A challenge for 2008

I've had the following email from the editor of the Garden News

Dear Simon,

I hope you don't mind me contacting you out of the blue, but I still have your email address from last year when you got in touch and introduced me to your blog.

I'm planning a sequence of articles for GN this year on growing for showing that I thought you might be interested in. What I really want to do (hopefully!) is encourage people to have a go. I don't know if you're aware that it's GN's 50th anniversary this year, so we thought this would be a good year to challenge our readers to grow at least one thing for their local show and keep the tradition alive!

What I'd really like to do, to show people that you don't need huge greenhouses and masses of specialist equipment (like Medwyn!), is follow some ordinary gardeners who are relatively new to veg showing over the course of the summer. The difficulty is how I find these newcomers, which is when I thought of you! I wondered if there's any chance you could post something on your blog to help me find some willing volunteers, or indeed whether you'd like to be involved? All you & any other volunteers would need to do is chat to me for 5 minutes once a month to tell us how things are going, what you're doing etc. and if possible, supply a couple of pictures of the produce as it grows.

What do you think? If you're happy to get involved, it would be a great opportunity to mention your blog lots as well! By the way, Vanessa Robins, who you originally got in touch with me about - she was the new shower who wanted advice - has just agreed to be one of my volunteers!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Clare


So.....are any of you out there interested? What about you Kevin?

What a ****ing gooooooal!

Is it possible (or indeed right?) to become sexually aroused by a goal or should I really be keeping such thoughts to myself?

Joke of the day.....

What's the difference between a porcupine and a car full of traffic wardens?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Time to dream......

Most top growers will already have their 'large' onions growing away well in the cossetted atmosphere of growing chambers with thermostatically controlled heating and 24 hour lighting. The aim is to grow them as big as possible, some even aiming to go for the 'heaviest onion' class at their local show. I prefer to relax at this time of year and get my plants from local growers in March at a size I could never hope to achieve with my current equipment (a cold greenhouse!).

However, it doesn't stop you admiring the dedication of the people who manage to enter at places like Harrogate. The picture shows the Harrogate judges 'topping' the entries before putting them on the scales. I think the current world record stands at about 16lbs.

David Thornton's long carrot mix

On Thursday night I had David Thornton (top bloke!) give a talk at our horticultural society on growing long and stump carrots for show. Here is his 'mix' for growing long carrots which I thought looked rather sparse on nutrients compared to the mixes I've used in the past. Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong? As Dave is a top National grower I shall be giving his mix a go this season.

45L sieved compost

15L vermiculite

10L sieved coarse sand

6oz Vitax Q4

3oz Ground Lime(stone)

3oz Seaweed meal (not calcified)

+ insecticide

This mix needs to be ready for use by the 1st week in April when the long carrots traditionally need sowing. One thing Dave was adamant about is that he only waters during the germination stage to make sure the top surface of the sand in the drums doesn't dry out. Once the seedlings are growing away he doesn't give them any more water apart from that which drops out of the sky. You really do want your long carrots to go down in search of moisture and the should be plenty of thaT

Huh?

LIVERPOOL? European city of CULTURE 2008? Is someone taking the piss? Or did everyone else forget to enter?

European city of c*nture more like! Can you imagine all those poor sods from abroad going to visit the place for the first time? It's going to become the 'Pinched wallet' capital of the world!

A? A? A? A? A? A? A?

Buggered!

The ‘holier-than-thou’, organic, eco-mentalist, ‘save the fruitbat’ and ‘hang Jeremy Clarkson’ tree-huggers have won again with the devastating news that Liquid Derris is to be withdrawn from the market in the future. Apparently, it also used to kill the odd ladybird (oooo tragic!). I suggest you get a stockpile in now whilst you can still buy it. I’ve just about used up all of my DDT that I bought in bulk back in ’72 !

No doubt we'll be fobbed off with some organic snot that they'll tell us will do the same thing

Rules of engagement

I've reluctantly given in to my wife and agreed to the purchase of this pathetic little pooch (the coat will look better once I've had a Manchester United crest woven into it). However, there were certain rules I stipulated prior to the transaction and these need re-instating now so that there are no 'blurring' of the rule edges in the coming months and years......if needs be I can refer back to this blog and go....'there you are'.

1) I will not clear up its poo or wee.

2) I will not clean it's bum.

3) I will not take it for a walk anywhere people may know me.

4) The minute it starts digging in my prized veg beds is the minute it becomes a dog pie.

5) I will train it to run after and bite traffic wardens (the bastards!)