Malvern 2012 Part 3

I was really disappointed with the long carrot class at Malvern and wished I'd not put all my good ones in at the National Carrot Championships at Harrogate as I feel I'd have been in the tickets. When I visited the 2007 National at Malvern Graeme Watson's winning long carrots were breath-taking, certainly the best I've ever seen, and there were several other great sets there that day. (Whatever happened to Graeme Watson?)

This year Bob Oliver took the honours with this winning set.

I don't know Bob personally but in my humble opinion this set wouldn't have got a look in previous years, although there weren't any outstanding sets so I don't think the judge had a great deal to work with. These were quite small and a bit rough-skinned but it just goes to show you have to be in it to win it. The stump carrots on the other hand must have given the judge a nightmare as there were well over 30 entries on the benches. Medwyn made reference to this at the prize giving that many of the entries out of the tickets would have won in other years, there really were lots of crackingly good sets. I put a set in last year that was unlucky not to get a ticket and if anything I put a set in this year that was even better but I didn't stand a chance. A first time National Champion was George Graham on his 67th birthday and he was rightly chuffed as punch. As you can see Medwyn is still a menace to bathroom scales everywhere!

Poor old Mr Stocks....he couldn't repeat last year's triumph and got another 2nd.

On the Malvern side of the tent Mark Perry who supports Liverscum but isn't a bad lad considering won with these nice Sweet Candles. Sorry mate.....the photo quality on these is shite.

I actually benched a set of Dorian peas on the Malvern side in the any other veg class. I didn't take a photo unfortunately as they were a magnificent set and didn't deserve to be thrown across the marquee by Mr Stocks at the end. Just to prove that I talk complete bollocks about peas when I say no-one this far south can grow Show Perfection this late in the year, the winning set came from my pal Mark Roberts who is another 30 or so miles south of me.

Mark had an excellent championships, coming second to John Branham in the large collection, 2nd in the celery and winning the 3x2 collection class. I keep threatening to go and visit his set-up and I really must make time to do it before too long. I'm told it's very impressive.

I was pretty chuffed with my set of 3 although it only come equal 17th out of 22 entries!

Sherie Plumb has dominated pickling shallots for years but was beaten this year by another lady Clare Walters. At prizegiving Dave Thornton couldn't read his own writing and announced her as Clark Walters. Prick.

John Jones from Wales won the large onion class as well as the long beet class for the second year running.

I was hoping to bench a set of long beet but after pulling the first couple on Thursday morning I soon realised they were an utter pile of shite, the huge tops not translating into impressive roots. I snapped the fuckers at 2 and a half foot anyway. I shall not be wasting any more time growing long beet in the future, using the drums for more long carrots instead. I can only admire someone who can extract roots like this.

We had a lot of fun on the Saturday afternoon as several of us met up with our fruit cakes and vegetable animals. Leesa was adjudged to have the best fruit cake which is the first time she's ever beaten me. This was only because I made a mistake with the recipe and published one that I'd never baked with before. We decided to allow all exhibitors to stand around Fiona Shenfield while she judged the class, baying and hollering as she did so. I believe we may have hit onto something and all veg shows should be judged in this gladiatorial manner also!

Mo Robinson won the veggie animal class with a cat fashioned from a red onion.....

.....although Frank Taylor's spud spider was a triumph of engineering as he was heard drilling the holes in the spud for the spider's legs in the hotel bathroom that morning. Ian Stocks' shitting sheep got second but really should have been NAS'd as the class was for a vegetable ANIMAL (Singular!!)

My own marrow and onion snail was controversially unplaced although dressed in that garb it was the least of my fucking worries!

Requiem in P minor

I think I'm going to have to admit defeat in my quest to get a set of peas benched at Malvern this year. My hat goes off to anyone south of Yorkshire who can grow a set in late September as it really does seem to be an impossible task for me and proof if ever it were needed that peas are well worth all of the 20 points allocated to them in the NVS Judges' Guide. Many years ago Medwyn did a series of Garden News articles on the sowing dates top growers used for a late August and a late September show, asking 6 exhibitors from all around the country, and John Branham who lives in Aylesbury left the date for sowing peas for the late show blank as he considered it a complete waste of time trying. I now concur. The Scots are pretty much unbeatable when it comes to peas so I shall leave it to the last two years' champions to battle it out again, my pals Ian Simpson and Ian Stocks (below), who (along with his wife Linda) sent me and Leesa a lovely silver anniversary 'e-card' today. It's not actually until the 29th but appreciated all the same. And get your bloody hair cut before Malvern Ian!

