tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-320260502024-02-19T08:09:54.880+00:00Smithyveg!I have been growing and showing veg since 1996, a brilliant hobby contrary to popular belief and the views of my mates who think I’m a big poof (I’ve got nothing against poofs however!). This is just a chart of my progress for the 2017 season, if you have any specific questions about ‘showing’ then email me on smithyveg@aol.com and I’ll do my best to answer them. Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.comBlogger1205125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-80238416116388864252020-10-23T15:45:00.003+01:002020-10-23T15:45:31.842+01:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">3rd in parsnips, National Championships held at New Forest Show July 2019.</div>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-40981055058838168362017-11-10T15:35:00.002+00:002017-11-10T15:36:24.196+00:00Footnote<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When I started showing some 23 years ago I could never have
imagined that one day I’d be stood up in front of some of the country’s top
amateur growers giving them a talk about my</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">showing career, but this is what happened to me last weekend at Medwyn
Williams’ annual seminar in Llanberis. I’ve often wanted to attend this seminar
during my showing years but never got around to it so I jumped at the chance to
give a talk entitled ’20 years of showing vegetables, flowers…and cakes!’ I
thought it was well received but even so I was gobsmacked when a few top, top
growers also commended me at the end of the weekend and said they voted my talk
their favourite. This is me with my fellow speakers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">I couldn’t end this blog without one final
mention of a wonderful young man who I had the pleasure to meet a couple of times and who I was shocked to
learn had died in his sleep on 29<sup>th</sup> October at the way too early age
of 27. Adam Greathead was a follower of this blog from its earliest days and I
used to regularly correspond with him. He was an avid allotment gardener,
showman and had several jobs in horticulture and will be sadly missed, but for
such a young man he packed a lot in and achieved much in his short life.
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">Farewell Adam, but I’ll be closely inspecting the flower
beds that God will no doubt ask you tend when we meet up again in a few years
time!</span></span><br />
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<br />Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-27724501780689578092017-09-25T17:06:00.004+01:002017-09-25T17:06:47.493+01:00Done
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">When I started showing over 20 years ago I never dared dream
that one day I’d be able to call myself a National champion but that dream came
true on Saturday, albeit in a class I wasn’t expecting to win namely 250g
onions. Having gone all around the benches with only a couple of placings to
show for my efforts on both sides of the marquee I have to say I was feeling a
little demoralised but the very last result I got to there was bright red
ticket with my name on it, so I’m now able to go out on a real high.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">If I’m being totally honest I got real lucky as there was a
much better set on the Malvern side which I feel sure would have taken the
honours, grown by Mark Hall, a previous winner of this class, but as he was a
judge for the National he couldn’t enter it. And the exhibits grown by other
growers who have won this class in the past, such as Sherie Plumb and big
Ronnie Jackson were nowhere near as good as they usually bench so I really did
strike lucky in a fallow year it seems. If ever there was proof that you need
to be in it to win it then I provided it on Saturday, as although I always felt
I was in with a shout of a ticket I don’t think I’d have come close to winning
it in other years. Whatever, my name’s now in the record books and they can’t
take it away from me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">When I pulled my parsnips on Friday morning I really did
feel that was the class I was most likely to win, as they were probably the
best I’ve ever grown at first glance. Once cleaned up they were perhaps a bit
rougher than I would have liked but I still felt that if anyone had better then
fair play to them. As it was there were a total of 4 entries that were better
but a 5</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> in the National Championships against the best root
growers in the land is not something to be sniffed at.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My long carrots were a big disappointment. I had saved
plenty for this show and having won at the Welsh only 2 weeks previously I had
high hopes of challenging at Malvern. Those hopes soon started to evaporate as
I pulled root after root that was heavy at the top but just didn’t carry their
weight very far down. I eventually managed this passable set below, but a
slightly smaller middle one let me down on uniformity, and a few rough edges
certainly didn’t help. I am now looking forward to a life without shifting several
tonnes of sand each Spring, of boring five foot holes and sieving several
gallons of compost.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I performed well in the collection classes, coming 7</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;">
out of 14 entries in the Millennium and a mere one point away from a 5</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;">
placed ticket. My stumps and spuds just weren’t good enough really. I have had
several instances now of being no more than a point away, sometimes only half a
point. Frustrating, but it does show the incredible levels some of these guys
are performing at year in, year out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I was 11</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> of 21 entries in the 3x2 class, but
this one was no surprise to me, and I was just happy to have beaten so many
other top growers on points. My rough long carrots were my downfall on this
one, but they were all I had to go with. I have some decent caulis forming and
if the show was a week later I may have just edged into the tickets if I’d had
those ready instead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">And finally I was placed 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> again in the
National Trug Championships and this result did annoy me a little as I felt I
surely must win this one when I’d finished it. There was one trug I recognised
as being done by one of the regular winners felt mine was better in terms of
the quality of veg on display. Alas, twas not to be and the judge later
informed me that he was struggling to split us and that he felt my homemade
trug just let me down as it was a bit tatty. A little galling as I was trying
to achieve a slightly shabby, rustic feel to it, I certainly didn’t want not
perfection, but the judge didn’t get that so I’ll just have to take it on the
chin. Oh well, I’ll never have to do one of the stupid things ever again!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">And that’s it, the journey is over, the race is run, and
despite winning a National title it didn’t persuade me to carry on as I’ve
really had enough and want to do other things for personal reasons which I
explained to several people over the weekend. Driving back yesterday evening I
felt only relief that I won’t have to put myself through this anymore. I’ve had
a lot of good times showing my veg for over 2 decades, and made some brilliant
friends that I will certainly be keeping in regular touch with. I’ve also made
a few enemies but the least said about some of those officious wank stains the
better. It only remains for me to say that if any of you ever, ever, ever have
any questions about the hobby that you can’t find answers for then please just
drop me an email (</span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><span style="font-family: calibri;">smithyveg@aol.com</span></a><span style="font-family: calibri;">) and
I’ll always find time to reply with as much help as I can muster. I would also
recommend, as I often have in the past, that if you want to be the best,
whether it’s just at your local show or even if you have higher aspirations
then you really do need to join The National Vegetable Society. For the first
12 years or so of my showing career my progress was slow to say the least. No
fucker at the local shows ever wanted to tell you anything, but at the highest
level I have only ever found growers who want to help and encourage you to
improve.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Happy growing, happy showing everyone, over and most
definitely out!</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-10365700406328899572017-09-21T12:51:00.001+01:002017-09-21T12:51:24.434+01:00Malvern here we come<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently there’s more than one way to skin a cat. There is
also more than one way to promote the interests of a society or body, and the
power of the internet is sometimes overlooked when it comes round to handing
out the recognition gongs. So no doubt when the AGM’s happen across the land
there will be lots of shiny medals handed out to the usual uninspiring jobsworths
whilst those with alternative ideas and a bit of gob get overlooked as usual.
Fucked if I care. The so-called power of the internet is also taken way too
seriously by some folk who get upset over a throwaway joke so they can sod off
and find someone else to judge their show from now on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyhoo, in terms of Cape Canaveral we’re now at the
launchpad and climbing the ladders up to the rocket, ready to commence
countdown (What a totally wank analogy, must do better!). I have already lifted
a lot of the 39 varieties of veg I’ll be using in the trug which I have no
doubt will collapse the benches at Malvern. If I don’t win it will probably be
because it isn’t technically a trug, more of a wheelbarrow without wheels.
However, I have come a long way since I produced this trug 10 years ago for my
local show. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Every veg on it was red (or purple-y), as a sort of homage to the
World’s greatest football team. Happy days now that Manchester United (did you know it's now 10,000 days since Liverpool won the League?) are once
more leaving the rest of the Premier League in their wake and playing the sort
of orgasmic footy we’ve been used to for so long. I once started plans to grow
blue veg in honour of Maggie Thatcher, Britain’s greatest prime minister but
decided a trug full of Blue Lake French beans, the only ‘blue’ veg I could
think of, probably wouldn’t have got me very far. <br />
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My 250g onions have been weighed and sorted for the sets I
need and boxed up so all I have to do now is load and go, and it will be easy
stress free staging at the show. Outside chance of a low ticket with those possibly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tuesday night I lifted my globe beetroot as I need a set of
3 for the Malvern side and a 4 for the Millennium class at the National. They
had been growing in a variety of deep beds allowing me to excavate a very deep
hole beside them in order to get as much of the fine tap root up as I possibly
could. Having pulled over 30 I was really struggling to sort my best set of 4
and didn’t feel any of them cut the mustard but just as it was getting dark I
gave up and went with 2 sets plus a few for the trug and trudged up to the
house to clean them. Once under the tap and cleaned up I have to say they
didn’t look too bad so that cheered me up no end, and they are now immersed in
water to which a good dash of vinegar and salt has been added. I’ve always done
this as I was once told it helps to enhance the colour but in all seriousness I
think it makes absolutely no odds whatsofuckingever, and all it does is make
you crave some fish and chips. I won’t trim the foliage until I’m at the show. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have also sorted out all the black display cloths I need
for the various classes, had them washed and ironed and put into plastic bags
with a label on each bag saying which is for which class. Another labour saving
tip to avoid last minute panic. When I started showing over 20 years ago I did
most of this the night before a show and still found time to bake a few cakes.
