Aaaaaagh f*cking b*ll*cky f*ck sh*t w*nk kn*b !!!

Picture the scene......two trays of onions for the 8oz class (Vento and Tasco)....germinating nicely, alternating between a warm kitchen windowsill (nights) and a conservatory (days) for maximum light.

Now picture the same scene....except this time the compost in the trays in question have several bleeding great dents in them the size of a cats paw print.

Does anyone still make violin bows the traditional way? With cat gut?

New York Police suspect the Hudson River plane crash was no accident !

Does anybody know......

.....the current betting odds on a Hull v. Man. Utd. F.A. Cup final ????

8oz onions

It felt good to finally sow some seeds yesterday. They were a couple of trays of onions for the under 8oz classes (229gram), of which I am growing two varieties Tasco and Vento.

I sieved out some seed compost to remove all the lumps and mixed this with some vermiculite to provide drainage and aeration. Both seeds came encased in little green balls which are supposed to aid germination. It also helps you to see where you have sown them on the tray as you can see them easier.

The trays are indoors for now, in my kitchen overnight and my conservatory during the day. They'll be pricked out into individual cell trays when they reach what is known as the 'crook stage'....basically just before the first seed leaf has straightened out and the little plant is crook shaped !

Amazing pictures from the unmanned trip to Mars

United 3 Chelsea 0

The moment Ranting Rafa realised his bunch of losers don't actually have the bottle to stay on top!

Pests and diseases of vegetables

Had a talk at our Hort Soc last night on the above subject from Dave Thornton, General Secretary of the NVS. I made a note of some quite interesting points so here they are in no particular order whatsoever!

• If your spuds are suffering from potato leaf roll virus (which is becoming more of a problem apparently) dig up the affected plants and tuber immediately and dispose of.
• Sterilise water butts as they harbour all sorts of nasties, particularly in warm weather. Use a dash of Jeyes Fluid, Armillatox or cheap bleach which is just as good.
• If saving your own seed sterilise it with a powdered fungicide.
• Fungicides containing Pencanazole are a good general fungicide, which works on leek rust also.
• Dip brassica roots in a hydrated lime solution prior to planting to ward off clubroot.
• Perlka is another product for the control of clubroot.
• Leek and onion thrips are totally different to flower thrips. An insecticide from the garden centre advertising that it kills thrips will probably be the wrong sort therefore. Use a product called Dynamec and apply with a high pressure spray jet.
• Blight.....forget Dithane as most blights are immune to it. Bordeaux Mixture is about the best product available to the amateur grower.
• Do not use Growmore for potatoes as it is often bulked out with lime.
• Vitax Q4 is the best feed for spuds.
• Most of the above mentioned products are not on general sale. Seek out agricultural suppliers such as CWG in Melton Mowbray.

Kinder Scout 3rd Jan 2009 (12 miles)

Best walk I've ever done! Cold but challenging.

Happy New Year ! (?) !

This promises to be a 'big' year for everyone for a number of reasons, most notably due to the credit crunch which has the potential to affect all of our lives for many years to come. I've had first hand experience of it at work where a large customer 'pulled the plug' on a series of orders leaving us no alternative but to make redundancies. With a bit of luck that idiot Brown will be ousted from number 10 this year and we can all start the road to recovery.

On a better note, the weather forecasters are predicting one of the best years on record. However, the day I start believing weather forecasters will be the day I drive to work naked wearing an ear muff made from turds.

As ever I have made my perennial New Year resolution to be on top of my game preparation wise by making sure all my mixes are ready, equipment is well maintained and ready to hand, and that I will grow all of my veg to perfection, free of any pest or disease. Experience tells me that one thing or another WILL go wrong, be it blight, carrot fly, white rot, wind damage or incompetence.

I told you he was an idiot!

Rafa Benitez has said Gerrard will continue to lead Liverscum out of the tunnel. Just as soon as he's dug it!

Sow those onions and shallots

Well I'm glad that load of nonsense (Christmas) is over and done with for another year. And hasn't the choice of telly programmes been absolutely crap? Apart from a few back editions of Ground Force and Griff Rhys-Jones 'Mountain' it's been truly awful.



Yesterday I had 4 box tickets through one our suppliers to watch the Newcastle-Liverscum game. Can't decide whether Liverscum are serious threats to Man U or whether Newcastle were seriously crap but we had an excellent day out all the same. Newcastle is a really amazing city and I'd advice anyone to have a day or night out there by the quayside. You have to feel sorry for the fanatical Newcastle supporters who turn out 50,000+ for every home game and then get served up such an inept display as that. Despite being in amongst the Newcastle fans I had a right twat of a (Irish) Liverpool supporter next to me. God I so wanted to smash the bastard's face in! However, this is a peaceful blog and I could never promote such a thing. (Hopefully, someone else will have done it!)