Despite growing a mildew resistant pea called Dorian the plants are well behind what I'd expect them to be and are currently about 18" tall ....if that. They don't look particularly healthy either, although there is no sign of mildew. From now on I'm just going to grow some peas against netting the old fashioned way for eating purposes only in June/July and use the space for something else later such as lettuce/caulis/overwintering leeks. It means I will no doubt be subject to some not inconsiderable ridicule at Malvern but if you can't take it you shouldn't dish it out, as that means you're just a cunt and believe me there are plenty of those in the veg showing world. Don't forget the old saying.....

One veg I am starting to get the hang of growing are long beet ('Regar'), and I may well grow more than these couple of drums in future years. Biggest problem is hacking back the grape vine growing along the top of the fence above them...but that's another story.

I didn't sow these until early June as my early May sowing last year grew way too big, and the tops were like tree trunks come September. Thus far I have large healthy tops and the roots are a couple of inches diameter at the top and with 6 weeks to Malvern I think I might yet have a crack at staging a set of 5. If the colourful stalks are anything to by I'm on the right track.

Rather than growing them in drums of just free draining sand they are filled with a mix of sand, soil and compost that retains more moisture, and they are given a decent watering every three or 4 days. This should stop the twisting effect that I found 'Regar' prone to when I used to grow it. You don't want huge roots on the showbench, and roots about 3" diameter look more refined on the showbench, providing you can get the whole tap root out which is more of a task with long beet that parsnips or long carrots. However, I've been given some pointers on how to achieve this without snapping it so I'll report on that when it happens.



Gotta fly now....I think Jesus is trying to tell me something......

Challenging times

There is absolutely no doubt that this season is like no other I have ever experienced. Aside from the weather I've been having unprecedented problems getting certain seeds to germinate, particularly globe beetroot which I have resown 3 times now and they simply refuse to germinate outside in any number. They normally grow like weeds! It can't be the seed, as I've used three different batches from 3 different suppliers so i'm at a headscratching loss to explain it. When I first popped them in at the height of the summer deluges I didn't expect any problem as the soil was permanently wet. Perhaps it was just too wet and the knobbly seed simply rotted? In desperation I sowed a couple of rows in one of my greenhouse borders and these were much more successful, proving that you need warm moist soil for good germination, not a cold, muddy swimming pool!

My 250g onions are also becoming a concern. I expected them to be ready for harvest around now and hoped they would get to 82mm diameter, but they seem to have stopped at around 65mm. The foliage has gone yellow and to all intents the plants are telling me 'that's it'. They just sat there for weeks on end as the rain lashed down, and once we had a few sultry days the plants seemed to swell out a bit then decide it was harvest time.
My first bags of Kestrel potatoes have been an unmitigated disaster. In normal seasons this bed is ideal as it acts as a bit of a sump for water draining from the surrounding land, ideal for thirsty spuds, but there is a limit and this year I fear they've just sat in waterlogged soil.

Last week the foliage went yellow and it was still barely a foot high so I had no choice but to harvest them. I now have a couple of buckets marble sized Kestrel which is about as much use in the kitchen as I am. If anyone has any clue how best to cook Kestrel let me know as my wife has nothing but utter contempt for them.

I was hoping to enter the Millennium Class at Malvern but seeing as I need 250g onions, potatoes and globe beet it looks like that plan is on hold for another year. My tomatoes are still not looking that great either.

I've given up on my blanch leeks, despite my wife insisting that the seed heads 'look pretty'! I planted 23 and so far at least 16 have gone to seed and the remainder look as if they're about to. This means I will have to be more reliant on celery for collections this season, a desperate measure for someone who until 2 seasons ago was without doubt the World's Worst celery grower! However, I learnt a lot about this crop last year with a little help from my friends, and so far I'm happy with how my plants are progressing. They certainly are one crop that should thrive in this summer's weather. I sowed a little later so that I had fresher plants, and they are just starting to bulk out now, having gone onto an 18" cardboard collar a couple of weeks ago. The soil had some seaweed meal worked into it and I've given them regular feeds of nitrate of soda and calcium nitrate and will now be switching to Chempak no. 8 until harvest time, as well as a few applications of soot water which is reputed to bring out the colour in the foliage. I shall also be giving them shitloads of water from now on, as when I harvested them last season the soil was surprisingly dry despite daily drenchings, proving to me that you can never overwater celery. And in the end I applied Slugclear to the soil despite the warnings of death on the packet as I simply couldn't allow the little snotfuckers anywhere near my plants.

My 'Regar' long beet have motored well despite a very late sowing and with two months to showtime i'm more confident I will have these the refined shape they're supposed to be rather than the weighty monsters I produced last year, and I'm certainly happy with the uniformity of the foliage. Last year 3 or 4 stations produced specimens that swamped the others. There are 14 plants growing in these two drums and I may have a set of 3 to take with me to the RHS Westminster Show in October. The NVS call for 5 in their National Championships which is too many for me and many other growers so no doubt there'll be very few entries as usual (dig dig). Long beet like moist soil at all times, and my drums are therefore filled with an equal mix of sand, soil and compost to retain more moisture.