The cakes were shit but I found time to bake them nonetheless. Talking of cakes a few of us are having highly serious mince pie competition at Malvern, to be judged by Medwyn Williams. We had a very similar one last year with rock cakes and despite baking the best looking, best tasting, and most evenly distributed fruit-wise I was inexplicably placed last due to some underhanded cheating by my so-called fellow competitors. This year I have a secret plan to ensure I will emerge triumphant however.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last night I had all sorts of plans to lift and prepare a
variety of vegetables but around 3pm I got a call from the Daily Mail who had
found a photo I had posted on Twitter of the large ‘quality’ carrot I’m going
to enter into the Giant Veg classes at Malvern, and “did I have a small child I
could borrow to make it look even bigger?” To cut a long story short when we
got home from work (collecting my eldest grandson en route) we spent over an
hour having our photos taken with the offending root, so watch out for yours
truly in tomorrow’s DM. Page 3 would be appropriate I reckon. </div>
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This set me right
back and all I had time to do was to get my stump rooted carrots up, which
turned out to be the biggest disappointment since I tried removing the shell
from my racing snail to make him more streamlined only to find that it actually made him
more sluggish. They were crap. Utter crap. I got an ‘ok’ set for the Millennium
Class but it is only ok at best and this is one crop I shall be glad to say
goodbye to.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One bit of good news is I have a reasonable entry in Class
26 for kohl rabi. I managed to get a couple of sets, one quite big and one
smaller but more fresh looking and that’s the set I decided to go for. I just
hope I’ve trimmed them correctly but I’ve left everything long and will have to
have a quick look at everyone else’s on Saturday morning to see if I need to
cut back a bit further.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And one piece of remarkable luck I had over last weekend was
my wife offering to wash my carrots for me in order to help out. She’s never
offered to do that before so Tuesday night I pulled a reject one with a large
split for her to have a practice on. After no more than 20 minutes she emerged
from the bathroom with a carrot that looked way better than anything I’ve ever
done myself, even allowing for the split. She had even removed all the fine root
hairs and used a soft toothbrush on the crown. What a woman. I just hope I can
give her some roots of real quality on Friday morning for her to do her magic
with. Amazing, considering all this comes less than a week after she threatened
to leave me because she reckons I always exaggerate things too much. I was so
shocked I almost tripped over my cock.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-80707865409618735372017-09-14T16:51:00.004+01:002017-09-14T16:53:37.131+01:00Squeaky bum time<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">On Monday evening I thought I’d get the schedules out for
Malvern and try and work out what classes I wanted to enter at the National and
over on the Malvern side too, as (in my head) entries had to be in by the end
of this week. That’s when I nearly soiled my silky Calvin Klein knock-offs, for
the closing date for the National was Tuesday. After dancing around the kitchen
for a few moments effing and jeffing I eventually calmed down and quickly
emailed my entry off to the show secretary Pat Brown who acknowledged receipt
the next day. Damned spiffing bird she is too, very hard working and all shows
need a Pat Brown or else they’ll die out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I wasn’t going to enter another trug class ever, ever, ever,
after coming second last season with a trug that needed a squadron of the Royal
Engineers to lift the fucking thing but as I was writing my entries on the
Malvern entry form then ‘5A’ somehow managed to dribble out of my pen and onto
the paper. Why the thundering fuck have I done that for fuck’s sake? Ah well,
when it’s in thee blood tha’kno’s! It’s now called The National Trug
Championship no less and i’ve already started assembling it in my garage by
placing a marrow and some onions to get a basic structure and more veg will be
added as it becomes available during next week when I start lifting for
Malvern. The key is to get as much of the big stuff placed so there are no big
gaps and they support each other during transportation. ‘Flowery’ bits such as
small tomatoes, brussels and chillis can be added once it’s on the showbench to
fill any smaller gaps and then any holes are filled with parsley to hide all
the foam packing beneath. Hopefully I can go one better than last season when I
was actually disappointed to only come 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">. I’d thought I’d got it
but hey ho, I won one or two other things elsewhere so I shouldn’t grumble. I've since been told the judge wouldn't have liked my big marrow at the front!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">A first for me is going to be the Giant Veg Championships
held on the other side of the showground, where I’ve entered a carrot in the
heavy class. It’s actually one of my ‘quality’ carrots that has grown way too
big, some 11 inches around. When I tried to pull it last week thinking it might
do for the 6x1 class in Wales I couldn’t budge it so it has probably carried
it’s weight well down too and has a lot of surface area so it’ll take a bit
more excavating. It’s proved to me that New Red Intermediate can certainly be
used for the giant heavyweights where they will dig the seedlings up early in
its life and cut the tap root to encourage forking. I have a vested interest in
this class now I know that a certain grower in Wales has a potential world
beater and has used my seed. The Giants go down to 6</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> place so you
never know I might get a ticket. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’ve entered cucumbers at the National and I finally have a
few likely suspects growing well having not exhibited a cucumber yet this
season. Indeed I cut my first cu this morning before coming to work, carefully
wrapped it in clingfilm and popped it carefully in the fridge to await another
couple of the several other suspects to catch up. I made a cardboard template
to check the lengths against over the next week. When the National was last
held at Malvern in 2012 I broke my National duck by coming 4</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
(below) with 3 large fruits but I’m going for smaller ones this year as they
can lose a bit of colour if you leave them on the plant too long. I’m also
straightening the fruits as they form and it’s best to do this at the end of
the day when they’re a bit less turgid. You need to be careful in your
manipulation mind. Think wanking a sore knob and you get an idea of how gentle
you have to be. In theory you no longer have to exhibit them with flowers still
intact but everyone still does so if yours falls off just stick it back on with
a tiny dab of superglue. Every fucker still does it, some even glue totally
fresh fucking flowers on!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’ve also gone and entered celery where you need a set of 3.
Having gone through all the remaining plants on Monday and removed any split
outer sticks they are all looking quite healthy and relatively slug damage free
although I find it almost impossible to grow them perfectly clean, as do many
other growers it appears. There was a very nice set of celery at Carmarthen
grown by Jim Thompson but I don’t think I was a million miles from the other
ticket winners. However, at the last Malvern National celery was an incredibly
well supported class as shown below, so anything less than exceptional isn’t
going to get a look in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have entered stumps at Malvern on both sides of the
marquee, more of a just in case than anything else. My stumps so far this
season have been awful, I’d actually go as far as saying completely shit,
either pointy, too thin or having large holes in them. I have a 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
bed growing that were set away a week after the first and these have appeared
much healthier all season for some reason. The shoulders seem bigger too so who
knows. My main aim is to get a set of 4 for the Millennium collection and
anything else would be a bonus, so if I also get a set of 5 for the National
and/or a set of 3 for the Malvern side then I’ll have been a very lucky boy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">One class that I won’t be entering is for 5 onions 1-1 ½ kg
as I simply cannot get them ripe. 2 are ok and will appear in my trug but the
rest are as green as the day I lifted them. Pity, as well ripened I reckon I
may have had an outside chance of a ticket and indeed one of the ripened ones
went into my Welsh 6x1 entry and scored quite well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have once again entered the 3x2 class, where you need 3
different 20 pointer veg, 2 of each. Back in 2011 at my first National I came
about 14</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> out of 20 with long carrots/parsnips and spuds and if I’m
honest I was a country mile away from the tickets, along with many others I
guess it has to be said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I think I was 11</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> out of 20 or so at Malvern in
2012 with long carrots/parsnips and celery but it was certainly a higher
scoring exhibit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">7</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> out of 14 at Harrogate would appear to be a
similar result but I think my parsnips were the highest scoring of all the
parsnips in the class so I was getting closer. Weird lighting at Harrogate!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">At Dundee in 2015 I was a mere half point out of the tickets
but I don’t feel this exhibit was as good as my two previous efforts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This year I’ll be going for long carrots/parsnips and celery
as per Malvern 2012, so I’ll be hoping to go that final push and get into the
tickets. If my long roots score as highly as they did in Wales then I might
just do it, but this class is always a hugely popular one so it’ll be a massive
achievement if I could.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And finally, Dan Unsworth texted me in a tizzy the other day
as he’d just woken up from a dream where the blonde one in Abba was giving him
a blow job, and he was understandably annoyed that he’d not finished the dream. Dan had only
woken up because his beard was tickling his bollocks.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-75823345729995217092017-09-11T15:14:00.001+01:002017-09-11T18:06:17.220+01:00Welsh wows and what the f***s!<br>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">On Friday evening we travelled over 200 miles to compete in
the annual Welsh Branch Championships of the NVS and after a long journey the
first problem that faced us was manoeuvring the car down a ridiculously narrow
alley at the side of our hotel to their car park. Despite pulling the wing
mirrors in I was still sucking my breath in to try and make us smaller! Further
shocks came as I tried to get a few hours kip which soon became almost
impossible as the dregs of Carmarthen nightlife seemed to use the street below
our room window for a slanging match. Rising at 3.15am for the 8 mile journey
to the venue I passed dozens of revellers still going strong in the many pubs,
but whilst their night was drawing to a close mine was just about to begin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When I staged my veg at the Royal Pavillion at the 2011
National in Llangollen I didn’t think I’d ever come across a more dramatic
place for a veg show. Walking into the domed glasshouse of the Welsh Botanic
Garden was an even bigger wow moment however and proved to be a truly stunning
place set your exhibits out in. And straight away I thought I’d potentially
wasted my time as there was some superb stuff already on the benches but if
I’ve learned one thing it’s never be put off by first glances as you never know
what faults you can’t see on other people’s stuff, and you can be sure the
judge will find them. One entry I didn’t manage to get down was in the National
Tap Root Championships of Great Britain which was really the whole point of
entering in the first place, to fulfil a dream I first had when I started
showing over 20 years ago. Unfortunately my long beet just didn’t come up to
the desired standard so I went to plan B and entered parsnips and long carrots
instead. And it wasn’t a bad plan B as I managed to win the long carrots and
get 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> in parsnips, although I have to say I felt my long carrots
were as rough as a badger’s snatch. I’d had to scrub them more than I would
have liked as there was a lot of black marks at the skin lenticels where the
root hairs emerge and I just couldn’t get them as clean as I would have
preferred. Having said that several people told me they were still clear
winners but I know I’ll need better looking roots for the National in 2 weeks
time. Still, it was nice to take a few quid off the elderly class sponsor!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I was altogether much happier with my parsnips and thought I
may even have won, they certainly looked the best set on Sunday afternoon when
the dry atmosphere of the glasshouse was rendering many of the exhibits quite
dehydrated in appearance, but I was happy that Mark Perry won the class, and
here he is doing his best silverback gorilla impression. He was so happy to win that he left the trophy behind at the function and had to come back for it. Tit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">If anything went against my nips it was probably that I had
one a bigger diameter at the top and I was in two minds about pulling more to
see if I could get a better match up, but in the end I decided to leave well
alone and save the rest for the National when Mark and I will be doing it all
again, this time however we’ll be up against even stiffer competition so we’ll
need even better roots. I was also in the tickets with my tomatoes (3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">),
250g onions (3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">) and marrows (2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">) so all in all a
really good return as this level of competition is the top of the tree believe
me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The Welsh Branch has a collection class for 6 single veg
which is always a well supported class as every exhibitor will have that one
single specimen that doesn’t match any others but is otherwise superb, and in
keeping with several other attempts at this type of collection I was
frustratingly out of the tickets by only half a point. Whilst I had the highest
pointed parsnip and long carrot my scabby potato only scored 12.5 out of 20 so
it was my own fault, as I should have put a tomato or cucumber in instead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">One other piece of news that absolutely blew me away was
that a chap in Minnesota USA has just broken the World record for the heaviest
carrot, a record held by our own Peter Glazebrook. So what I hear you ask?
