Tales of internet idiots

I have to admit to being a bit addicted to social media but it does wind me up considerably that it is often a portal for a myriad of cock-juggling thundercunts to show the World just how stupid they are. For instance, the post below was posted on one of the many Facebook gardening pages that I subscribe to for various reasons. The photo is of a sunflower and I guess if you’ve never seen one you wouldn’t know what it was, although the spelling and grammar of this particular poster does seem to suggest he/she is thicker than a very thick plank that has been left in water to expand so it’s even thicker.

Once posted then basically the race is on for the first person with ‘knowledge’ to post an answer and to pass him/herself off as the Grand Hortimaster of the group. Once done, that should be a fucking end to it, but no, you will usually see anything up to 50 or 60 identical answers saying it is a FUCKING SUNFLOWER FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Everyone who posts ‘it’s a sunflower’ after the first correct answer is basically a total bell-end from Upper Bellendsville.

However, this can sometimes work in your favour. I once followed a post started by a chap who had taken on a plot with a very old and large greenhouse with a brick wall base. He posted a photo of a leaf shoot emerging from a border right next to the whitewashed brick wall asking group members to help him identify it. He mentioned that it had a huge woody root that he simply couldn’t budge. Bit of a clue there don’t you think? Alas, no. At least 40 ‘experts’ posted confidently, one after the other like a row of idiot dominoes, that it was a volunteer potato, probably as a result of a previous crop not being fully cleared. The poster thanked everyone and said he looked forward to an early crop of spuds, right up until the point that I intervened and said it was not a potato, that it was quite clearly a fig, which you could tell from the leaf shape which bore no resemblance to that of a potato, although the fact that it had a woody stump was also a bit of a giveaway (by this time I was taking the piss out of the soft cunts!). At this point several people posted to vehemently disagree with me and insist that it was definitely a potato, although one or two did concede that now they had zoomed in on the photograph it could possibly be a fig.

For fuck’s sake, these morons all have votes, and they would probably choose that terrorist sympathising doggyknobber Corbyn!