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Wednesday, February 08, 2012

There's one Colborn every minute!



This bloke is really starting to annoy me now. Not only does he have a really stupid purple beard but a few weeks ago he gave advice in the Q&A section of Garden News that carrot fly cannot go above 2 foot off the ground. I wish it wasn't as it would save lots of hard work but this advice is totally, completely and utterly WRONG. Anyone who grows carrots in drums up to 5' or more off the ground knows this is untrue. I have suffered damage from these little bastards before, sometimes quite severe infestations and now I take steps accordingly, covering them with elaborate eniromesh frames and applying Phorate granules around the crowns as an extra precaution. I was compelled to write to GN with this information, imploring them not to give out this advice in future. I assumed they would publish my letter as it was quite brilliantly written, mixing sound horticultural advice with wit and not a small amount of sarcasm. They obviously binned it.

Well, in this week's edition feck me if he isn't giving out the same sodding useless advice once again. Let's be right, Nigel Colborn has probably forgotten more about gardening than I'll ever know but it is annoying when so-called garden celebs trot out these urban myths. Presumably someone said it once upon a time and ever since then it has been accepted as fact. It ranks alongside other gems such as scab is passed on from seed spuds, marigold roots kill bindweed, crushed eggshells deter slugs, Ian Stocks smiles, Dan Unsworth and Paul Bastow aren't northern sausage chewers, Dickie Walton takes photographs that cannot be laughed at, Liverpool FC have a robust racial policy and tax inspectors are human beings.

To reiterate once again......CARROT FLY are perfectly capable of flying ABOVE 2' and Nigel Colborn should be kicked in the nicky-nacky-noos if he ever says otherwise again.

4 comments:

Richard W. said...

Totally agree! They managed 5' in my garden last year.

You can laugh at my photos by all means. Not a problem. I can't help it that doing so just confirms that lack of taste directly correlates to lack of stature.

ontheplot said...

Carrot Flies. You would think the clue was in the name!!!. Think your being a wee bit harsh as some of us of petite stature have taste, however it might be due to the double dose of Scottish ness.

Matron said...

So do they have the carrot fly Olympics to test your theory?

Unknown said...

Carrot fly managed to fly through enviromesh and infest carrots 6 foot off the ground last year so you are right he is a knob