Well, amazing as it sounds I actually supplied this guy with the seed in a
roundabout way. I set my 5</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> place winning carrots from the 2015
Dundee National away for seed, harvesting them late last year intending to use
them myself and give away any surplus to anyone who wanted some, advertising
this on a couple of Facebook pages and several growers took me up on the offer. Kevin Fortey of GiantVegUK heard of this and asked me for some seed to send to
America as they use New Red Intermediate, they just grow it in a different way
to get the heavyweights. I sent him a load and thought no more of it, doubting
that giant veg of such proportions could ever come from my seed, despite the
fact that the roots they came from were quite a heavy set. Apparently there is
a chap in South Wales who is growing a carrot that may even beat this one, and
he is also using my seed, so I’ll be very interested to see the outcome at
Malvern. Happy days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And on Saturday afternoon, just before we set off to the
prize giving function hosted by a very generous Welsh Branch that had made us
very welcome all weekend, I was asked by a fellow hotel guest what time
Liverpool kicked off. About every 15 minutes I told him.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-77332382011882766462017-09-05T17:02:00.000+01:002017-09-05T17:02:52.278+01:00First show of 2017
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A top grower (well he always insisted he was a top grower)
was once quite sniffy about competing in local shows, implying that it was
beneath him now that he was winning at NVS Branch shows with his cabbages and
cucumbers. Not me. I still get a big buzz out of winning a ticket at my local show and
it was with some sadness that I entered my veg on Saturday morning for the last
time. I know the organisers have been a little bit worried about the effect my
giving up showing will have on the show as I have supported it with multiple
entries since my first show here in 2001, but there were a few new exhibitors
putting in some reasonable quality stuff so I sincerely hope the show will
continue to thrive. These shows are the breeding grounds for anyone with
aspirations to go onto bigger things but should always be supported as much as
possible. And besides I said I’d still try and support them with some baking in
future years. However, they told me not to threaten them with that shit. As it was I
walked off with the coveted Society Cup for most points, and my name will now
be etched on the side of it for a record extending 14</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> time in 17
years. I’m rather stupidly proud of that.</span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I said in the previous post I was particularly pleased
with my winning long carrots which were quite a small set compared to many more
I appear to have growing. If they carry their weight down like these I’m going
to be in a position to compete at the bigger shows to come. One slight concern
on a single carrot I pulled for another class was what appeared to be cavity
spot which is said not to affect long carrots as much as stumps. I actually
used the infected sand from my cavity spot infected stump beds to fill extra
carrot drums thinking things would be fine so we shall have to see if this is
going to be a major problem for me over the next few weeks.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-dBCIaqQFwUF22ck03f6Or7Ng0DjD68DVZAY0yx7w5p8XAh50YHGv7PcdeH6Aq2nHwpa2RQ6ze6Vw7eOg4q3Ckjg7tlmznfIhiUmuMPeA5r0e9HJJ29tySuRkgzTCNNbm1ZpUA/s1600/IMG_4023+%2528002%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-dBCIaqQFwUF22ck03f6Or7Ng0DjD68DVZAY0yx7w5p8XAh50YHGv7PcdeH6Aq2nHwpa2RQ6ze6Vw7eOg4q3Ckjg7tlmznfIhiUmuMPeA5r0e9HJJ29tySuRkgzTCNNbm1ZpUA/s400/IMG_4023+%2528002%2529.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My stump carrots were almost embarrassing to me. Yes, they
won, but if I’d put this set in a National Veg show I’d have been soundly
beaten with a sharpened swede, they really were utter wank. I’ll be pulling my stumps for the Welsh Branch
Championships tomorrow night and if they’re anything remotely like this they’re
going to feed my grandson’s rabbit.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgugL-92BGuGMWxXr1prib5s2MYoSkLJaMNsuOtnxuJIeHDhBekWgPfjyZrQG1CDYHojgGjiFhnTVpReV1vfJwUnq6NA9fs11ikQlxUAPyD7PXJqfMGyb_zmqdU9CRZZgkKFmcSWw/s1600/IMG_4024+%2528002%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgugL-92BGuGMWxXr1prib5s2MYoSkLJaMNsuOtnxuJIeHDhBekWgPfjyZrQG1CDYHojgGjiFhnTVpReV1vfJwUnq6NA9fs11ikQlxUAPyD7PXJqfMGyb_zmqdU9CRZZgkKFmcSWw/s400/IMG_4024+%2528002%2529.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Being a local show you can put more than one entry in a
class so over the years in an effort to support the show I have often made multiple
entries, whilst being wary of not wanting to do too much and put people off.
It’s a fine line but sometimes it’s best to just put one in if you know you’re
probably going to win it so that someone else can experience the thrill of
getting a ticket. One class I did pull a few entries in was the any other veg
class, and my rhubarb was a worthy winner beating my marrows into 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
and my turnips into 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;">. Other exhibitors’ entries in the class
included kale, radish, chard, squash and a very large pair of caulis that were
unfortunately badly discoloured and well past their best.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawYrG-QD1HfZOK7B__ebFPXi3_37-gYx7O3iBZFjh_wQGwTPp7uVx6iWrzE21O8WsVOCXAQaP4u6noEbd4yx0klHtgNgIyl6lOWy0GXCxEYgFLG5cjeNOjORZxZXiOfDjKcMpXQ/s1600/IMG_4034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawYrG-QD1HfZOK7B__ebFPXi3_37-gYx7O3iBZFjh_wQGwTPp7uVx6iWrzE21O8WsVOCXAQaP4u6noEbd4yx0klHtgNgIyl6lOWy0GXCxEYgFLG5cjeNOjORZxZXiOfDjKcMpXQ/s320/IMG_4034.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Q0UpJ9cgskOSLcUrH4D3LCu2ugEIGmXASwudEyd5rUV3UYa_00qsHn0eO6UCZzno98GLbKPa_Yb5htDL6i8YIWc_ph0b8Gs8MDAfNM9Ksn6MvJ6VBxsqehCkbtRtEtqrtw2aBg/s1600/IMG_4033+%2528002%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Q0UpJ9cgskOSLcUrH4D3LCu2ugEIGmXASwudEyd5rUV3UYa_00qsHn0eO6UCZzno98GLbKPa_Yb5htDL6i8YIWc_ph0b8Gs8MDAfNM9Ksn6MvJ6VBxsqehCkbtRtEtqrtw2aBg/s320/IMG_4033+%2528002%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had 1</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> and 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> in the tomato class
but was surprised my 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> place entry didn’t actually win. What do
you think?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qeaYHj0P0zlBWEuFve0K0d54ahd2vQFoWuNNZ_4iButLWMBT_06yVpna4W_QswR8Da4ZXPkbLdnrhutXvYGksaV20rb5QWpc7ZEgNLqAszA1HBApNke7n3C7rIbGDs-Fp4B08g/s1600/IMG_4029+%2528002%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qeaYHj0P0zlBWEuFve0K0d54ahd2vQFoWuNNZ_4iButLWMBT_06yVpna4W_QswR8Da4ZXPkbLdnrhutXvYGksaV20rb5QWpc7ZEgNLqAszA1HBApNke7n3C7rIbGDs-Fp4B08g/s400/IMG_4029+%2528002%2529.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmq5zfW39Hitl4D6-ad_RKBFfjAAbqV-x4Ik8G8CbKAEFDxMtLErblrpsMj_hZlwuMDpnC6y3cP3SA_Hq1gF5yMdJAix46npIfIIinoolnCotGxMpjWi8ZhQMgxhEXPzwD7Yzu2w/s1600/IMG_4030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmq5zfW39Hitl4D6-ad_RKBFfjAAbqV-x4Ik8G8CbKAEFDxMtLErblrpsMj_hZlwuMDpnC6y3cP3SA_Hq1gF5yMdJAix46npIfIIinoolnCotGxMpjWi8ZhQMgxhEXPzwD7Yzu2w/s400/IMG_4030.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The small fruited tomato class at any show is always well
contested and I was pleased to win with a set of Strillo, although I had to cut
over 50 to find a set of 10 that weren’t split. Fair to say I shan’t be growing
Strillo ever again.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMfokehVJwzcKYkvzjmVN5vcdNd6AtobNSTik49nSk5r9_JuFFGSvabu8tZAgEUoe8Z00_s4fVkpIYQi8iHqs6EbZW7XmgOBbgmj8gGXgf0xNs-6_eaox18yuvJTW6TQJ_7gOxrQ/s1600/IMG_4031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMfokehVJwzcKYkvzjmVN5vcdNd6AtobNSTik49nSk5r9_JuFFGSvabu8tZAgEUoe8Z00_s4fVkpIYQi8iHqs6EbZW7XmgOBbgmj8gGXgf0xNs-6_eaox18yuvJTW6TQJ_7gOxrQ/s400/IMG_4031.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I won the globe beet class with a nice set of 3 that I
thought I’d made a fatal mistake with when I was prepping them. I cut the
foliage as if I was prepping them for a National show when I suddenly clapped
my hands over my face as I realised our show asks for them to be shown ‘with
foliage’. Calming down I noticed that I had cut them long at first and
therefore there was some new middle foliage still visible so technically I
couldn’t be NAS’d and so it proved as far as the judge was concerned.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And the little fuchsia ‘Auntie Jinks’ that I’d been
nurturing all Spring & Summer won me another 1</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> place. Triffic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I said earlier, I’m now turning my thoughts to the Welsh
Branch of the NVS Branch Championships in Carmarthen this coming weekend,
assuming we’re not going to get nuked by North Korea and America before then,
and I emailed my entry form off yesterday morning. Saves the cost of a stamp
and doesn’t risk those spanners at Royal Mail losing it in transit. I have
entered the rather grandly named National Tap Root Championships of Great
Britain but it does all depend on how my long beet pull tonight. I’m having to
pull them so long before the show as the daylight hours are getting much less
in the evenings by the time those of us who work for a living manage to get
home. It’ll be carrots tomorrow night and parsnips on Thursday as we’re
travelling down on Friday evening so everything needs to be up and prepped in
good time. I’ve entered 9 classes in all plus a couple of back-ups, long
carrots and parsnips if the long beet doesn’t cut the mustard, but I shan’t
bother with those if they’re adequate for the tap root collection. There is
also another collection class for 3 sets of veg with a points value of 18 or
less, so I’ll hopefully be going for tomatoes, runner beans and stump carrots,
but this is usually a highly contested class so each veg will have to be tip
top.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And finally I was in bed the other night pulling off my
boxers when the wife walked in on me. “Please don’t do that to the dogs!” she
said.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-27131328992361624672017-09-01T15:25:00.000+01:002017-09-01T15:25:11.992+01:00A bug's life. And death.
