It has been a good weekend!

Not only have the reds secured yet another trophy but Chelsea were beaten yesterday and the League is now in our hands again. And today I entertained a student from the Royal College of Art no less, who is doing a project on obsessive show growers such as myself. I had thought his initial contact email was a mate having a wind-up but no.....t'was genuine! And I must say I spent a very pleasant hour with a polite young man who never once pissed himeself with laughter whilst I explained what it was that drove me to try and grow the perfect set of vegetables, although I'm sure that deep down he must have thought I was amongst the weirdest humans ever to walk Wayne Rooney's Earth!

Ringing the changes

I'm a firm believer that shows should adapt to change. I've entered a local village show for 15 years now and in all that time the schedule has hardly altered. In fact even the mistakes have remained the same despite my pointing them out annually. When it plops onto my doormat I file it with the others and don't look at it until the night before the show. I'm THAT sure I know what classes I will be entering.

Held on August Bank Holiday weekend there were 9 dahlia classes, a large championship style gladioli class and 3 chrysanth classes. The dahlia growers have dwindled, the gladioli class is way too large and now attracts only one grower, and August is a little early for chrysanths so again there are very few entries. As some of my old show growing pals have passed away it left myself and a couple of stalwarts to enter the majority of exhibits and consequently walk away with most of the trophies and not inconsiderable prize money. There were, however, still large gaps on the show benches where some classes received no entries.

But at last year's show I did notice that quite a few villagers had started to come forward and try their hand, albeit their entries didn't haven't a chance of winning. So I approached the organisers and asked if they might allow me to suggest a new schedule and they agreed. I've been beavering away at it since Christmas and at a meeting on Monday night they unanimously voted to accept my changes.

I haven't gone mad......I've done what I've done at a couple of other local shows.....reduced things like long carrots and parsnips to 2 instead of 3. A pair of cabbages now becomes a single cabbage. 5 tomatoes instead of 6, 4 potatoes instead of 5 and so forth. I've reduced the number of dahlia classes to 5 only, and cut the gladioli class from 3 vases of 2 to 2 vases of two.

There is also a class called 'Master Gardener' which in the past has called for a vase of flowers and a plate of veg chosen from the schedule. I've altered this to read:

1 vase 3 flowers
Choose from 3 dahlia/3 chrysanthemums/3 gladioli/3 annuals or 3 perennials,

and

3 dishes of 3 different veg, 2 matching veg per dish, selected from the schedule classes, any combination e.g. 2 potato/2 tomato/2 leeks or 2 runner bean/2 beetroot/2 cabbage etc, etc.

At first glance that appears to be a whole lot more complicated but as an exhibitor I know that very often when pulling and preparing my veg for a show I can very often find two matching specimens but not a third so that these veg get left behind at home. I'm sure this class will attract more interest because of my changes.

The most important thing I've done however is to introduce three new classes for 'villagers only', and the organisers have promised me they will advertise this in the local pubs, clubs and on notices. I've sidelined one of the trophies from the chrysanth section for the best exhibit in the villager only section, and so I'm hoping that this will generate a lot of interest from the locals and get one or two of them sufficiently interested to want to know how to go the next step. My telephone number and email address will appear in the schedule for people to phone if they need advice on preparing their exhibits in the run up to the show. Hopefully, in 5 years time I'll be struggling to win a class because the locals are starting to beat me, and this scene will be a thing of the past!!

One final point to mention is that I have consulted with the other regular exhibitors and judges and asked for their opinions, sending them all a draft copy of the new schedule. I was gratified to hear that they all unanimously agreed with me when they either phoned me or wrote back.

Dahlia doghouse blues

I enquired last week how a dahlia growing pal was faring and got the following reply. To save him from the divorce courts he shall remain nameless

"With very little sun to generate any warmth in the greenhouse my first lot of dahlias that were set into growth in early jan in the 4th bedroom have made little growth since being moved to the greenhouse 3 weeks ago.
I shot myself in the foot when i boxed up my 2nd lot of dahlia tubers and set them up into growth in the 4th bedroom. I went to see my mum that day and stayed overnight. The following morning my good lady texted me to advise that she had just picked up the 18th woodlouse she had found exploring the upstairs of the house As these appeared to have emmanated from my dahlias then i was told in no uncertain manner that all dahlias in the house would need to be removed to the greenhouse with immediate effect on my return. These dahlias were showing a number of small shoots and were duly removed to appease my wife.
Arbitration has since taken place and agreement reached that in future dahlias in the house would only be allowed provided the trays that they are grown in have a suitable cover/lid. So my next set of tubers have been set up in the 4th bedroom with a suitable lid on them. what my good lady does not know is that the lids are removed during the day whilst she is at work and the replaced over the tubors before she comes home from work."

