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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Dahlia doghouse blues

I enquired last week how a dahlia growing pal was faring and got the following reply. To save him from the divorce courts he shall remain nameless

"With very little sun to generate any warmth in the greenhouse my first lot of dahlias that were set into growth in early jan in the 4th bedroom have made little growth since being moved to the greenhouse 3 weeks ago.
I shot myself in the foot when i boxed up my 2nd lot of dahlia tubers and set them up into growth in the 4th bedroom. I went to see my mum that day and stayed overnight. The following morning my good lady texted me to advise that she had just picked up the 18th woodlouse she had found exploring the upstairs of the house As these appeared to have emmanated from my dahlias then i was told in no uncertain manner that all dahlias in the house would need to be removed to the greenhouse with immediate effect on my return. These dahlias were showing a number of small shoots and were duly removed to appease my wife.
Arbitration has since taken place and agreement reached that in future dahlias in the house would only be allowed provided the trays that they are grown in have a suitable cover/lid. So my next set of tubers have been set up in the 4th bedroom with a suitable lid on them. what my good lady does not know is that the lids are removed during the day whilst she is at work and the replaced over the tubors before she comes home from work."


All I can say mate is that should you get the boot then I understand Cheryl Cole is now single and is used to woodlice. In fact she's been married to one for the past 4 years!


I sincerely hope this is a temporary dog house he's in as he provided me with the plant that I managed to grow these Alf Ramsey dahlias last season.


My tubers are still well and truly in hibernation and won't be bought out into the greenhouse for another month yet. We've had even more snow today, and although it hasn't settled it remains bitterly cold so the onions and leeks are having to be covered every night under the grolamp. Talking of being under the spotlight I made a right prat of myself in a pub quiz the other night when asked the question 'where do most women have curly hair?


Apparently the correct answer is Africa.


4 comments:

FannyWigsRus said...

Curly Hair Problems ?
If you ever need a replacement for your hairpiece Simon,then check us out.

Simon (Smithyveg) said...

You are a twat Unsworth! LOL

Leah Day said...

next time i get an email from you asking how i am the response will be "no comment".
although i have to admit your post is upto your usual excellent standard.
my good lady agrees.
thanks

Simon (Smithyveg) said...

Sorry mate.....I should've substituted 'woodlice' for 'worms' or something shouldn't I? She'd never have guessed then would she? LOL