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was major news recently that bugs in general must be in
serious decline because it had been noticed that our car windscreens have not
suffered the annual Summer splatfest, and the usual suspects such as Chris Packham
and Bill Oddie were stating that this was a terrible thing for the future of
mankind. Pair of cunts. The less bugs and nasties as far as I’m concerned the
better, it means less unappetising damage on our veggies, and who knows we may
not have to spray insecticides so much in future? I have noticed a pair of adolescent
blackbirds seem to be constantly on the ground in my garden, only fluttering
away at the last moment when I’ve approached so perhaps they are having to work
harder looking for food if it is indeed less abundant. Whatever, I’m sure the
bugs and beastie fuckers will return at some point, perhaps they’re just having
a fallow year?</span></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tomorrow is my local show and much of my veg is up and
prepped, including a pair of long carrots which I’m particularly pleased about.
They were a couple of the smallest I could find, but still 8” around the
shoulder, and carried their weight really well down the root, and were a
reasonable matching pair and I’d be very surprised if anyone has better. If what
I hope are my best specimens that I’m saving for later shows are the same then
they could be quite special. However, the set of stumps that I pulled can only
be described as utter wank. They are badly ribbed, too long and thin, and
pointier than Japanese tourist. I was all set to abandon any attempt at the National
Tap Root Championships of Great Britain next weekend, until I had a furtle on
the bottoms of half a dozen bigger looking roots by excavating an inspection
hole next to them, and delving my hand down for a fondle in the depths. They
all seemed to have better defined stump ends and were all the same length so
hopefully I can entice a matching pair from them. I replaced the sand so they
can stay fresh until I need to pull next Wednesday night. Tonight I shall pull
a pair of small parsnips, again leaving my best roots for bigger battles to
come, and at the last minute wash a couple of sets of scabby spuds that I
wouldn’t dare set on the benches at a National show, but which should still be
in the tickets at the weekend if I can rub of the few small patches of scab.</span></div>
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<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few admissions now. Back in late July/early August I
harvested 9 nice onions for the 1 ½ kg class at Malvern but I’ll be buggered if
I can get the fucking things to ripen. The key with getting large onions to
ripen appears to be getting them harvested early, as the later you get them up
the less likely they appear to want to ripen evenly. I’ve also had a couple go
rotten at the base although there was absolutely no sign of any rot when I got
them up. Fucking things. And you may remember the brilliant idea I had of
getting the globe beet up when they reached size, cutting off some of the
foliage and reburying them so that they didn’t grow any more. Well in that
sense it was a success as they didn’t, but they did go a bit soft and of course
the foliage went all floppy and thus no longer any good for showing, so all in
all it was a fucking stupid idea that Mark Perry suggested I try.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also started off back in the Spring by championing the
powers of Perlka to keep your brassica beds free of club root, but despite
using it I’ve lost so many caulis to this disease this season that I’m now
struggling to get a decent cauli head to show anywhere. Next season I shall try
watering dilute Jeyes Fluid into the planting holes, another remedy suggested
to me in the past to see if has any better success. If that doesn’t work it was
also Mark Perry’s idea. All in all I’m just wondering if my plot just needs a
damned good ‘rest’ which is exactly what it’s going to get from next year, so
that I can add lots more organic matter and perhaps experiment with compost
teas and the like. Thinking about it, for over 20 years all my growing has been
geared up to the show season, meaning that everything comes at once during
September when we have so much produce we end up giving a lot away that isn’t
show worthy or even composting it. It’s a bit of a criminal waste as well as a
drain on the soil, so time will tell if a more relaxed regime, with
successional sowing, little and often, </span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">and a more all year round production cycle
will give me healthier crops. Chris Packham would be proud of me. Cockney
tongue tied cunt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have a good weekend, i'll be back on Monday with news of my first show exploits. </span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-68068029142954048172017-08-30T09:25:00.000+01:002017-08-30T09:26:47.129+01:00Britain at its best<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It is my local show at the weekend, a typically British
affair as part of a large village fete with lots of other attractions going off. The horticultural show is on grass and under canvas and there really
is no other smell to compare, it’s truly wonderful especially if the sun
shines. As it will be my last I intend to enjoy the day and I hope those of you
who have similar such shows also enjoy some success and that you don’t have to
contend with a Harry Ecklethwaite as portrayed in Carrots at Dawn, the
brilliant novel written by my good pal Craven Morehead (damn fine fella,
brilliant grower, hung like a horse and should be running the country).</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">TWENTY
ONE</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">Show
Day arrives</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">A British village show held amongst the aroma
of newly cut grass under canvas is a truly unique affair to be witnessed
nowhere else in the World. It is often the one time of the year when the whole
community comes together, where lifelong friendships are forged and love
affairs sometimes begin, a time of happiness or perhaps remembrance and
reflection. Set against a backdrop of a brass band playing, maybe a World War
Two Spitfire roaring overhead or a steam engine hissing, a typical British
Summer’s afternoon will see hundreds of people strolling amongst the many
attractions with ice creams in their hand or else rushing for cover as a sudden
deluge descends. Invariably there are flower and vegetable competitions where
the best local growers will exhibit their prized onions, carrots, pumpkins and
chrysanthemums. The local ladies also come together to compete against each
other with their cakes, and jams, or their knitting and flower arrangements.
There are often painting and photography classes to tempt the local artists and
pretentious Lord Snowdon’s who will photo-shop their snaps to within an inch of
their lives so that they bear absolutely no resemblance to the image they
originally captured nor indeed a photograph as most normal people would
recognise it. Children will roll up with an assortment of animals made from
vegetables, the judge for this class, usually the local vicar or visiting mayor
often taking ages over his deliberations before deciding on a one-two-three,
sometimes bottling a decision entirely and giving each and every child a
‘highly commended’ and a chocolate bar. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">Most of this is intended to be in the name of
fun and indeed the majority of the participants enter into it with the same
spirit but often rivalries can span decades and encompass varying degrees of
bitterness between the protagonists. The nastiest of these rivalries usually
revolve around the horticultural classes and it is not uncommon for official
complaints to be made after judging by the grower who came second. Sabotage is
also something the growers have to watch out for, as Dick Tallboys had
discovered many years before. It is not uncommon at shows for exhibits to be
tampered with behind the owner’s back. For instance, cucumbers must be shown
with the flowers still intact but these very often mysteriously get detached
and are never seen again after the grower has left them on the staging bench,
thus resulting in him being marked down by the judges. Other tricks include
onions having finger nails furtively sunk into them to ruin the skin, or vases
of flowers emptied of water so that the flowers have wilted by the time they
are judged. A judge also has to be on the look-out for dirty tricks carried out
by the growers themselves to enhance their own produce, with pumpkins and marrows
often being internally syringed with water to make them weigh more, carrots may
have orange furniture polish expertly applied to a crack or a hole and in the
longest runner bean class exhibitors will splice two beans together by fixing
it to a wooden batten using tape to conveniently hide the join.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">Allaways-on-Cock’s annual show was no stranger
to such shenanigans. Like most similar shows the growers, bakers, painters and
florists had to display their exhibits by a certain time when the marquee will
be vacated by everyone except the esteemed judges and their accompanying
stewards. This was Harry Ecklethwaite’s stamping ground, his raison d’etre, his
beginning and his end. He always got to the marquee a few minutes before it
opened for entries at 8am on show day so that he could start reverently placing
his sixty or so exhibits in the many classes, thus giving him plenty of time to
get the task done before the judges turned up in a few hours. He also liked to
give himself plenty of time to weigh up the opposition as and when it appeared,
delaying them in conversation if needs be so that they became flustered and
made mistakes in their own staging. Four or five growers, sometimes more, from
the wider environs of Allaways would come to compete against Harry and Dick
when he was alive, but in all of its one hundred plus years the cup for most
points had never been won by anyone outside the village. Harry’s reputation
spread far and wide and many had tried to usurp him but to no avail, Harry
often using underhand methods, some of them described above to ensure such a
thing could never happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin: 0px;">On the occasion of this, the one hundredth
show, Harry woke unusually late having stupidly gone from a quick nightcap to
four or five large glasses of whisky, his banging head making him more
irritable than usual………</span></div>
Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-85776044889851980192017-08-25T15:41:00.000+01:002017-08-30T09:22:43.751+01:00Almost time for lift off<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">For most of us the show season is now well and truly upon us
and there’s diddly shit you can really do to alter the colour of the cards you’ll
be winning, if any, apart from continuing to keep on top of the usual pests. My
first show is not until next weekend, my local show, and for the first time for
as long as I can remember I won’t be entering runner beans or cucumbers. That’s
because I only sowed them with later shows in mind and after thinking I may
even have overcooked those I am now thinking I’ll be getting some on the bench
at either the Welsh Branch, or Harrogate, or Malvern, and certainly RHS Westminster
in early October. The first fruits are now being allowed to develop on the cucumber
plants, variety Carmen, now that they have ‘turned the corner’ at the eaves, where they have
started to be trained horizontally to allow all fruits to hang downwards. This
keeps them away from the foliage thus avoiding scratching and means you can
manipulate them straight if they’re bent.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The runner beans are now forming although I’ve never seen
plants with such little foliage. They do look quite bizarre but hasn’t seemed
to affect the amount of pods. I could possibly get a set for my local show next
weekend but I think I’ll wait a few more days to get a set up for the NVS Welsh
Branch show in Carmarthen at the Welsh Botanic Gardens. You can start picking
runner beans 5 or 6 days before the show as soon as they reach the size you
require (I’m going for 14 or 15” plus the tail) and wrap in a damp cloth
against a wooden batten to keep them fresh and straight and pop them in the
fridge. Not too cold mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have a row of Exhibition Longpod broad beans growing away
against canes at an angle and the beans are about 2-3” long now, so no good for
my show this weekend. Bit of chocolate spot but a Signum drench soon stopped
that In its tracks. There is a class at the Welsh for 4 sets of legumes, but as
I don’t grow peas I’m fucked, so these are destined for the kitchen I fear, but
it has been a useful exercise to gather info on growing them to show if I ever
get back into it in 20 years time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Some of the first kohl rabi to be planted out are starting
to swell so these will be too early for Malvern, but it looks like the 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
or 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> batch will probably be spot on, and I’m hoping the Kref in my
polytunnel will be one of them. The variety in the photo is Kolibri and there
are another 2 later sowings of this alongside, so my dream of becoming National
German Turnip Champion are very much alive and well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">At Harrogate & RHS Westminster there are classes for chilli
peppers and I have lots to choose from, albeit they are still green but
starting to turn red soon I reckon. My banker variety Hungarian Wax (below) always
gives me plenty of choice to make a selection from, but I’m not sure about a 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
one I’m growing this season called Cyklon. A case of the reality not quite
matching catalogue photo I fear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">With 2 weeks to the Welsh Branch my dream of getting an
entry at the British Tap Root Championships is hanging in the balance. My long
beet are still quite small at the shoulder, barely an inch and a half diameter,
but if they carry that diameter down for 10 or 12 inches then they may look ok.
My parsnips, variety Victor, are also starting to concern me as they haven’t
responded to the Chempak 8 feed yet and a number of them are looking quite spindly
and therefore the root should also be quite small. At the beginning of the
month I felt they were 3 weeks ahead of last season but they don’t appear to
have grown much in the meantime. I do have quite a few large looking specimens
so I’ll be saving these to try and get a set of 5 at the National, so I’ll have
a decision to make as to which ones to pull for a set of 2 at the Welsh for the
Tap Root Class. Decisions, decisions!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’ve been picking tomatoes, variety Zenith, for the best
part of 2 months, when I’m usually just starting to pick my first fruits so
they are well ahead compared to previous seasons. It means I’ll have plenty to
choose from for the next 2 weekends, including the Welsh where there are lots
of top tomato growers to test yourself against. If I manage to get a ticket
there I’ll be well chuffed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">For my local show I’ve been growing a fuchsia variety called
Auntie Jinks that I rescued from one of last year’s hanging baskets. After
taking advice I pinched out all shoots until 11 weeks before the show, then
snipped off all the flower buds until 5 weeks before the show and I have to say
it is going to be spot on in a week’s time once all these buds burst into
flower. I haven’t grown a fuchsia for a show for several years, and I have found
all the cocking about snipping and debudding quite therapeutic after a hard day
at work I have to say. If you’re planning to show a fuchsia at your local show
do make sure you tidy the plant up a bit, take off any foliage that is turning
yellow and any flowers past their best, and give the pot a good wipe. There’s
nothing that fuck’s a judge off more than getting his hands dirty on muddy
pots.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So, over the next few weeks it’s going to get quite intense
as you’re prepping for the show, but do take time out now and again to smell
the coffee. It should be enjoyable, not stressful and you don’t want to miss little gems
like these cyclamen I noticed growing at the foot of my conservatory wall
today. Spiffin’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And finally Dan Unsworth took to Twitter this week to strongly
refute claims that he’s a gay dyslexic. Personally I think he’s in Daniel. And
finally finally, the French man who invented beach sandals sadly died this
week. RIP Philippe Phillope.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-44218545109978931252017-08-21T17:05:00.001+01:002017-09-20T13:38:12.880+01:00Judging shows, managing old tosspots and ailments<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’m often asked why I swear so much on here, and I reply
that if I didn’t then this would just be another boring blog about veg wouldn’t
it? You fucking prick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I had a very enjoyable Saturday afternoon judging the veg and
fruit classes at a local show somewhere in deepest, darkest Leicestershire, and it was nice to see numbers and overall
quality was up. The runner bean class had a lot of entries and had me earning
my corn, and as usual there were plenty of entries in tomatoes, French beans,
and cucumbers, and the steward who was accompanying me was asking plenty of
questions about how I judged things which I was happy to answer as I went
along. He thanked me afterwards and said he’d learned a lot.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ-7n3Ohyphenhyphen-CZ8v-DVHTIKjunUX1N5MX_5k1ANaF4mKm8KPqAv6HQzHAR-cLK3ZG_DPkwLKAWt_R5k1n0esrB2j4nRVLlx6ewy2bgUof4P98BmBNQymc2u5TXQz0dF_mMXDG6_nuQ/s1600/Burbage+view.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ-7n3Ohyphenhyphen-CZ8v-DVHTIKjunUX1N5MX_5k1ANaF4mKm8KPqAv6HQzHAR-cLK3ZG_DPkwLKAWt_R5k1n0esrB2j4nRVLlx6ewy2bgUof4P98BmBNQymc2u5TXQz0dF_mMXDG6_nuQ/s640/Burbage+view.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">A few years ago at this show I had to ‘NAS’ a dish of
tomatoes that had 7 fruits instead of the requisite 6 when the steward and my
wife ganged up on me, when my request to remove one of the 7 whilst my back was
turned was refused. That same steward benefitted from the disqualification by
being placed 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> when he was out of the tickets and the incident
left a bad taste in my mouth. Well, I managed to get it out of my system on
Saturday afternoon when I came across a set of French beans with one too many
in, so I simply picked one out and asked the steward to hide it. The beans were
placed 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> and no-one was any the wiser. Apparently Medwyn is
discussing this very same subject in his column in Garden News this week and
I’m glad to see he agrees with me. I have been asked to judge the Southern
Branch Championships of the NVS next year and I will state here and now that if
a similar situation happens down there I shall adopt the same method. A judge
who disqualifies an exhibit because it has too many on a dish is a joyless
jobsworth in my eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When it came to giving the best veg in show award I went for
a single cabbage unusually. I knew it was going to be controversial as you
don’t often see cabbages getting best in show, but it was a large cabbage, with
no blemishes and had a lovely bloom to it so in my eyes it was a clear choice. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUfTfbFc31wQtBTq0a3GLkOqGG4ZeNpK7WcIppdx7zY1vSUWDkgEJ0GPZVZtVqAx_mQCDlc-UGwDQlv2vf9Hg4f3ubuZg2UbFoKWiqmMQ7XMd7tay7od3lgr3Lqz416ks10S3DKg/s1600/cabbage+bis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUfTfbFc31wQtBTq0a3GLkOqGG4ZeNpK7WcIppdx7zY1vSUWDkgEJ0GPZVZtVqAx_mQCDlc-UGwDQlv2vf9Hg4f3ubuZg2UbFoKWiqmMQ7XMd7tay7od3lgr3Lqz416ks10S3DKg/s320/cabbage+bis.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The problem then came when I had to get together with the
other judges to award best in the whole show. This is an impossible task in my
opinion, as how can you compare a cabbage against a flower arrangement, a cake
and a quilt?? Answer is you can’t. Initially I got together with the dahlia
judges and agreed that their choice of 3 dahlias trumped my cabbage. Having
exhibited dahlias in the past I’m quite happy comparing flowers against veg
knowing the degree of skill and difficulty involved in both. Last year I stood
my ground on a nice set of onions and they agreed with me for instance. I
thought that would be an end to it but the decrepit old dahlia judge wanted to
know why I had gone for the cabbage and not the shallots. He used to grow and
show veg himself at a reasonable level, and sees himself as an authority on all
things horticultural I guess, but he really has had his day and is now a bit of
an embarrassment I’m afraid. Not a criticism, it’ll come to us all one day, but
I had to show him a small split on the winning shallot entry and the fact that
they were all different shapes and sizes if you looked closely. That seemed to
satisfy him but not before he went around all the other veg to satisfy himself
there was nothing else to question me on. Dear old codger bless him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">There were some nice tomatoes on display, with the 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
placed set showing the yellowing calyces that I have suffered from in the past,
most notably on my 4</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> placed set at the Dundee National in 2015.
This tends to affect me towards the end of September so it was a surprise to
see it mid-August, so I’m now more convinced that this is down to extremes of
temperature between night and day. We have had a sudden downturn in
temperatures as the gulf stream dragged cooler Arctic air down towards us. I’ve
often seen it recommended that you should keep the door on your tomato
greenhouse open at all times, but I’ve always closed it at night and that is
bound to help when the temperature tumbles.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy8M72jO4mTvi77SXBuIiDGHCti_blPplwQxb3gGzfYwl_-ziD6qJanJWlaPW1LWxUnGy-k7Td9rhx7McpXojYgJqB2GSNcYkMxSCmAMDre4AcitTt6bTZg7l4C-M1v18aPY6l5Q/s1600/toms+yellow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy8M72jO4mTvi77SXBuIiDGHCti_blPplwQxb3gGzfYwl_-ziD6qJanJWlaPW1LWxUnGy-k7Td9rhx7McpXojYgJqB2GSNcYkMxSCmAMDre4AcitTt6bTZg7l4C-M1v18aPY6l5Q/s320/toms+yellow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And finally, I shouldn’t really discuss private matters on
here but I am a bit concerned for my health as my cock suddenly turned bright
orange over the weekend, and I mean bright fucking orange, so I was just
wondering if any of you might be able to offer me an explanation? Someone
suggested to me it may be stress related but I had a very peaceful weekend, therefore
it is a little worrying I have to say. My wife was away on a hen-do all weekend
so I just had a couple of quiet, ‘blokey’ nights in on my own, minding my own
business, watching some porn films and eating several bags of Wotsits. Send me
an email if you think you can advise please.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-25155877763069480822017-08-18T14:59:00.001+01:002017-08-18T15:00:22.776+01:00Scabby dabby not so do<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It was as I feared and suspected. I emptied my spuds out
last night and immediately it was evident I was going to be struggling to stage
any spuds as bag after bag revealed spuds that were decimated by scab. Good
size, nice shapes, but scabbed up to sheer fuckery. I’m now at a loss as to
what caused this, I’ve used the same compost as previous seasons and the bags
were never allowed to dry out. Or were they? Tuber initiation occurred at
around about the time of the heatwave so perhaps the water never really
penetrated to the bottoms, and indeed a few were quite dry whilst others were
wringing wet. I did managed to salvage a few showable sets, some with very
minor scab lesions, but at least I’ll never have to fuck around growing spuds
this way ever again. My hat goes off to those growers like Sherie Plumb who
stages umpteen incredible dishes every season.</span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">On Facebook pages I’ve noticed some growers bemoaning the
recent downpours as their long roots ‘will be ruined’. What they mean is that
the sudden deluge of water into a dry-ish growing medium will make their roots
take up a lot of water very quickly with the potential of splitting. This is the reason I water my
long roots frequently, ensuring the sand is kept moist a few inches down from
the surface. Doing this means you’re less likely to suffer splitting in my
opinion although I did lose this otherwise superb carrot last season. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOpkyS3E13EJHnDtJoAGI4U52_ibvDM34wUh7Qa6w_5zAfJLeX9Z0TJtHIqHA6PdQpz0cC9ZX0OnwYOPjCnhn9L4s4GnpNJIxNcaam2CPRgEe-5iqNLckdujr4eh_WuvEEatiwPA/s1600/IMG_2660.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="450" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOpkyS3E13EJHnDtJoAGI4U52_ibvDM34wUh7Qa6w_5zAfJLeX9Z0TJtHIqHA6PdQpz0cC9ZX0OnwYOPjCnhn9L4s4GnpNJIxNcaam2CPRgEe-5iqNLckdujr4eh_WuvEEatiwPA/s320/IMG_2660.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Also on Facebook a discussion was taking place about a set
of onions that had been disqualified at a recent NVS show for being a few grams
too heavy, and how this was perhaps a little unfair. I have no sympathy for the
exhibitor, a very experienced one, but the same would go for a less experienced
one too. If a rule states 1kg-1 ½ kg then if you’re over then the judge has no
option to but to disqualify you I’m afraid. Discussion commenced on whether the
judge’s scales would have been calibrated and whether some leeway should be
applied, but if you start going down that route then it’s a dangerous game, for
how much leeway do you apply, and what if an exhibitor is a few grams over
that, do you apply leeway on the leeway? No, the exhibitor should have
harvested his bulbs smaller to ensure he was under size. If you measure them at
home and they are bang on the weight you are running the risk of being NAS’d if
the judge has you a gram or two over, so it pays to give yourself some wobble
room. Someone else commented that you could not expect an exhibitor to weigh
his onions to within a few grams which struck me as a contender for the
wankiest statement of the week, for a decent set of digital scales doesn’t cost
much and you should have a set if you’re serious about the hobby. I have my own
set of digital scales which I’ll be taking with me to judge a show tomorrow
afternoon. When I say I have a set of scales, they’re my wife’s kitchen scales
but they’re very accurate and I’ll test them with a weight before I leave to
make sure they are still on the money. She’s away on a hen do this weekend so
she’ll never know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Last weekend I increased the collar length on my celery to
19” and that will be that for this season. They are currently around the sort
of size I have shown them at in the past so with 4 or 5 weeks to go until I
need to lift them I’m happy I’ll probably be exhibiting the biggest celery I’ve
ever shown, all I’ve got to do now is keep them clean. I’d not grown any celery
for a couple of years because of a comment my wife had made, which was, and I
quote, “why are you bothering with celery, you’re shit’. This was a tad
demoralising I have to say, but when I dragged her down the garden the other
day for a look she was quite impressed so that’ll do for me! I do have one
claim to fame with celery, in that I once beat Trevor Last, a top celery
grower, at Malvern. I was placed 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> and poor old Trevor was
disqualified. The reason? Apparently, he hadn’t even entered the class and
therefore couldn’t be judged! My pathetic specimens did look a bit stupid next
to Trevor’s rather good ones, but fuck it, I got the ticket and he didn’t!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">At most local shows there will be the lucky dip class,
usually termed ‘any other veg’. I say lucky dip because you ask 10 different
judges and you’ll get 10 different answers as to how they might judge ‘aov’,
because you might see radish against caulis or pot leeks for instance if the
latter two don’t appear in the main body of the schedule. It has been suggested
that you mark according to their points value, then use a ratio to work out a
percentage score. For instance a judge may mark the radish at 8 out of the 10
points on offer, giving it 80% of a perfect score. You might then score the
caulis at 15 out of 20 thus giving it only 75% in which case the radish wins.