All I can say mate is that should you get the boot then I understand Cheryl Cole is now single and is used to woodlice. In fact she's been married to one for the past 4 years!

I sincerely hope this is a temporary dog house he's in as he provided me with the plant that I managed to grow these Alf Ramsey dahlias last season.

My tubers are still well and truly in hibernation and won't be bought out into the greenhouse for another month yet. We've had even more snow today, and although it hasn't settled it remains bitterly cold so the onions and leeks are having to be covered every night under the grolamp. Talking of being under the spotlight I made a right prat of myself in a pub quiz the other night when asked the question 'where do most women have curly hair?

Apparently the correct answer is Africa.

Did you see 'The One Show' tonight?

Christine Bleakley AND Felicity Kendal on the same show. Believe me.....for a 46 year old veg grower whose old enough to remember The Good Life......that was pure porn !!!!

My season can now start....at last!

This weekend I finally finished the decorating tasks that Leesa had set me before Christmas. Tasks that had to be done before I dare set foot in the garden again! The decorating took a lot longer than it should have done as I lost my temper with a job and ending up creating another! Moral of this story? Never attempt to hang wallpaper when your football team is losing!

Anyhow, all that is now forgotten and I can get on with things. Because of the weather (we had another good covering of snow here last night) I don't think I would have been able to get out much anyway, but this weekend I did start to empty out and refill my parsnip drums. This may seem like a silly thing to do but is absolutely essential as the sand will otherwise become compacted and makes boring the holes very difficult. I have filled the metal beds that the drums are standing on, and the actual drums themselves to the absolute limit as I want the extra inches (don't we all?) on my parsnip roots this season. Every 6 inches or so of 'fill' I give the sand a good stir with a fork to break up any clumps of last year's core holes and give it a good drench with dilute bleach solution to kill off any pest and disease. I use a spirit level to make sure the drums are dead level.

I also set a couple of trays each of onion sets, Red Baron and Setton. Onions from sets is a popular class here in Leicestershire and I like to give them a head start in trays in the greenhouse rather than planting straight outside in March or April. I shall probably plant these up the allotment as I didn't get any onion white rot up there. I lost all of the sets I planted in the garden however.

Remembering last season, here is one of my Winston spuds and a not so good Kestrel, that have been in dry tissue in my fridge since my last show at the beginning of October. I want to explore possibilities of exhibiting some veg at more than one show, and I think the Winston could even be shown now at local level. For one day shows I will wrap my potatoes up in dry tissue and store them in the fridge for use at another show. I would only do this for local level showing, not regional or national level.

In the meantime just to show how late the season is I've had to bring my pots of show daffs into the greenhouse to bring them on. They should be much higher than this by now.

Potatoes.....check!

Yesterday I went to collect my spuds from Exhibition Seed Potatoes (ESP) in Ockbrook, Derby. I shall be growing 5kg of Winston (white), 5kg of Kestrel (purple splashes) and 3 kg each of Maxine (red) and Camelot (pink splashes). That's not a huge amount of spuds compared to the top growers but I only have room for 60 or so bags and I do like to have a few varieties to cover the different classes I enter at various shows.....such as white/coloured/coloured kidney/white kidney/round as well as collections for a plate of coloured and white spuds. I shall be illustrating my growing methods in a later posting nearer sowing time (mid April for me) but until then my spuds are chitting in trays in my garage eye end uppermost. All I will say for now is that you need to make sure you have shed loads of Vitax Q4 and calcified seaweed in store.


I was also persuaded by the proprietor of ESP, Dave Thornton to have a go with some Blue Belle which has lilac splashes. Some of the guys on the NVS forum reckon it could be a good one so I shall give it a go on a small scale......I only bought a kilo......9 tubers.


Not much is happening in the garden, and my shallots seem to be on a go-slow. I haven't got a single green top showing on any of them which I can only put down the recent cold weather. I know they have rooted and the bulbs appear solid so it's just a case of waiting for them to start into growth.....I hope!!!

An early showing?

