Today's object of hate is........

…………..or are……binmen!

Years ago they used to empty your bins by actually coming up your garden path or driveway and lugging them to the dumpster and emptying them personally into the back. They were proper men who didn’t mind getting dirty and they were duly rewarded at Christmas time with a little tip showing our appreciation of their work.

Nowadays however, WE have to bag our own rubbish into separate bloody bags and lug it out on to the street ourselves, usually at 7 o’clock in the bleeding morning in our dressing gowns when we’ve woken up in a panic and realised we forgot to do it the night before.

When they get to your house, usually sniggering their stupid smug faces off at our predicament, they then throw every single, carefully separated bag into the back of the same f*cking truck, quite often tearing the flimsy plastic bags in the process and scattering rice, tea bags and an assortment of tin cans over the road. The cans will ALWAYS lodge in front of your car tyre with the sharp edge touching the rubber waiting for you to drive into it. This is the law of Sod!

The binmen do their rounds at two specific times of the day and both are designed to cause as much upset to the general public as possible. Often it’s just before you wake up naturally with a nice stretch followed by a reassuring grope of your gentlemen’s vegetables. The sudden screech of steel on steel causes you to wake from your slumber in a the manner of a flick knife on speed, and usually leaves you with a thumping headache all day.

Or else, they deliberately decide to go down the main thoroughfares through town during rush hour when you’re trying to get to work. For this purpose they’ve left the ‘map of most economical routes to cause the least distress’ back at depot and instead are using the ‘map of routes likely to cause the most serious steering wheel chewing’ which means they will park their f*cking trucks in the most awkward sodding places whilst they amble from kerb to kerb gleefully ignoring your longing facial pleas to get a f*cking move on! No-one will be able to pass in either direction and a tail back starts to form. They then take about 10 minutes to get up into the truck in order to drive 50 yards to an equally awkward stopping location meaning you have about 20 seconds to take advantage of any space in which to pass them.

Bastards!