This time of the year for the veg showman, and the growers
of long roots in particular, is like that scene in Braveheart, the one where
that fine Scottish fella Mel Gibson and his clan of tartan bollock brains are
waiting for the advancing English. Many of them want to reveal their dastardly
plan early but Gibson makes them wait until the last possible moment before
pulling up their row of spikes and piercing the gallant Englishmen’s horses and
basically cheating their way to victory, as is their way, especially when it
comes to cake competitions. At this time of year the temptation to pull the odd
carrot or parsnip for a looksee is unbearable, especially if you think you may
have some decent specimens, but it is an urge you should resist at all costs,
as you may pull one of those roots you might be relying on to make a set in a
few weeks’ time. Once pulled, a long carrot or parsnip can be replanted but
they will lose freshness and won’t grow anymore, so don’t do it, you have been
warned!
Having said all that I did pull one of my long carrots at
the weekend. It was a very small one that had developed a double crown so it
was never going to be any good for showing, so I decided to get it up to see if
it had travelled all the way down, without any forking, and to gauge the skin
finish. I must say I was very happy on all accounts. If all my others are this
shape and finish, albeit much bigger, then I shall be a happy bunny come show
time and will hopefully have a chance of being in the tickets at the biggest
shows in the country. My long carrots are looking quite heavy shouldered
already so all that remains to be hoped for now is that they carry their weight
evenly well down the root. Of course without x-ray vision and for all I know
that might have been the only decent carrot in all the fucking barrels!!
After the piss and panic last week over the stump carrot
crown rot problem, all appears to have calmed down. Getting any diseased ones
up and spraying the remainder with Signum
seems to have arrested the problem, and the bed now looks healthy. They
aren’t the biggest but I’ll be happy if they’re at least stump ended, as the
fresh sand I used this year should at least mean I don’t have any cavity spot,
a problem I experienced for the past couple of years.
All my onions for the 1-1 ½ kg class are starting to ripen
on wood shavings in my garage. I managed to get 9 all at just over 17 ½ “
circumference so now it’s a case of seeing whether they all look the same once
ripened, but I am hoping to have a set of 5 at the National. It’s highly
unlikely I’d be in the tickets as I expect that most classes at Malvern will
have at least a dozen entries, and this’ll be one of them. Despite not
harvesting until late July I didn’t suffer botrytis because the double pot
system meant I could water the bottom pot and keep moisture away from the bulb
in the upper pot.
My Tasco onions for the 250g class are also starting to
colour up nicely, but this is a class that will have anything up to 30 entries
at Malvern so you really do have to have perfectly matched little bulbs, and
despite growing over 100 I only have about 40 to choose my sets from, the
remainder either being too small or not a good enough shape.
I will probably be looking for my best set of 4 to keep back
for the Millennium Class at Malvern, that is assuming I can also find 4
potatoes that aren’t scabbed up to buggery. I will be emptying out the bags
this coming weekend, once they have been out of the ground for a fortnight
meaning the skins are now hardened and there shouldn’t be a risk of them
skinning during handling. The Millennium Class calls for 4 each of 250g onions,
tomatoes, globe beet, potatoes and stump carrots and is a class I would love to
win a ticket in. With this in mind, and with a little under 6 weeks to go my
tomatoes are starting to ripen like never before, not something I’m too chuffed
about as I’m usually waiting my first red tomato at this time of the season,
but they’ve come very early for some reason. I picked a large tray last week
and ‘staged’ the set below on my kitchen table. Just to keep my eye in you
understand.
This means my competition ones are going to have to come
from the 4th truss and above in all probability, so I shall be
thinning out the trusses over the next few days, getting rid of fruits with the
potential to cause neighbouring ones to have flat sides. It’s a bit of a leap
of faith to sacrifice perfectly good looking fruits but it does reward you with
better shaped ones come show time and I guess as I’ve ticketed in the last 2
Nationals it proves I do know my tommies! Below you can see how a truss is
thinned, before and after.
I thought I also knew my cucumbers but this season has been
a baffling one thus far. My plants have been very slow indeed to get going,
just sitting and doing nothing for what seemed like several weeks after
planting. I’m usually chopping them back to keep the sideshoots in check by now
but thankfully they are now starting to get to the eaves of my tunnel when I
will start to train them horizontally so I am still hopeful of getting some
cucs on the bench at Malvern. All fruits forming on the vertical vine are
picked off before they have chance to develop, and it’s only once they are able
to hang down from above that they’ll be allowed to swell and grow. A big plants
means the fruits develop quickly, from a 2” long cuc you should have one of
showable size in about a fortnight.
At the weekend I’ll be judging my only show booking for this
season, at Burbage near Hinckley, Leicestershire. This will be the 5th
year I’ve judged the veg here and it’s always a nice little show to judge with
several classes taxing the brain, especially tomatoes, runner beans, onions as
grown and rhubarb. With that in mind I’d like to appeal to all growers to show
a little decorum after judging rather than throwing a hissy titfit befitting of
a small child because a result may not have gone your way. Judging of
vegetables is not and never can be an exact science, despite the written
guidance of the NVS and RHS, especially at the highest level when the very
smallest of faults can be the difference between first and second. Some days it
may go for you, others it might not, but proper men (and women) will take
defeat on the chin with good grace and think forward to the next show with a
smile. Sometimes growers are blinded to the faults on their own exhibits and
prefer to concentrate on the faults of those that have beaten them, sometimes
justifiably, but more often than not the correct decision has prevailed. Either
way, it happened, get over it. To question a result and try and denigrate
someone in their moment of glory, or to issue veiled threats over the internet
just marks you out as a total cock, not the experienced and helpful older
showman you might pretend to be, and it’s nasty old tossers like you who are
one of the reasons why I’ve decided to walk away from showing.
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