And last night I planted my 'Dorian' peas with the National at the end of September in mind, 27 days after they were sown. They were all set against 8' canes 10" apart and any tendrils were snipped off. As soon as the plants get their roots down and perk up a bit I'll start tying to the canes every couple of inches. As it was another wet evening I also gave a liberal scattering of slug pellets. It will be interesting to see if 'Dorian' is as mildew resistant as it says on the tin!

Triumph and disaster

At last we've had a couple of dry days and that hot yellowy thing in the sky even put in a few sporadic appearances. It only served to illuminate a growing disaster on the leek front, as I went through the bed and counted 10 that had definitely gone to seed. This equates to just under half my crop and if any more go then I won't be making many entries of leeks at shows this Autumn. They certainly haven't gone short of water and I think in view of tales of woe being recounted to me from all four corners of the land this is most probably weather related. A very warm Spring followed by a deluge of water over the last month or so, continuously low-ish temperatures, dull, miserable days have all contributed to sending the plants out of kilter so they don't know whether they're coming or going. You have to be philosophical about it and at least we've got some early leeks for the kitchen now!

One of my four cucumber plants wilted over night and closer examination revealed a rotting stem close to soil level. This could be cucumber wilt which I was recently fascinated to learn is a virus that overwinters in the belly of a little striped beetle so it could be that I lose the other three plants as the beetle traverses across the greenhouse border. I haven't spotted any beetles and to be fair when i've lost plants in the past it has only ever been one rather than all of them, so perhaps I just have a considerate little chappie who wants to be my pet? When I find him I shall pop him in a box and call him John.

I had a few Sungold cherry toms ripening in the conservatory. HAD! The conservatory is temporarily an Oscar-free zone as I also have my onions in there for now. Whilst Leesa and the kids were watching a recent deluge from the conservatory door, unsupervised little fingers were helping themselves to my ripe Sungolds behind their backs. Quite funny now I grant you, but woe betide if it happens in 2 months time......

I said a few days ago that I was going to leave my shallots in a pile and leave them to it, but the recent cool, moist weather meant that the tops just weren't drying out properly and I was concerned they could all rot if I didn't do something about it. So I topped and tailed them, having first checked that any decent ones had rounded up and any flat sides had disappeared. I was still left with quite a quantity of split and misshapen ones that will be used for pickling or cooking.

However, all is not doom and gloom. I have a decent selection of pickling shallots this year although I doubt very much I'll be giving Sherie Plumb, Andrew Jones, Ray Bassett or Ray Sale sleepless nights. Despite harvesting at 27mm I still had quite a few that swelled to larger than the 30mm maximum, a few that just about went through the ring with some pressure, and others that were evidently still at the 27mm mark. Weird.

And my Dorian peas have germinated so I'm hugely looking forward to showing Andy Murray how to beat the odds at Malvern in September. Remember Kipling Andy! I may have joked about winning the National with peas last year, but this year I really, really mean it.

Pipe dreams

Whilst relaxing over a cuppa the other day Leesa asked me the following question. If I had a choice which crop would I most like in my wildest dreams to be National Champion with? Apart from the huge unlikelihood of it ever happening, she was very surprised when I said without hesitation...parsnips! She was sure I would say long carrots and so asked me to explain myself, and I think it's just that since I exhibited parsnips that won best in show at Leicester two years running I've always felt that along with tomatoes, they were the two crops I was most likely to get anywhere near a ticket at National level. As parsnips are 20-pointers they therefore trump tomatoes which are 18 pointers under NVS rules.

To be in with a shout you need skins that are as unmarked as possible. At Leicester in 2009 I pulled a set of three 'Pinnacle' that absolutely gleamed and didn't have the slightest blemish but I've struggled to repeat that since (although length and girth are excellent) and my thoughts on carrot fly damage have been discussed in previous postings. I shall be scattering more phorate granules around the crowns shortly to catch the second wave of carrot fly, having hopefully seen off the first hatchings in May. At Harrogate my parsnip scored the highest points in the collections, beating even the great Peter Clark so if I can get a matching set of 5 then why shouldn't I think about entering this year's National? Certainly, the foliage on this year's crop are looking as healthy and uniform as I've had in a long time. The variety I favour these days is 'Polar' although I understand this variety will not be available from next year.

I'd lost interest in growing a lot of long carrots this season after suffering a few disappointing seasons, but the few that I am growing are looking good so far. Last year I had enormous foliage but this didn't equate to huge roots. In contrast, Dave Thornton had some of the sparsest foliage I've ever witnessed and yet when he uncovered a crown they were huge. If I hadn't seen it for myself I wouldn't have believed it, so it just goes to show that with long roots large tops aren't everything. I'm growing 18 stations in 3 drums and I'm happy with this so far.

