I've reluctantly given in to my wife and agreed to the purchase of this pathetic little pooch (the coat will look better once I've had a Manchester United crest woven into it). However, there were certain rules I stipulated prior to the transaction and these need re-instating now so that there are no 'blurring' of the rule edges in the coming months and years......if needs be I can refer back to this blog and go....'there you are'.
1) I will not clear up its poo or wee.
2) I will not clean it's bum.
3) I will not take it for a walk anywhere people may know me.
4) The minute it starts digging in my prized veg beds is the minute it becomes a dog pie.
5) I will train it to run after and bite traffic wardens (the bastards!)
4 comments:
i think the bollocks is beeing a bit ambitious for the size of that dog i would settle on the ankle if i were you lol.
love reading your blog you have inspired me to have a go at showing this year.
cheers
alan
Hi Alan,
It should be fine……I will have also have run after the traffic warden and punched him in the face, thus knocking him to the floor and therefore alleviating the logistical problems regarding the dog’s lack of height in relation to said bollocks. However, to save time I may bite the bastard in the bollocks myself!
As for having a go at ‘showing’ welcome to the club and the very best of luck to you. If there is anything you need to ask in the coming months please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll do my very best to help you out. Where in the country are you based?
Regards
Simon
Hi Simon
I live near Middlesbrough a vilage called Great Ayton. I would like to try carrot, parsnip and leek's this year, this year I am just going to grow them not planning on showing just to see how I do and to get things set up for next year.
Thanks for the offer of advice I will take you up on that sometime.
many thanks
alan
Hi again Alan,
Well you live in the hot-bed of showing as it is. Try asking around in the working men's clubs....I'm sure there'd be a few old boys in there willing to give you advice.First show I ever went to was in the village of Murton on a visit to my uncle many years ago....wow...those pot leeks!
regards
Simon
Post a Comment