Smithy's in print again!

Way haaaay!

I've had a letter printed in Garden News. I was responding to some pillock of a show judge who reckoned each exhibitor should offer up an extra specimen in each dish which would be tasted and marks awarded along with the usual size/condition/uniformity etc. There would be bits of cut or half eaten veg everywhere.

My brilliantly written letter went as follows:

‘The star letter in this week’s GN really misses the point about cutting show veg and is all the more disappointing as the author is a judge himself. The clue surely is in the word ‘SHOW’. We exhibitors put on a SHOW for the viewing public to enjoy and marvel at. They want to see large, perfectly grown vegetables, fruit and flowers, not a scene of carnage. He says judging is a subjective thing but he should know better than most that there are guidelines to follow, thanks to organisations such as the NVS and RHS. If he isn’t aware of these he shouldn’t be judging. Surely taste IS a subjective thing and can never be a reason for marking up a set of ill-matched tomatoes against a dish of perfectly round and uniform ones grown to the optimum by a top showman? Besides, as most shows organisers know the judges have barely enough time to make their decisions in time for the show to open let alone having to mess about tasting each and every entry. It is a ludicrous idea.’

However, I’m very disappointed with GN as they missed of the last sentence of my letter which was the best bit. I went on…..

‘It’s akin to the judges at the Miss World competition saying “she may well be the prettiest but is she any good in bed?”.’

For some infathomable reason GN felt they couldn’t print that bit! Although, I must admit now I’ve thought about it, it does sound like riveting TV!"