It certainly helps with condition growing them in a polythene surrounded wooden framework with an enviromesh top as the rain can still get in but nasties cannot. And the cossetted atmosphere keeps them nice and snug and away from any battering winds that could snap the leaves. I'll be very interested to find out if my simplified mix (F2S and calcified seaweed) gives me bigger specimens this season.

I wish I hadn't bothered trying long carrots in pipes in the greenhouse again. Watering is quite awkward and I do keep forgetting to do it so I'll no doubt end up with large roots again that are forked about 2' down. I also had a few that developed double crowns during the May heatwave and these will no doubt have oval shaped tops and be no good for showing, that is if they don't go to seed which I think is more likely. I could have used this space much more productively.

My stumps are still growing away very nicely, and the ones in this bed with polythene sides are growing too well if anything, as the tops are fair bursting out of the enviromesh top.

With over two months to go until my first show I am hopeful of having some decent stumps to show. As well as this bed I have a larger bed of roots where the foliage is only half the size, grown in a frame with enviromesh all the way round, so it just shows the difference of having polythene sides as they were both sown close together.

A couple of nights ago I planted 4 'Carmen' cucumber plants in the greenhouse border. Last year I tried planting in grobags on a raised wooden platform and this turned out to be a bit of disaster. This year I've gone back to my tried and tested method with one slight change. I've put a bottomless plant pot around the plant which will be filled with more compost when the plant is well up the cane, and another pot will be placed on top of this and the process repeated, encouraging the development of more roots from the main stem of the plant to give a stronger plant in theory. This is the way Sherie Plumb grows hers apparently so I shall be giving a whirl to see how we get on. I won't be allowing any fruits to form until the plant has reached at least 3-4' tall and I can start training it horizontally along wires, giving the plants plenty of nitrogen feed in the meantime, as well as soot water to enhance the colour.

The square pots in the blue trays are my one and only sowing of peas, sown yesterday evening (86 days from Malvern), the variety being Dorian. The usual show winning variety is 'Show Perfection' but trying to grow this variety in England in August and September is akin to trying to catch a fart in a colander as they will undoubtedly succumb to mildew. Dorian seems to have some resistance to mildew and is my only hope of benching a set of peas in late September, which is something I am determined to do even if it kills me. They will be smaller than 'SP', and have less peas in, but as you only get 3 points for size according to NVS rules then assuming you have good shape, condition and uniformity then in theory there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to compete against the usual Scottish contingent with their blemish free sets of large SP's. In fact, during the writing of this small paragraph I have managed to convince myself once again, that come September I will be crowned National Pea Champion. Proof if ever it was needed that whilst I get older with each passing day, and ever more handsome.....i'm still stupid.

Picture of Dorian/grey time for Scottish rugger

After the England Rugby team quite magnificently turned up in Scotland's back yard and trounced them at the weekend, my thoughts have turned to doing a similar thing at Malvern in September with peas. Whilst I shall be attempting to grow the variety everyone has to beat, namely Show Perfection, if I'm being honest I have as much chance of benching peas at a late September Show as coming across a tax collector with an eye socket you don't want to stick a knife into.




Therefore, I have purchased a packet of the variety Dorian which I have grown before and which Ian Simpson reckons is very mildew resistant. It has absolutely no chance of winning tickets at a National but my main aim is simply to get a set onto the benches so I'm probably going to give this one a go. Dan grew it last season and he was picking fresh pods with 10 peas in well into September just by letting them grow naturally with no tying to canes or pinching out the tendrils etc. so it may be worth a shot. If any breeder manages to cross this variety with Show Perfection the mildew problems of that particular variety might become a thing of the past for anyone south of Glasgow with an aversion to smiling and who doesn't own a beard the size of a badger's arse.

Last weekend we had several inches of snow meaning the sand emptying of the parsnip drums came to a complete standstill. With several nights of freezing weather forecast I am now well behind compared to last year but as the National was in late August and this year it's the very last weekend in September I'm not too worried. The first decent weather weekend means I shall have to get cracked on and complete the task so that the sand has time to settle. Invariably you have to top the barrels up with more sand and I have known the surface drop by up to 6" so you need to have the job done several weeks before you bore your holes. If you bore your holes straight after filling then the bore holes get distorted as the sand drops and gives you roots with a bit of a kink in them, although they are uniform kinks nonetheless. Believe me, it's happened to me!



