A lesson for us all....

I've had the following message from a fellow veg man.....I think it's a timely reminder for us all to remember the little ladies in our lives.

"It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.

Fellow growers my name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have elevensies at the allotment and lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, before doing pricking out duties in the greenhouse. But now it's usual for the plates to sit on the table for several hours after dinner, and the pricking out has to be done well after darkness has set in. Expensive plants are bound to be damaged when she’s working in such a haphazard fashion. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean or transplant themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to drive all the way to the garden centre for my bags of compost during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to ask one of the assistants to get her a trolley to make it easier to lug them around. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's sieving my potato mixes. Also, it does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch ‘Gardener’s World’, but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. With chocolate hob-nobs.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older, especially when they label your seed trays wrongly. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, eh?"

SMITHYVEG'S NOTE:It appears that Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 12” dibber rammed up his backside with only 2 inches showing. His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.