before planting next May and fill with M3 compost to make sure the plants don't go short of food. Someone suggested I ditch Cedrico and try Zenith available from Medwyn's as they'd had success with it. I'll take that suggestion on board but for now I'll stick to Cedrico as when it grows right it looks great with its long, spidery calyces.

I had entered the large onion class at Malvern but for some reason my bulbs are still bloody green even though they've been up for the best part of 7 weeks now. I've had the fan on them, then covered them in dark cloth as the nights grew colder but they still steadfastly refuse to ripen, although they're still firm bulbs. I'm at a loss as to what I've done wrong as i've always been able to get my onions a nice colour by mid-September at the latest. John Jones won this year.

Ray Spooner won the 250g to 1.5kg onion class and whilst a couple of the bulbs were a bit tide-marked they were nevertheless a very well-matched set.

Sherie Plumb won the 250g class with Toughball.

I notice in Medwyn's GN column this week that Sherie advises she sows her onions a week after Malvern to have them ready for her July shows. This is dedication but quite frankly I intend to forget about veg shortly until the New Year. You have to have a break from it in my opinion and besides I want to try and get the plot in better shape and get some construction work done ready for a polytunnel in the Spring.

There weren't many caulis at this year's National with David Peel taking the honours.

I believe it was David's second National win as he won french beans last year at Llangollen. I shall be trying again with caulis next season, growing them in a raised bed where I grew my celery this season. David also had an excellent Harrogate Championships  a couple of weeks back winning several of the spud classes, but Sherie Plumb was back on form at Malvern winning both the coloured and spud classes. Just when you think people have the beating of her the clever minx gets things back on track with a vengeance.

The Millennium Class always attracts plenty of entries and it attracted more than ever this year with John Smiles coming out on top for his first ever win at National level. John has had a good year, also winning the Northern Horticultural Society's Master Gardener Class at Harrogate where you staged a vase of flowers, a pot plant, a dish of veg and a dish of fruit.

I actually came last in the Millennium (someone has to!), my pathetic globe beet and mismatched tomatoes letting me down badly. I really did struggle to get globe beet germinated this season for some strange reason. I usually have hundreds of them growing away in several rows no problem whatsoever. Despite this, the Millennium is one class I shall be going all out to try and get a ticket in at Harrogate 2013 when it is the Northern Branch's turn to host it. It was introduced as a class anyone could grow for, the thinking being that you don't need any special set-up to grow all 5 crops, although after the summer we've NOT had then I suggest a heated and lighted greenhouse is required to grow tomatoes, small onions and globe beet!

Meanwhile at the Labour Party Conference Ed Milliband has promised to rebuild Britain as one nation. It will be called f***ing Poland!