As long as I'm in a position to bore my holes by mid-March I'll be happy. As I chit my seed indoors I will be placing seed that has already germinated by late March and green leaves are generally showing by early April, bang on target. Sowing in situ, very often in very cold weather means the seed can just sit there doing nothing for several weeks. Chitting buys you up to 4 weeks in my opinion and takes the worry out of wondering whether your seed has simply rotted off. I need to buy the compost and fertilisers for the mixes in the next couple of weeks so I can be getting on with them. However, my attempts to buy a cheap concrete mixer for the task off ebay has failed. Even the shittiest, most caked-up, second-hand mixers are fetching big money and seeing as my friendly taxman has decided it would be hilarious to extract all of my money from my wallet via my rectal passage I shall have to make do with mixing by hand again this season.

Bullshit boys are back

I haven't seen it yet but apparently my photo is once again in the January edition of the NVS magazine Simply Vegetables, prompting Dave Thornton today to call me (and I quote) an "arse licking, good for nothing,attention seeking twat". I'd sue for defamation of character if it wasn't for the very minor technicality of him telling the truth! I can only assume someone has set me up again. When will people learn their lesson? It isn't set in stone that I have to wait until the next Smithyveg Awards you know!




Anyways, back to the business of the year now that all that Christmassy nonsense is out of the way. I am happy to announce that the 2012 BBC event will be contested in the 3x20 pointer class in the NVS Northern Branch Championships at Harrogate in September. It will be changed this year after complaints from the Pennine Sausage Jockeys that they couldn't possibly beat me in the 6x1 collection and could we make it easier for them? Awww bless. Anyway, i'm a fair man so we had a committee meeting....when I say meeting, Dan suggested it and me and Bastow said yeah ok....so it's now set in stone. Same rules as before, 10 quid in, winner takes all including a year's bragging rights. Which will be me....of course. So if you think you're good enough to put me back in my box and wipe the stupid smirk off my face then make sure you enter. Below is a previous winner of the class.

This is a good class to enter at a higher level as you obviously only need to find a pair of matching specimens and I entered this class at both Llangollen and Malvern last year. I won didly squit but it did allow me to compare my produce against the very best at very little 'outlay' in terms of the quantity of specimens I had to pull or harvest. I'd suggest to schedule makers of village shows that this would also be a good class to introduce if entries in your larger collection classes have dwindled over the years.



Tomorrow I will be potting up my shallots if the weather stays as mild as it currently is but I'll be doing things slightly different this year. Each shallot will be potted up into 3" square pots as i've always done, into good compost with a bit of added Vitax Q4, but I will bury them to about 3/4 depth rather than just nestling them on the surface as I have in the past. I will also be scraping the base plate until it 'gives' a bit of moisture and dipping this in dry Rovral powder. Both these tips come from multiple National Champion David "pot/kettle/black" Thornton, who is convinced that dipping in Rovral prevents losses from botrytis during storage. We shall see as I only left myself 15 bulbs of my own stock this season due to a 60% loss rate and a few giveaways, although he has kindly offered me some spares from his own stock which I shall be collecting from him tomorrow afternoon.



I have also grown my first crop of the season in the form of a spiffing new beard. I got to thinking once again that several of my scottish friends sport varying degrees of facial fungus so it got me wondering whether it might be a useful tool in attracting mildew away from my peas, and that climate really has nothing to do with it. I'm told I look like a cross between the Yorkshire Ripper, Zac Dingle and Baldrick, but it's got to be worth a shot and it has the added advantage that I sometimes find bits of leftover food in it.

The first questions are in!

If any of my more esteemed & experienced chums have anything to add please feel free to comment.


1) How do you remove the tomato from the plant, with calyx attached---I suspect it should be obvious, but I don't know!.
No great technique required to this, just a bit of care. Make sure you have a compartmentalised carry box of some description with soft tissues to protect the fruits once picked. Support the tomato as if you were cradling one of your own bollocks, then snip the stalk of the calyx past the 'knuckle' with sharp scissors. Careful not to pierce the skin with the end of the scissors. I like to leave the stalk as long a stalk as I can get as I think this stands out and I know this was the method favoured by Charlie Maisey, but it's only a personal preference. Cut just past the knuckle if you prefer.

2)Is there an optimum pea size? I didn't grow many last year but intend to grow more next season. Many of my pods when left on the plant at maturity resulted in the peas showing bulges on the outside of the pod. Is this expected and necessary to be successful on the show bench?
The short answer to this is no there isn't an optimum pea size. The NVS Judes Guide states pods should be long, fresh, smooth well-filled pods with good bloom and colour. In practice that means getting 9 (or more - see schedule) pods that are as large as possible for the variety without pea bulge (this is considered a fault therefore) or going over on skin condition. At National level you need pods with 11 or 12 peas in them although at local level 10 would be very good. But bear in mind that size only carries 4 points out of the total 20 on offer and as with most show vegetables is a relatively small proportion of the points on offer. Condition scores up to 6 points, uniformity 4 points, fullness of pod 4 points and colour 2 points so for local level just grow a mildew tolerant variety as unless you live in Scotland or the North you will struggle to exhibit 'Show Perfection' past mid-August. If you have a variety that only has 8 peas in, but you can get nice clean pods benched, all the same size with no bulge then go for it. Peas need to be picked at their optimum condition, and they only last in a perfect state for 5 or 6 days so you need to time your row to make sure you have plenty to choose from. Show Perfection takes approx. 80-85 days from sowing to showing depending on location and climactic conditions during growth.