In the next few days I want to sow my onions for the 8oz/250g classes, the varieties I have are Vento and Tasco. It's been cold here over Xmas so I'm in no rush but I do want to get them sown before the first week of January as the idea is to get them grown and harvested by mid August at the latest for them to be ripened in time for the show season (for me the end of August). I shall sow in small trays of compost and keep them indoors. Once the seedlings are at the 'crook' stage I will prick them out into cell trays and put them in my greenhouse under lights in a 'growing chamber' of some description which I shall have to build. I find the growlight gives out quite a bit of heat and this usually keeps them ticking along and keeps them reasonably warm but I will still keep an eye out on the weather forecasts. If a hard frost is forecast I will bring them indoors overnight.

I shall also be potting up my shallots in 2" square pots in the greenhouse. The compost will be watered and the shallot just pressed into it, after which I shall not water again for a few weeks, encouraging good root formation. Shallots are hardy beasts and will survive low temperatures.

An important task I will be undertaking in the next few days is to mark off all my sowing dates in my new RHS diary. I have about a dozen of these now stretching back over the years and carefully transfer my dates from last year's to this, making any minor adjustments according to how varieties grew last season. I also make notes of my tap root mixes and make entries when these have to be ready by, as well as marking when all the Shows I intend to enter are likely to be.

One extra show that I've 'pencilled' in is Malvern as I'm hoping to have a go at some classes in the Midland Championships of the National Vegetable Society. Sadly, this will mean I will be putting in a few less entries in the other village shows that I enter as I want to make sure I give a good account of myself at a higher level. Well....that's the plan for now at any rate!

And the winner is..........

It's time for the much coveted Annual Smithyveg Awards (this is the inaugural year!) for the best exhibits I've seen in the last season.



The first award is for the best exhibit during the season grown by me!

In 3rd place my tomatoes at Hathern. http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/08/toms-at-hathern-2008.html

In 2nd place my Sweet Candle stump carrots http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/09/sweet-candle-again.html at Sutton Bonington which also won the carrot class at Littleover a week later

And the winner is......my 'Pinnacle' parsnips at Leicester Show which were described as 'national standard' by a fellow grower (I may have mentioned that once or twice before !!) http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/08/best-in-show.html



The next award is for the best exhibit at a show I exhibited at that was not grown by me!

In 3rd place are the runner beans grown by Mr M Housden at Hathern

In 2nd place is the 8oz onions grown by Mr Ian Justice at Sturton show

And the winner is the blanch leeks also grown by Mr Ian Justice at Sturton which also won best in show. They were suberb....and I really should have taken a photo of them !!!



The 3rd award of the night is for the best vase of dahlias grown by me or anyone!

All 3 prizes go to Mr Kev Broxholme as he seemed to win every dahlia class at every show I attended this season. Big headed sod! http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/10/blyton-lady-in-red-and-blyton-eureka.html

The coveted award for spouting the biggest load of horticultural horsecrap goes to
Garden Organic based at Ryton for the 15th year running. You really do talk the biggest crock of bollocks!

The newcomer of the year award goes jointly to
Steve Turnbull http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/09/well-done-steve.html and James Park http://digtoplant.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-weekend.html

Keep up the good work guys



The penultimate award is the 'I was robbed' award

This season it goes to Liam for his excellent looking collection http://veg4show.blogspot.com/2008/09/nas.html which was beaten by some dodgy looking carrots and two sets of spuds! 6 distinct types should be exactly that!!!



And the final award is for the best dishes I witnessed all season at National Level

3rd place goes to Dave Thornton's shallots at Malvern

2nd place goes to Andrew Jones' tomatoes at Malvern which were narrowly pipped......(fanfare)

1st place Sherie Plumb's incredible runner beans also at Malvern. http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/09/sherie-plumb-queen-of-spuds.html



It only remains for me to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who is sad enough to read this blog. I'm already making plans for next season but as yet I've done nothing in the garden. I hope to get out over the holiday and do a bit of clearing and tidying but the Peak District is also calling me. I need to get some fresh air inside my lungs as I seem to have spent the last 2 months either stuck in an office or a car!

Oh....and one final award for the most gorgeous creature on Earth! http://smithyveg.blogspot.com/2008/08/21-years-ago-today.html

Best team in the World !

And that's a FACT!

:o(

Been involved in making people redundant this week.....wouldn't wish it on anybody. My sincerest best wishes to anyone losing their job in the coming months. There are going to be some dark months ahead.

Hehehehe

A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'

'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?

''I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?''

Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and my dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!

''Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time… What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?

''Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan."