I'm having to severely limit the amount of times I go down my garden to look at my long and stump carrots. This is because when I behold their magnificence I'm getting huge erections and the sudden rush of blood is causing me to black out!
Last night I had a visit from Dave Thornton National Secretary of the NVS, a man who hands out compliments like Andy Murray lets out a smile, i.e. not very often! I'd girded myself for a barrage of pisstaking but by the time he left me he was a distinctly worried man in view of a little wager we're having this season again regarding the number of tickets we gain at 4 or 5 shows we're both entering. Last season he beat me hands down and took the tenner off me. This season we've upped the ante to 20 quid and i'm hoping I'll have to take some moth spray with me to the last show at Derby in October when he has to open his hitherto fast-shut wallet.
He was very impressed with the foliage on my Sweet Candle and long carrots, saying that his own foliage was barely half the size of mine. When you consider he is the current National long carrot champion then I appear to be doing something right this season and it certainly looks the part.
I also had a visit last week from another fellow grower John Ellis who had visited the great John Branham's garden a few days before and he reckoned my foliage was even better than his! But of course with long roots it doesn't matter a jot and you can never tell what lies beneath until the day before the show, but if you have strong healthy tops you're halfway there.
He did pick fault with my leeks saying his were three times the size of mine. All I know is that at this stage of the season these are without doubt the best looking and biggest I've ever had so i'm not unduly worried at this point in time. I thought one or two might be going to seed but they're showing no sign as yet and I think they'd have gone by now if they were.
My celery isn't really bulking out below despite giving them a shit load of feed but the size of the tops and the lovely condition of the leaflets means I'm hopeful the size of the stalk will follow eventually.
I just need to work out what to spend my 20 quid on in October now? I think I shall probably put it towards some goodies at the excellent Scottish Branch seminar on the 19th November when Peter Glazebrook will be talking about growing large onions. There is also another talk on growing caulis. As I need to grow better onions and have given up growing caulis because I'm useless at them these two talks couldn't be better timed. Should be another grand day out and a chance to catch up with my scottish buddies again. Wonder if Andy Murray will have worked out how to stop letting England down by then?
Showing posts with label Dave Thornton is a bastard and his life will be hell from now on. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dave Thornton is a bastard and his life will be hell from now on. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Gotcha!
Aaaaaaargh!
The older one's among thee will remember the TV programme 'Noel's House Party' when Noel Edmunds would trick a well-known celebrity with some bizarre scheme to emerge with a 'Gotcha Oscar' at the end of it. Some of them appeared so far-fetched as you sat with the insider knowledge in your living room you wondered how any of them ever fell for some of the stunts.
Well I cannot believe I've fallen for this one today. In fact I'm devastated. I emailed Dave Thornton from work with a photo of the yellow tipping on some of my Kestrel leaves. His reply was quite alarming. "Your Kestrel will be dead within 2 weeks. Wet crack".
In a panic I quickly googled 'wet crack' to find out if there was anything that could be done to avert disaster. The list of websites that came up was like a who's who of the most debauched porn imaginable....and I imagine an awful lot of it! It will certainly take some explaining to the geeks in our IT Dept but to be fair they didn't believe me before when I insisted I'd merely mistyped the name of an old college friend I was trying to get back in touch with, Alan Entry.
The older one's among thee will remember the TV programme 'Noel's House Party' when Noel Edmunds would trick a well-known celebrity with some bizarre scheme to emerge with a 'Gotcha Oscar' at the end of it. Some of them appeared so far-fetched as you sat with the insider knowledge in your living room you wondered how any of them ever fell for some of the stunts.
Well I cannot believe I've fallen for this one today. In fact I'm devastated. I emailed Dave Thornton from work with a photo of the yellow tipping on some of my Kestrel leaves. His reply was quite alarming. "Your Kestrel will be dead within 2 weeks. Wet crack".
In a panic I quickly googled 'wet crack' to find out if there was anything that could be done to avert disaster. The list of websites that came up was like a who's who of the most debauched porn imaginable....and I imagine an awful lot of it! It will certainly take some explaining to the geeks in our IT Dept but to be fair they didn't believe me before when I insisted I'd merely mistyped the name of an old college friend I was trying to get back in touch with, Alan Entry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