3)I'm hoping to show at some local shows next year. My difficulty is to choose what veg to show and how many of each individual veg' to grow to give me a chance. (i.e. to get a uniform set of 3 do I need to choose from 10? Also sowing intervals to give progression...... 4 weekly?


The scoring system and detail of what is expected, uniformity, size, condition & how this effects the scoring would also be useful.
Right, quite a few questions in this one. First of all scoring systems. You need to find out under what rules your show is being judged, whether it's RHS (more usual for village shows) or NVS rules. There are subtle differences between them but nothing to worry about if you concentrate on quality and uniformity above all else. Try and purchase a copy of The Horticultural Show Handbook 2008 ISBN 9781902896830 which you will find enormously useful if you're just starting out.

All vegetables are given a points value depending on how easy they are to grow, so you will find the hardest to grow well are termed '20 pointers' and include long carrots, parsnips, leeks, potatoes, large onions, caulis, long beet and celery. Other veg are deemed easy to grow well, such as small fruited tomatoes (12 points), pumpkins (10 points) and radishes (10 points). These points are broken down into 4 or 5 sections usually, so if we look at parsnips for instance under the NVS rules it is awarded a maximum of 6 points for condition, 4 for uniformity, 4 for shape, 3 for size and 3 for colour. Virtually without exception all vegetables will score highly if in good condition, although i'm afraid you need to be prepared for an untrained judge being blinded by size at a small village show.


If you're doing shows for the first time try not to be too ambitious. Ask yourself what you have personally grown well in the past and try and concentrate on these. In my opinion a good starting point for local shows would be tomatoes, globe beet, onions from sets, courgettes, potatoes, french beans, cucumbers, lettuce, peppers, cabbages and maybe short carrots grown in sandy raised beds. Don't get hung up on growing the biggest, but rather try and get matching specimens that are grown to perfection with few signs (if any) of damage from pest or disease. Really get close to your plants and learn how they grow, and try and spot any problems before they get too far out of hand. Remember, a perfectly grown small to medium set of onions can beat a huge set that is disease or pest damaged, non-matching or poorly shaped. You need to give yourself plenty of vegetables to choose from but don't go so mad that you can't maintain steady growth. It's better to mollycoddle a few to perfection than grow a field of mediocre specimens. With experience you'll be able to grow fewer specimens and still make good matching exhibits. Certain vegetables are quicker to grow to maturity such as beetroot which usually take 12-15 weeks. However, I have had them reach grapefruit size in 6 weeks so sow a row per week from mid-May until mid-June and you should cover the show season.

And so I face the final curtain!

Derby Show staging in the morning and I pulled some very good globe beet a couple of nights ago. After washing, getting off all the fine root hairs, carefully rubbing off any corkiness around the shoulders with the rough side of a scourer and carefully snipping off any side roots from the main central tap I left them to soak in bucket of water with some vinegar and a dash of salt. I find this really brings out the colour of the roots and indeed I've had a good year again, winning at Westminster, coming third at Malvern plus a couple of local show wins. I also have some spare roots which look really good in a trug when turned upside down with the tap sticking upwards, and Derby has a trug class this year for the first time I believe so I (Leesa!) will make an effort to enter that one.




I think I've really found the key to good globe beet the past couple of seasons, growing them in raised beds that has a good depth of crumbly compost/soil mix. The deep bed in question is actually where I grow my leeks and onions and which has been well cultivated for several years now. After my shallots are pulled in June I give the soil a nitrogen fertiliser boost and sow my seeds in drills over several weeks to cover the show period. I have other beds in old half-oil drums and an old water tank which yield good globe beet for the early shows. However, the beet in the water tank starts well enough but then wilts quite badly and i'm thinking the soil gets too warm in the steel container.



All my remaining carrots and parsnips have now been pulled so I'll have a reasonable set of stumps, a nice clean (if a little small) set of long carrots and a canker free dish of parsnips. I've managed to cobble together a set of 6 tomatoes for a Top Tray entry, I should be able to bench a decent pair of long leeks and 3 or 4 collections which are all for single specimens only. In the any other veg class I'll be entering some turnips, lettuce and sweet peppers which are growing in pots and which I moved into my conservatory a couple of weeks ago in case any frost caught them.



And that will be that for another season, but my preparations for next season have already started. I've ordered 25 blanch leeks 'Pendle Improved' from Dave Metcalfe which I'll be collecting in early December. I shall put one of my Derby leeks down to seed for next season but more on that later. You need to be looking at the seed catalogues and getting your orders in as early as you can to avoid disappointment and I'll say from experience that you should make a plan of what you're going to grow where and when, so that you only order what you can physically grow. I've done far too much this season as I've attempted to try and win more tickets than Dave T, an attempt that seems doomed to failure going into tomorrow's final showdown. I've grown crops that I wouldn't normally give the time of day such as turnips, pak choi, spring onions and many other minor veg but never again. I shall be concentrating on the 18 and 20 pointers for next year as I attempt to stage a large collection at the Malvern National. Plus, after researching the subject in 2011 I shall be going all out to win peas at next year's National. This year was merely a practice run.

Lockdown

Right then, I won't be on here all next week as I need to spend my precious time making sure all my exhibits are prepared to the optimum for the National Championships. What i'm trying to say is that I can't be wasting my time talking to you lot! And i'm also treating the whole experience as a mini-holiday with some walking planned for the Sunday.




I've over-ambitiously entered 14 classes at Llangollen namely;



White spuds

Coloured spuds

NVS Sherine

NVS Amour

French beans

Runner beans

Shallots

Pickling shallots

Peas (yeah right!)

Long carrots

Stump carrots

Parsnips

250g onions

3 x 2 class (20 pointers)



If I actually manage to get 6 of those on the bench I'll be a happy man. I'm still miffed that I made such a dog's dinner of my tomatoes as they would have offered me the best chance of a ticket...but there's always next year! Therefore, I have zero expectations in terms of tickets but consider this a must-do exercise in order to compare my stuff against the very best growers in the land. A single 5th place ticket would have me creaming my pants and kissing Dave Thornton and Ian Stocks which is highly unlikely (thank f***!) when you look at the cast list of suspects, but as long as i'm not disgraced then all will be well with the World.



I shall certainly be taking at least two entries of spuds and will be interested to see how my skin finishes compare to the likes of spud specialists such as Sherie Plumb and John Bebbington, whose entertaining talk I attended last night at North East Derby DA. I already have sets of 5 Casablanca and 5 NVS Sherine set aside, with my Kestrel and NVS Amour to be emptied out this Sunday and graded into sets. I am absolutely itching to empty them out and have a look but you MUST resist any urge to do this as you have to give the skins time to set. I stopped watering two weeks ago, cut the haulms off 3 nights ago, then got the bags into the garage two nights ago so that no more rain can get at them. Most growers are tending to try and get the bags as dry as possible towards the end of their growth to give them spuds in the best possible condition. Ideally i'd like to leave them longer (7-10 days after lifting) before emptying out for the skins to set but if i'm gentle I should be ok. They'll certainly be set by next Friday evening when i'll be washing them. I had a sneaky peak into the bags and couldn't spot any scab on the Kestrel or Amour so I'm hopeful of also getting an entry into the coloured potato class (with Kestrel) and the NVS Amour class sponsored by JBA.



Now then, about these peas..........

Go go goch

With my first ever foray into the upper eschelons of the National Championships now less than three weeks away I've just about finished my transportation boxes so that I will at least look as if I know what i'm doing when I turn up, rather than some ill-prepared oik. In truth i've been promising myself I'd do something like this for several years after many near flattened veg experiences and stressful journeys to shows. I now have separate wooden boxes for shallots, 250g onions, peas, cucumbers and tomatoes. Before Llangollen I am also going to be making myself a larger, longer box for my long carrots and parsnips and will be trying to make it in such a way that the other boxes fit inside it so that I only have one box to carry into the show, although I may need the Welsh Guards to help me carry it! Now I can drive to shows like Lewis Hamilton rather than Lady Hamilton, knowing my veg is safely packed and cannot roll about or have other objects fall on them. It will be a huge relief.

As for the veg I intend to take it would appear that I was a liiiiiittle hasty threatening the Scots with total pea domination. Despite my marestail brew and suffering a bollocking off the missus for using her best saucepan to produce it my peas have started to get mildew! I will now have to eat humble pie in Llangollen and polish Mr Stocks' shoes with my tongue each morning at the hotel. He has told me to pick off any mildew infected leaves and hope that it doesn't get to the peas before the show. Personally, I think the mildew will win the race.