This isn’t a system I would employ as it doesn’t make allowance for the degree
of difficulty in growing the cauli, and it would have to be a very poor specimen
indeed for the radish to beat it if I was judging the class. However, 18
pointer veg and even 15 pointer veg would certainly be able to beat a 20
pointer if they were grown well and the 20 wasn’t. One vegetable often
overlooked is the humble aubergine which, like tomatoes, cucumbers and runner
beans is classed as an 18 pointer and can be a useful ‘go to’ for the aov
class. I do find it difficult to get a matching set as it quite a difficult
crop to grow, the main problems being that you need to grow several plants to
get sufficient fruit for a match which can be difficult on an already crowded
plot, and the spiky stems which often pierce your fingers quite painfully when
you’re tending to them. I’ve been picking the embryo fruits off my plants all
Summer as I didn’t want them too early but I’m now leaving them to develop in
the hope of having a few for the September shows. At Derby Show last season I
exhibited this one in a collection class that only needed 6 single specimens. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Finally, if you’re into showing I can think of nothing
better than a whole weekend in a hotel discussing the hobby with like-minded
growers at Medwyn’s annual seminar in November. This year yours truly is giving
a talk, details below, and if anyone wants the full costs and arrangements drop
me a line and I’ll forward them on. I may try and persuade my good pal Craven
Morehead to accompany me but the vain twat doesn’t usually like to be seen in
public with me as I’m the only person in Britain who is as handsome as him.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-11268601593086921292017-08-14T17:12:00.000+01:002017-08-14T17:12:25.499+01:00Patience is a virtue, envy is not
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This time of the year for the veg showman, and the growers
of long roots in particular, is like that scene in Braveheart, the one where
that fine Scottish fella Mel Gibson and his clan of tartan bollock brains are
waiting for the advancing English. Many of them want to reveal their dastardly
plan early but Gibson makes them wait until the last possible moment before
pulling up their row of spikes and piercing the gallant Englishmen’s horses and
basically cheating their way to victory, as is their way, especially when it
comes to cake competitions. At this time of year the temptation to pull the odd
carrot or parsnip for a looksee is unbearable, especially if you think you may
have some decent specimens, but it is an urge you should resist at all costs,
as you may pull one of those roots you might be relying on to make a set in a
few weeks’ time. Once pulled, a long carrot or parsnip can be replanted but
they will lose freshness and won’t grow anymore, so don’t do it, you have been
warned!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having said all that I did pull one of my long carrots at
the weekend. It was a very small one that had developed a double crown so it
was never going to be any good for showing, so I decided to get it up to see if
it had travelled all the way down, without any forking, and to gauge the skin
finish. I must say I was very happy on all accounts. If all my others are this
shape and finish, albeit much bigger, then I shall be a happy bunny come show
time and will hopefully have a chance of being in the tickets at the biggest
shows in the country. My long carrots are looking quite heavy shouldered
already so all that remains to be hoped for now is that they carry their weight
evenly well down the root. Of course without x-ray vision and for all I know
that might have been the only decent carrot in all the fucking barrels!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the piss and panic last week over the stump carrot
crown rot problem, all appears to have calmed down. Getting any diseased ones
up and spraying the remainder with Signum</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">seems to have arrested the problem, and the bed now looks healthy. They
aren’t the biggest but I’ll be happy if they’re at least stump ended, as the
fresh sand I used this year should at least mean I don’t have any cavity spot,
a problem I experienced for the past couple of years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All my onions for the 1-1 ½ kg class are starting to ripen
on wood shavings in my garage. I managed to get 9 all at just over 17 ½ “
circumference so now it’s a case of seeing whether they all look the same once
ripened, but I am hoping to have a set of 5 at the National. It’s highly
unlikely I’d be in the tickets as I expect that most classes at Malvern will
have at least a dozen entries, and this’ll be one of them. Despite not
harvesting until late July I didn’t suffer botrytis because the double pot
system meant I could water the bottom pot and keep moisture away from the bulb
in the upper pot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Tasco onions for the 250g class are also starting to
colour up nicely, but this is a class that will have anything up to 30 entries
at Malvern so you really do have to have perfectly matched little bulbs, and
despite growing over 100 I only have about 40 to choose my sets from, the
remainder either being too small or not a good enough shape. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIA_pUV8-vLvtp_qztlWps3JJyg8AXiKYiSXP_lbbxib9yFi3eif5kOsy20TjmZHbDs44H0KSXRmf1qAFLqMrvB_F4omiZu52rxLFHa6Cx0UKxhpxWpqSMFm-xeUmLhBwJ8gfJUw/s1600/250g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIA_pUV8-vLvtp_qztlWps3JJyg8AXiKYiSXP_lbbxib9yFi3eif5kOsy20TjmZHbDs44H0KSXRmf1qAFLqMrvB_F4omiZu52rxLFHa6Cx0UKxhpxWpqSMFm-xeUmLhBwJ8gfJUw/s400/250g.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will probably be looking for my best set of 4 to keep back
for the Millennium Class at Malvern, that is assuming I can also find 4
potatoes that aren’t scabbed up to buggery. I will be emptying out the bags
this coming weekend, once they have been out of the ground for a fortnight
meaning the skins are now hardened and there shouldn’t be a risk of them
skinning during handling. The Millennium Class calls for 4 each of 250g onions,
tomatoes, globe beet, potatoes and stump carrots and is a class I would love to
win a ticket in. With this in mind, and with a little under 6 weeks to go my
tomatoes are starting to ripen like never before, not something I’m too chuffed
about as I’m usually waiting my first red tomato at this time of the season,
but they’ve come very early for some reason. I picked a large tray last week
and ‘staged’ the set below on my kitchen table. Just to keep my eye in you
understand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This means my competition ones are going to have to come
from the 4</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> truss and above in all probability, so I shall be
thinning out the trusses over the next few days, getting rid of fruits with the
potential to cause neighbouring ones to have flat sides. It’s a bit of a leap
of faith to sacrifice perfectly good looking fruits but it does reward you with
better shaped ones come show time and I guess as I’ve ticketed in the last 2
Nationals it proves I do know my tommies! Below you can see how a truss is
thinned, before and after.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thought I also knew my cucumbers but this season has been
a baffling one thus far. My plants have been very slow indeed to get going,
just sitting and doing nothing for what seemed like several weeks after
planting. I’m usually chopping them back to keep the sideshoots in check by now
but thankfully they are now starting to get to the eaves of my tunnel when I
will start to train them horizontally so I am still hopeful of getting some
cucs on the bench at Malvern. All fruits forming on the vertical vine are
picked off before they have chance to develop, and it’s only once they are able
to hang down from above that they’ll be allowed to swell and grow. A big plants
means the fruits develop quickly, from a 2” long cuc you should have one of
showable size in about a fortnight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the weekend I’ll be judging my only show booking for this
season, at Burbage near Hinckley, Leicestershire. This will be the 5</span><sup><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
year I’ve judged the veg here and it’s always a nice little show to judge with
several classes taxing the brain, especially tomatoes, runner beans, onions as
grown and rhubarb. With that in mind I’d like to appeal to all growers to show
a little decorum after judging rather than throwing a hissy titfit befitting of
a small child because a result may not have gone your way. Judging of
vegetables is not and never can be an exact science, despite the written
guidance of the NVS and RHS, especially at the highest level when the very
smallest of faults can be the difference between first and second. Some days it
may go for you, others it might not, but proper men (and women) will take
defeat on the chin with good grace and think forward to the next show with a
smile. Sometimes growers are blinded to the faults on their own exhibits and
prefer to concentrate on the faults of those that have beaten them, sometimes
justifiably, but more often than not the correct decision has prevailed. Either
way, it happened, get over it. To question a result and try and denigrate
someone in their moment of glory, or to issue veiled threats over the internet
just marks you out as a total cock, not the experienced and helpful older
showman you might pretend to be, and it’s nasty old tossers like you who are
one of the reasons why I’ve decided to walk away from showing.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-20873609081558199942017-08-14T08:54:00.000+01:002017-08-14T08:54:03.798+01:00Shrewsbury Show 2017<div class="MsoNormal">
I really am going to have to quit some of the gardening
pages on social media that I am a member of, due to the incredible stupidity of
many of the idiots that dwell there, they really do wind me up. Over the
weekend I saw someone spell potato haulms as ‘orms’, leafs instead of leaves,
and Jurgen Klopp instead of big, poncy, clueless Kraut.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyhoo, over the weekend it was Shrewsbury show where the
Midlands Branch of the NVS held their annual Branch Championships. I’ll just let
the photos tell the story for this post. Incredible quality and don’t forget
this is an early show. There’s going to be some incredible stuff on the benches
in September, that much is certain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-44322595333188772422017-08-09T16:58:00.002+01:002017-08-09T16:58:53.622+01:00Tattiefilarious
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Just when you’re thinking everything is looking tickety boo
on the showman’s plot something always seems to happen to bring your hopes and
dreams crashing back to reality. Imagine watching ‘An Audience with Ken Dodd’
on the tellybox, laughing away, not a care in the World then some fucker pulls
the plug and replaces it with Coldplay in concert. That’s the sort of extreme
swing in emotions I suffered two nights ago, from happy to suicidal in seconds.
I’d noticed a few of my stump carrots were starting to look less than perky, in
truth something that occurred last season but they soon came round after a
feed. This time they hadn’t responded so I decided to expose a few shoulders
and discovered quite a few were suffering from crown rot, a new one on me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I had to pull a total of 11, leaving me about 100 or so,
which sounds a lot but if any more of those succumb then I’m seriously
depleting my chances against guys who grow several hundred. Doing my research
crown rot is prevalent in warm and damp conditions which we’ve certainly had a
lot of this summer. For the past couple of days it has bucketed down which
isn’t going to help the situation that’s for sure, but it is due to brighten up
later when I shall be giving them a spray of a product called Signum which is
supposed to offer moderate control (on this and many other conditions for
different veg), so I hope to stop it getting any worse at the very least. Hey
ho, there are worse things that can happen in life, such as…..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Growing 40 bags of potatoes that all appear to be completely
covered in fucking scab. I got the first 20 bags up over the weekend so they
could dry off in my garage for a couple of weeks to allow the skins to harden
before emptying out. I did have a crafty peek at some of the tubers and whilst
the size and shape appeared to good I was really struggling to find any that
weren’t badly infected. A similar thing happened last season but then I
discovered there were clean and infected tubers in the same bags so I’m
hoping</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: calibri;">for a similar outcome this time.
Scab thrives in dry soil conditions so I can only assume the bags have dry
spots and any tubers growing there are affected whilst clean tubers can grow
away side by side with them in damp areas. Just a theory but keeping the
growing media uniformly moist in growbags can be more difficult than you
imagine so I think there may be some mileage in the idea. If there are some
tubers with only minor markings I will try and use them as they can be rubbed
off if care is taken. Indeed, the set that won me a 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> at Malvern
last season did contain a couple of tubers with minor scab lesions that were
almost invisible after cleaning. Invisible to the judge at least!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I’ve now planted all my kohl rabi for the National Class 26,
over 100 plants. If I don’t manage to stage a set of 5 after that then I may as
well give up growing for showing. Oh, hang on, I am! These need to be protected
from pigeons as they will nibble the new leaves (hence the pea sticks at random
angles), and a carpet of slug pellets is also essential. I have 2 varieties,
Kref growing in the tunnel and Kolibri growing outside, and with 6 and a half
weeks to go to Malvern surely one of my 4 sowings will be timed to perfection
and I can be crowned National German Turnip Champion, which will be a wonderful
thing to have inscribed on my tombstone. Just below World’s Most Annoying Twat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My long beet in pipes seem to be growing well but they are
now on a weekly feed of Chempak 8 as they need to start bulking out, the roots
only being about an inch in diameter currently. As with long carrots you need
to check the crowns for any side growths, and I have been making sure they are
watered often as long beet do like to be kept moist. Other than that this is
one crop that has grown relatively trouble free thus far.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Which is something that cannot be said for globe beet. For
as long as I can remember globe beet have always grown at vastly different
rates from the same supposed F1 seeds. From the same sowing you can get roots
that reach size in 6 or 7 weeks whilst the rest can take up to 15 or even more,
so it does mean you can be several weeks from show date and have lots of good
show size roots that can only go into the kitchen. A couple of weeks ago as I
was bemoaning this fact once more, staring at several that already needed
harvesting, I wondered whether they could be saved for a few weeks at the size
they’d reached. I decided to experiment by lifting them, thus effectively
stopping their growth, cutting off much of their foliage and replanting them in
deep holes to see if they would be any use come show time. I’ve done this at
the end of the season when I’ve been faced with several dozen roots and
basically just heeled them back into the soil until required for cooking, and
I’d remembered that they don’t grow any more in size but central leaves do
regrow. We shall see if this proves successful, but I’m fairly confident it
will be good enough for local showing at the very least. As more roots reach
size I’ll continue lining them up and them pull them out just before the show
to make the sets. At the moment I don’t see any reason why this can’t work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">One crop I am quite pleased about this season is celery,
which has responded well to a compost top dressing (thankyou Mr. McLeod) and is
now starting to bulk out nicely. I’m only growing 16 plants and this weekend I
will be wrapping black plastic around the cardboard collars to aid the
blanching process. Next week I will switch from a high nitrogen feed Chempak 2
to a low nitrogen feed Chempak 8, a couple of scoops every week until showtime.
The key to growing decent celery I’ve recently learned is when to strip your
outer split sticks back in order to keep the plant swelling and to ensure it’s
as rounded in profile as possible. For now, I’m taking them all out, all around
the plant to keep it even, but a couple of weeks before the show I’ll leave
them on to act as buffers. These will be taken off at lifting, the idea being
(hopefully!) that there are no split stalks underneath those. Something I’ve
not always found to be the case. I may be relying on celery for some of the
mini-collections I’m hoping to do this season so I’m devoting a bit of effort
to these from now, just in case my spuds let me down. Who knows, I may be able
to get my tickling stick out again before the end of the show season.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-77940559988044337952017-08-04T15:28:00.000+01:002017-08-04T15:28:11.188+01:00Cosy Powell drumming home
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I was talking to my good mate Craven Morehead the other day
(great looking bloke, superb grower, massive cock) and he has asked me to help
him do a book on growing to show as there isn’t a decent one out there that
appeals to novices and experienced growers alike. Admittedly there is one by a
chap called Derek Brooks (hey I wonder if he’s the same arsewipe ‘D Brooks’ who
put negative feedback on Craven’s Carrots at Dawn reviews on Amazon?) but quite
frankly I’ve had more enjoyable and interesting days watching a freshly painted
wall dry whilst having Hitler’s Mein Kampf read out to me. I did have a copy of
it but it really was so shit I gave it away so there’s a definite market out
there for a book on the hobby that isn’t coma inducing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">All in all we haven’t had too bad a Summer I reckon,
although there will always be someone in deepest, darkest Ingleton that will
never be satisfied with the weather. In fact, if wet fannies were falling from
the sky and landing on his face he’d probably moan about the taste. Yes, we had
that really hot spell in late June/early July when the whole country was
sweating like a Scotsman watching Crimewatch, but we’ve also had some decent
rain showers so there should be some good stuff at the shows over the next few
weeks. This is sure to make winning a ticket at the highest level shows even
more difficult so growers will have to be really critical about their exhibits.
If there are any faults then you’ve probably got no chance as the judges at
that level will be micro-analysing every last vegetable in their deliberations.
A tiny scratch on your cucumber could be the difference between first and
second or even no ticket at all so whilst everything is now growing well in all
probability, there are still things you can be doing to make sure your stuff is
as perfect as you can make it. This involves daily checking, constant vigilance
and attention to detail. At lots of village shows and certain NVS shows just
north of the Isle of Wight you can probably chuck any old shit down and win
however. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I visited Marcus Powell’s allotments in Buckinghamshire last
night and he is most definitely going to be in amongst the tickets as he has
some fabulous looking stuff. Last season he won the prestigious collection
class with this display, so apologies in advance if you’re eating.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">His blanch leeks in particular stood out yesterday, and his
celery weren’t far behind, with several sowings at different levels of progress
to cover the many shows he does. It was interesting to listen to him as we went
through his different crops talking about what he does with each one, we all do
things slightly differently but there’s always something we can learn to make
things better, so listening to another grower is one of the most worthwhile
things you could do if you want to win that elusive red card. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">I was gratified to see that his caulis and runner beans for
Malvern were at the same stage as mine, as my caulis had been decimated by
pigeons shortly after planting out but have now recovered pretty well. My
runners seemed to be painfully slow this season, but again were on a par with
Marcus’. However, he had some superb runners just starting to crop for the
Midlands Branch Championships at Shrewsbury next week and the thing that struck
me most were the length of his flower trusses, they were well over a foot long.
Mine get to 8 inch if I’m lucky. Must be different soils, or the half strength
Viagra he feeds them on. He takes the other half to stop himself falling out of
bed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">One of the many jobs I shan’t be missing from next year is
growing quality marrows to show. This involves tying them up canes inclined at
an angle so that the developing fruits hang down away from the coarse foliage,
much as you would do for cucumbers. Making the framework for the canes is a job
I invariably rush, which means they often collapse at inopportune moments.
After high winds yesterday I suffered a breakage in a couple of the canes high
up which will require fiddly repair work whilst getting scratched up to buggery
from the plants themselves. However, it hasn’t affected this rather superb
looking fruit (var. Blyton Belle), which is rugger ball sized, and I have
several others grapefruit sized which should give me a matching set for Welsh
Branch in early September. Growing like this means they colour up all the way
around and you don’t get that flat discoloured side you do when they grow on
the ground.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-77539418523280441342017-08-01T17:15:00.001+01:002017-08-01T17:15:54.659+01:00Lukaku Pogba Lindelof Matic
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Another thing that winds me up about social media gardening
groups is when you advise someone on a particular insecticide/fungicide for a
problem and some new-age, ecowarrior, knobthwaite cockfondler pipes up about
making sure you have a valid sprayer’s licence, full body protection with nipple
softeners and plastic cocksock etc etc etc. Oh do me a favour, go put your head
between two rounds of bread and make yourself a cunt sandwich. I actually know
someone who has a sprayer’s licence and I have serious doubts that he manages
to put his own fucking shoes on each morning, so having a licence is no
guarantee that you’re able to use chemicals wisely. If I want to use chemicals
I’m gonna use ‘em so unless you’re gonna get the PC Police out to raid my
potting shed keep shut yer fecking cake’ole. There’s also nothing quite so good
at getting the organic keyboard warriors going off on one than to mention a glyphosate
based weedkiller manufactured by the apparent evil corporate bastards at Monsanto,
it really is great fun winding the twats up. However, they will often recommend
their own home-made concoction that has had no scientific testing done and
which, as far as I can tell, is an acid. I think I’ll stick to Roundup
personally. Gallons of it. So fuck off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Moving on, Epsom salts are fast becoming my ‘go to’ solution
in the garden when a plant looks a bit out of sorts, especially when it comes
to greenhouse tomatoes. A couple of months ago my plants were almost yellow but
daily sprays with an Epsom salt solution have somehow greened them up into
decent looking plants with heavy crops of fruit promised for show time.
