What's the difference between a porcupine and a car full of traffic wardens?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
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I have been growing and showing veg since 1996, a brilliant hobby contrary to popular belief and the views of my mates who think I’m a big poof (I’ve got nothing against poofs however!). This is just a chart of my progress for the 2017 season, if you have any specific questions about ‘showing’ then email me on smithyveg@aol.com and I’ll do my best to answer them.
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World Montello Champion 2016
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- all traffic wardens are bastards (1)
- Any other veg (10)
- apples (2)
- aubergines (16)
- beans (11)
- bedding (1)
- bees (1)
- beetroot (84)
- blight (3)
- bond (1)
- bourne (1)
- brassicas (5)
- broad beans (3)
- brussels (27)
- cabbages (66)
- Cacti (16)
- cakes (1)
- Calcified seaweed (1)
- cardoon (1)
- carrots (243)
- Carrots at Dawn (3)
- caulis (36)
- celery (75)
- chard (3)
- chrysanths (4)
- collections (29)
- cooking king (1)
- courgettes (17)
- cucumbers (58)
- dahlias (76)
- Dave Thornton is a bastard and his life will be hell from now on (2)
- Derby (7)
- dictionary (2)
- diseases (3)
- Dundee (3)
- feeds (5)
- fertilisers (5)
- figs (1)
- formerly of 69 (1)
- foxbastards (3)
- french beans (35)
- fruit (1)
- fuchsias (8)
- gherkins (2)
- git from Humberside (2)
- gladioli (8)
- Hallams (10)
- Harrogate (18)
- Hathern (11)
- herbs (3)
- I want to put a bullet up every striking teacher's overpaid nostrils (2)
- insecticides (1)
- IT WAS PAUL BASTOW AND FRANK TAYLOR THE DIPSHITS (1)
- Jennifer (1)
- judging (7)
- kevin (1)
- knobbish advice (1)
- kohl rabi (6)
- leeks (105)
- Leesa (20)
- Leicester (22)
- lettuce (20)
- littleover (17)
- London (1)
- long beet (10)
- long beetroot (2)
- Loughborough (1)
- Malvern (75)
- manure (3)
- marrows (70)
- Moorgreen (4)
- mouse melons (1)
- Nationals (6)
- NVS (55)
- okra (1)
- old cunts (1)
- onions (206)
- Organic schmanic beardy weirdy hug-a-slug (10)
- Oscar (3)
- P.A.R.T.Y (1)
- Parklands Drive (1)
- Parsnips (187)
- peas (45)
- pellets (2)
- peppers (22)
- perv (1)
- pests (7)
- points (7)
- Ponce (1)
- pot leeks (5)
- potatoes (168)
- Preparation (9)
- pumpkin (40)
- radish (5)
- runner beans (71)
- Seagrave (14)
- seeds (2)
- shallots (124)
- Sileby (17)
- slugs (1)
- snails (1)
- soil (1)
- sowing (1)
- squash (4)
- Sturton (40)
- Sutton Bonington (27)
- swedes (1)
- sweetcorn (2)
- tips (19)
- Tomatoes (160)
- Top Tray (21)
- total wanker (1)
- trug (28)
- turnips (7)
- varieties (1)
- walking (32)
- wee jimmy's tours (1)
- Westminster (27)
- what a (1)
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