I'm tempted to enter a small local show that is being held in early July as I just cannot wait until the end of August. It opens a whole new box load of logistical issues if you have a look at the schedule. There is one for 3 carrots for instance. Long carrots wouldn't be an option for me but I could show some stump carrots. I have an old dustbin that I could set up for some Sweet Candle but it would mean sowing these early next month at the latest so I would have to set something up in my greenhouse.

A class for 3 potatoes also means I would have to set some tubers in early March and I have a few ideas on how I might achieve this, so more on that in later postings. The onion class is worded '3 onions with tops' so I'm assuming that's an 'as grown' class which is easy enough to sort. The other classes are more interesting, 3 rhubarb for instance. I have shown forced rhubarb at Spring shows but never in summer shows. It's just a case of trying to select long straight stems and cutting back the foliage into a bit of an arrow shape. 5 broad beans should be relatively straight forward although achieving good uniformity is not as easy as you might think. Other classes are for a single lettuce, 3 beetroot and 5 pods of peas. I always seem to grow cracking peas in July and early August but mildew always stops me showing them into September. There is also an any other veg class so I could show marrows, courgettes, tomatoes (if ripe) and cucumbers. With other classes for various flowers and pot plants it all sounds like a nice gentle way to ease into the show season and offer the chance of some early practice.

So there you have it. All I have to do now is explain to my missus how I shall be showing instead of packing suitcases for our holiday but a few days later. She'll do that better without me. I only get in the way!

One more thing......

....from that last post. My low key method is good enough for producing reasonable onions and leeks for local shows and the like. If you want to exhibit at a higher level there are all sorts of expensive things you would have to do from having thermostatically controlled growing cabinets, grolights, special potting mixes, and so on, as well as changing the amount of light the plants get from week to week.

Keep alliums growing hard

I've been asked a question as to why a guy's onions and leeks appear to be growing long and spindly and I think it's simply that he's growing them too soft. Now I'm no expert onion or leek man but I've gleaned enough to know that the more robust you can grow them the better. Mine are growing on in my totally amateurishly constructed growing area in one of my cold greenhouses. It's simply a few metal plates propped up against canes. If I had the inclination I would construct a proper wooden cabinet lined with reflective material, but this will do me for now. I do have a grolamp above them but no extra heat whatsoever. I find that the grolamp throws out quite a bit of heat and is more than enough to keep the plants ticking along even when temperatures outside are minus 3 or 4. In the morning the metal plates are quite warm to the touch so the restricted area does appear to hold the heat well, even though the lamp is a good 8-10" above the tallest plants being the leeks.

I throw a few old compost bags over the outer edges of the frame on the coldest nights as shown in the photo, but I take them off in the morning, turn off the lamp and remove the metal plates at the front so that the plants can get some natural daylight. When I get home from work about 6 it is usually dark and starting to get cold so I reassemble the metal framework and switch the lamp back on. I will do this until early March when there should be sufficient daylight hours to render the lamp unnecessary. Also, because I will have grown the plants in quite a 'hard' way it is unlikely the nights will get cold enough for them to require any extra heat. The key therefore is to give your plants a bit of cossetting but not to mollycoddle them,

Leeks potted on

Last Sunday I potted on my leeks into 4" square pots, putting a piece of pipe insulation round the barrel and a plastic clip to support the foliage. The plants were then put into a partitioned section of the greenhouse with a growlamp over them 24hours a day. Dave Metcalfe is adamant the Pendle leek needs 'pulling' as soon as possible. The pipe insulation is passed through a stick and slid up as the leek pulls. It's not important to blanch the bottom at this stage, but to concentrate on getting the plant growing as straight as possible. I have a growlamp over the plants but no extra heat. Even with some severe frosts recently I find that the lamp throws enough heat out, although I do throw a few old compost bags over the partition overnight. My onions are also in this structure, the larger ones to the right of the leeks will need potting on also in a week or so.















In my conservatory I also have some healthy looking fuchsia cuttings on the go, the variety being Shelford. I'm hoping to grow a few small standard plants this season, and this variety responds well to pinching out and is very floriferous, the blooms sitting at a good angle for showing.

Wayne Bridge says he refuses......

......to play for England in this summer's World Cup if John Terry is in the team. Result! I wonder if JT could be persuaded to shag Mrs. Heskey?

Fabio Capello.....

......has just phoned Wayne Bridge and said "John Terry has lost the captain's armband. Do me a favour and have a look under your bed for it."