Pipe dreams

Whilst relaxing over a cuppa the other day Leesa asked me the following question. If I had a choice which crop would I most like in my wildest dreams to be National Champion with? Apart from the huge unlikelihood of it ever happening, she was very surprised when I said without hesitation...parsnips! She was sure I would say long carrots and so asked me to explain myself, and I think it's just that since I exhibited parsnips that won best in show at Leicester two years running I've always felt that along with tomatoes, they were the two crops I was most likely to get anywhere near a ticket at National level. As parsnips are 20-pointers they therefore trump tomatoes which are 18 pointers under NVS rules.

To be in with a shout you need skins that are as unmarked as possible. At Leicester in 2009 I pulled a set of three 'Pinnacle' that absolutely gleamed and didn't have the slightest blemish but I've struggled to repeat that since (although length and girth are excellent) and my thoughts on carrot fly damage have been discussed in previous postings. I shall be scattering more phorate granules around the crowns shortly to catch the second wave of carrot fly, having hopefully seen off the first hatchings in May. At Harrogate my parsnip scored the highest points in the collections, beating even the great Peter Clark so if I can get a matching set of 5 then why shouldn't I think about entering this year's National? Certainly, the foliage on this year's crop are looking as healthy and uniform as I've had in a long time. The variety I favour these days is 'Polar' although I understand this variety will not be available from next year.

I'd lost interest in growing a lot of long carrots this season after suffering a few disappointing seasons, but the few that I am growing are looking good so far. Last year I had enormous foliage but this didn't equate to huge roots. In contrast, Dave Thornton had some of the sparsest foliage I've ever witnessed and yet when he uncovered a crown they were huge. If I hadn't seen it for myself I wouldn't have believed it, so it just goes to show that with long roots large tops aren't everything. I'm growing 18 stations in 3 drums and I'm happy with this so far.

It certainly helps with condition growing them in a polythene surrounded wooden framework with an enviromesh top as the rain can still get in but nasties cannot. And the cossetted atmosphere keeps them nice and snug and away from any battering winds that could snap the leaves. I'll be very interested to find out if my simplified mix (F2S and calcified seaweed) gives me bigger specimens this season.

I wish I hadn't bothered trying long carrots in pipes in the greenhouse again. Watering is quite awkward and I do keep forgetting to do it so I'll no doubt end up with large roots again that are forked about 2' down. I also had a few that developed double crowns during the May heatwave and these will no doubt have oval shaped tops and be no good for showing, that is if they don't go to seed which I think is more likely. I could have used this space much more productively.

My stumps are still growing away very nicely, and the ones in this bed with polythene sides are growing too well if anything, as the tops are fair bursting out of the enviromesh top.

With over two months to go until my first show I am hopeful of having some decent stumps to show. As well as this bed I have a larger bed of roots where the foliage is only half the size, grown in a frame with enviromesh all the way round, so it just shows the difference of having polythene sides as they were both sown close together.

A couple of nights ago I planted 4 'Carmen' cucumber plants in the greenhouse border. Last year I tried planting in grobags on a raised wooden platform and this turned out to be a bit of disaster. This year I've gone back to my tried and tested method with one slight change. I've put a bottomless plant pot around the plant which will be filled with more compost when the plant is well up the cane, and another pot will be placed on top of this and the process repeated, encouraging the development of more roots from the main stem of the plant to give a stronger plant in theory. This is the way Sherie Plumb grows hers apparently so I shall be giving a whirl to see how we get on. I won't be allowing any fruits to form until the plant has reached at least 3-4' tall and I can start training it horizontally along wires, giving the plants plenty of nitrogen feed in the meantime, as well as soot water to enhance the colour.

The square pots in the blue trays are my one and only sowing of peas, sown yesterday evening (86 days from Malvern), the variety being Dorian. The usual show winning variety is 'Show Perfection' but trying to grow this variety in England in August and September is akin to trying to catch a fart in a colander as they will undoubtedly succumb to mildew. Dorian seems to have some resistance to mildew and is my only hope of benching a set of peas in late September, which is something I am determined to do even if it kills me. They will be smaller than 'SP', and have less peas in, but as you only get 3 points for size according to NVS rules then assuming you have good shape, condition and uniformity then in theory there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to compete against the usual Scottish contingent with their blemish free sets of large SP's. In fact, during the writing of this small paragraph I have managed to convince myself once again, that come September I will be crowned National Pea Champion. Proof if ever it was needed that whilst I get older with each passing day, and ever more handsome.....i'm still stupid.