I've almost tied all my shallots but I have a dilemma with the picklers. I have 18 from which to get my set of 15 but I fear one or two may be going a bit soft and I don't want to risk a 'NAS' (not as schedule) card at Llangollen. I have some other really good shaped solid bulbs that are measuring about 30.4mm on my digital micrometer so I'm going to try and get an NVS shallot ring to see if they pass through. They have to pass through easily under their own weight and the use of a hammer to get them through is strictly frowned upon apparently. I'm hoping that the ring is machined to over 30mm and as I noticed several winning sets at last year's NVS and RHS shows where the bulbs appeared to be well over 30mm so I'm hoping I'll get away with it. In theory the judge will pass each shallot through the ring and 'NAS' any exhibit with any non-conforming bulb. Indeed, I've asked Dave Thorton if I can go over to his house and put my bulbs through his ring!

I also hope to be taking a set of french beans and runner beans with me. The runner beans are already cropping fantastically well so it's a case of picking off all the eatable pods before they get 'beany' which means the plants stop cropping so productively. Those that are a couple of inches long this weekend should be perfect in two weeks time so I'll earmark at least a couple of dozen with bits of string and tease them to grow straight, maybe even cutting off their near neighbours so that all the energy in the truss goes into just one bean and that they hang down clear of the foliage and don't go bent, which is easy to do thanks to my sturdy angled bean fence. I shall need a set of 15 anything up to 18" long, all like peas (sniff!) in a pod. It's a long time since I won with runner beans even at local level so i'm being an ambitious arsehole yet again!

As I have drastically cut down on my local shows I'm also going to try and pull a set of 5 'Sweet Candle' stumps. If the foliage is anything to go by then I should have some good'uns deep down in yonder sand bed.

Sadly, without x-ray vision I'll never know until Friday 26th August long after my entry form has been posted! I just hope the stump ends have formed by then as these would only have been in about 19 weeks by Llangollen weekend when in an ideal World they take between 20-22. A fellow NVS grower (and another Scot) is hoping to table a set of 'Abaco' stumps which are the old 'Favourite' shape and have potential to beat 'Sweet Candle'. We shall have our exhibits independently judged after the proper judging (surely neither of us will win a card?!) and the loser buys first pint. It could well turn out to be a weekend of severe Smithyveg buttf***ing at the hands of the Scots, but my pride will hopefully remain intact. Now, I wonder what boot polish tastes like? And does anyone know any good chat-up lines for sheep?

♫Holding on to every little thing so tightly.....♫

I enjoy tying shallots. I find it quite therapeutic. A well tied set of shallots can be elevated above the competition. I very often see a set of excellent shallots spoiled by bad tying so I like to take my time doing mine and make sure that they are all tied in exactly the same way, at the same height and cut all the same.

Today I started doing my pickling shallots as the tops have now dried out and you don't want to be leaving this very fiddly job until the last minute. I have a method that involves no knots which is a bit difficult to explain, but I do find it leaves a nice finish. These will stay in place for the entire show season, as I don't take them off and re-tie between shows as is often recommended. I simply don't have the time or inclination.

I need a set of 15 for Llangollen and I'll try and do a couple a day, with some spares which I will then store in boxes of vermiculite. At this point I won't take off the last of the loose skins as I believe these keep the first whole skin below them to continue ripening. To take it all off now will expose an unripe skin that never fully ripens.

This is now my template for all my other picklers, and I will use a digital vernier to check all the others are tied the same.

I have some nice uniform 'exhibition' shallots with nice round profiles. They aren't the biggest you will see but I got mine up in the first week of June rather than get tempted to wait for them to get bigger. I've heard stories of some growers having some humungous shallots which if they stay round would make them phenomenal, but the first NVS show has been and gone and the winning shallots looked to be a similar size to mine so I'll be entering Llangollen confident they won't look out of place.

I've only lost three to going 'pregnant' this year whereas I lost a couple of dozen at least last season so I may well continue to get them up sooner than is recommended in future, i.e. the longest day.

This is how they look when they go double and means they are useless for show, but i'd still have no hesitation about planting these next season. I've taken the loose skins right off this one so you can see what I mean about the bottoms being unripe as yet.

Whilst watering my runner beans this afternoon I noticed this bean fairly low down. It was a good 16" long, ramrod straight and still growing with no sign of bean bulge. I'd love to stage a set at Llangollen but getting 15 beans to match is a real tall order. Still stranger things have happened and runner beans is one of the poorer supported classes in NVS shows mainly because of the amazing beans staged by Sherie Plumb and Andrew Jones who tend to dominate. Someone somewhere has got to come forward and try and give them a challenge.

And in response to the request from Mr S here are my pea plants. I've had a few flowers appear already and was tempted to remove them but the current national champion advised me to leave them be. I'm not very happy with how these plants are looking so I'm a bit dubious about my chances of taking a set to bench at Llangollen. Still, one good thing.....the marestail brew seems to be working as I have no mildew as yet!

My grandson Oscar will be having his cochlear implant operation on Tuesday so as a little treat tonight I let him have some of my Guinness.

He should sleep well tonight!