However, I’m not stupid, this is the 2</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">nd</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> season in a row that this
has happened. Despite flooding the soil prior to planting to mimic winter rains
and flush through any excess fertilisers there is obviously an issue with the
soil in the border that the tomatoes grow into, so I’ll be sure to change the
whole lot before next year. I may look to have a crack with some compost tea as
an alternative, something that Gareth Cameron has had brilliant results with
and which would be preferable to lugging a couple of tonne of soil around. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Before the season started I was wondering what small fruited
tomato to grow for show, having grown Marshalls’ Montello for a one off
competition at Malvern last year. I’ve grown various varieties down the years
with varying degrees of success, including Harlequin, a small fruited plum
variety, to gain a 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: calibri; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: calibri;"> place ticket at the National. Unlike other
vegetables there appears no single cultivar that rules the roost so this season
I plumped for Strillo which I had seen win at the highest level before. And I’ve
been picking fruits for the kitchen for a few weeks now, but the plants still
have many to come so I’m hopeful of having some dishes to show during
September, including my local show where the small fruited class has, in
brackets, (not plum), so I could never enter Harlequin. The only downside I’ve
found with Strillo is that is does have a tendency for the fruits to split,
even before they’re fully ripe so we shall see.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My Evening Star celery are progressing reasonably well aside
from the usual slug issues. On advice from a former celery National champion
Paul McLeod I’ve top-dressed around the base with some fresh compost to encourage
further rooting, and this weekend I’ll put some black dpc collars around the
cardboard ones to shut out all light. At the moment they’re on 18” collars. I
haven’t decided whether to put a 20” collar on yet, as I may just leave them as
they are and try and get them to bulk out. From now on they just need water,
water, water, but I will start feeding with Chempak 8 in a couple of weeks time,
plus a feed of sulphate of potash 3 weeks before the shows to harden them up a
bit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">And it’s taken a few years since the retirement of the great
Sir Fergie but it now looks like Manchester United will shortly be back ruling
the roost if recent signings are anything to go by. Despite a few relatively
barren years when, to be quite honest, United have been playing completely
wank, they still managed to win more trophies than Liverscum, Manchester Shitty
and Totteringham Hotshite combined, to become the most successful club in
English football history. </span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-23075383779652981902017-07-28T15:05:00.002+01:002017-07-28T15:06:23.400+01:00Tales of internet idiots<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have to admit to being a bit addicted to social media but
it does wind me up considerably that it is often a portal for a myriad of
cock-juggling thundercunts to show the World just how stupid they are. For
instance, the post below was posted on one of the many Facebook gardening pages
that I subscribe to for various reasons. The photo is of a sunflower and I
guess if you’ve never seen one you wouldn’t know what it was, although the
spelling and grammar of this particular poster does seem to suggest he/she is
thicker than a very thick plank that has been left in water to expand so it’s
even thicker.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCwMdL1K2XHWS9ZSZTbqkr0B6U4hnRblCrMK1ISz8BDmQrvk4-e_ilBNuMJevldPdt82-syvVzvpoqsoNCehLvWT06LlHSYW-74mh_uR2htMq8ewKUMYd-oVSoRYjs9gFcoXQl3A/s1600/sun+1.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="360" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCwMdL1K2XHWS9ZSZTbqkr0B6U4hnRblCrMK1ISz8BDmQrvk4-e_ilBNuMJevldPdt82-syvVzvpoqsoNCehLvWT06LlHSYW-74mh_uR2htMq8ewKUMYd-oVSoRYjs9gFcoXQl3A/s640/sun+1.PNG" width="360" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Once posted then basically the race is on for the first
person with ‘knowledge’ to post an answer and to pass him/herself off as the
Grand Hortimaster of the group. Once done, that should be a fucking end to it,
but no, you will usually see anything up to 50 or 60 identical answers saying
it is a FUCKING SUNFLOWER FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Everyone who posts ‘it’s a
sunflower’ after the first correct answer is basically a total bell-end from
Upper Bellendsville.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">However, this can sometimes work in your favour. I once
followed a post started by a chap who had taken on a plot with a very old and
large greenhouse with a brick wall base. He posted a photo of a leaf shoot
emerging from a border right next to the whitewashed brick wall asking group
members to help him identify it. He mentioned that it had a huge woody root
that he simply couldn’t budge. Bit of a clue there don’t you think? Alas, no.
At least 40 ‘experts’ posted confidently, one after the other like a row of
idiot dominoes, that it was a volunteer potato, probably as a result of a
previous crop not being fully cleared. The poster thanked everyone and said he
looked forward to an early crop of spuds, right up until the point that I
intervened and said it was not a potato, that it was quite clearly a fig, which
you could tell from the leaf shape which bore no resemblance to that of a
potato, although the fact that it had a woody stump was also a bit of a
giveaway (by this time I was taking the piss out of the soft cunts!). At this
point several people posted to vehemently disagree with me and insist that it
was definitely a potato, although one or two did concede that now they had
zoomed in on the photograph it could possibly be a fig.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">For fuck’s sake, these morons all have votes, and they would
probably choose that terrorist sympathising doggyknobber Corbyn!</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-83285862328784200992017-07-26T17:14:00.000+01:002017-07-26T17:14:29.511+01:00Where my shit's at
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">There really is nothing like competitive growing to bring
out the inner wanker in people, and this is non more personified than in the
worlds of giant veg and chilli peppers. I’ve been dipping in and out of various
websites and forums devoted to these two aspects of horticultural
competitiveness for a few years and they probably have higher percentages of
illiterate, whiney tosspots than any walk of life I’ve ever encountered.
Reading some of this garbage kept me highly entertained during my recent holiday,
especially where it sud</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; margin: 0px;">DENLY CHANGES INTO
CAPITAL LETTERS FOR NO APPARENT FUCKING REASON</span><span style="font-family: calibri;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Chief fucktard in the world of oversized and largely
inedible vegetables is a twat called Scott Robb from Alaska who has the world
record cabbage to his name, and who insists on calling it a sport not a hobby.
Gareth Fortey has been running Giantveg.com for several years and does a
brilliant job raising the profile of the hobby, but his website and Facebook
page are constantly sniped at by this mullet-haired moose-shagger with his
constant bleats about rules and regulations over what should or shouldn’t be
allowed in weigh-ins. Giant veg should be the easiest of competitions to judge,
for if it’s the longest or the heaviest then it wins, it aint rocket science,
and indeed it’s why lots of limited growers who were useless at growing proper
veg, like Unsworth and Bastow for instance, gave up and converted to trying
their hand at ‘giants’. However, not for Scott Robb are cabbages with lots of
offshoots, or tomatoes and marrows that have grown from fused fruits on a
single stem, for these shouldn’t be allowed to stand in his egotistical
opinion. Truth is the twat is just afraid of losing his world record to someone
from the Motherland.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">In the world of hot chillis the arguments are even more
bizarre, with some growers even offering to fight others. For fuck’s sake, a
chilli is a chilli is a fucking chilli but there are Facebook groups with
thousands of members all trying to outdo each other by developing the hottest
chillies that look like my dead grandad’s wizened willy. Recently a chilli
pepper called Dragon’s Breath hit the news claiming to be the world’s hottest
at 2.1 million Scoville units whatever they are. Quite why anyone would want to
eat a chilli so hot it could give you a heart attack is totally beyond me, but
someone claimed to be selling them and managed to convince many of the gullible
fuckwits to part with 15 quid per plant. This sent some anonymous clown called
Ashy Moko to go on a crusade to shame these growers, and he appears to have
devoted his recent life to this task and involved university professors and
other reputable tradesmen in the process, embarking on an incomprehensible
paper and email trail to prove his point. He has hundreds of followers all proclaiming
him to be their hero. Jesus H Christ….if you spent 15 quid on an unproven
plant, you’re a thick cunt, get over it, file it in the life’s experiences
folder and get a life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Anyhoo, after 5 days away from the plot it’s always a relief
to come back and find everything is still ticking over nicely, although there
are always one or two issues that need immediate attention. After taking advice
from Gareth Cameron on 1 ½ kg onions I decided to cull them at 17
½”circumference to be on the safe side. This meant at least a couple of them
would probably reach this size whilst I was on holiday and I would be relying
on the mother-in-law to do the honours, which she was absolutely terrified
about. As it transpired however, growth slowed meaning she didn’t have to wield
the secateurs and I was able to lift the first one on my return Friday night,
with another one following Sunday evening and another one now ready for lifting
tonight. I have another 5 or 6 swiftly approaching size so I’m hopeful of
staging a set of 5 in the 1-1.5kg class at the National in late September,
something I’d never have imagined possible on my white rot infested plot, but
thanks to my double pot system I’ve proved to myself there are alternative
methods to produce quality veg. Once the bulb reaches the size I require I
strip any split skins back and remeasure, leaving it to grow a bit more as you
would have undoubtedly reduced the size by the stripping process. Once lifted I
cut a long neck which will be reduced after tying, trim all roots flush with
the base and give the bulb a good clean to wash off any dirt. When dry they are
stored in wooden boxes on coarse sawdust shavings, in my garage with sheets of
fleece draped over them to ripen slowly. I don’t bother talcing onions anymore
because I always felt a bit gay doing it. Job’s a good’un.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My spuds have been a big disappointment this year, the
foliage having struggled for several weeks, suffering from yellowing at first
(probably magnesium deficiency) and then dark blotching which has rendered them
very messy looking and they haven’t reached a good size at all so I’m not
hopeful of there being a decent crop of tubers beneath. Those that I have
exposed appear to be riddled with scab so it’s going to be touch and go whether
I have any to show this season. I’ve now stopped watering with a view to
lifting them in another couple of weeks, although we had a biblical downpour on
Friday night, drenching the peat which may in itself present problems for
harvesting when you’re trying to get the skin lenticels to close down and the
skins to start hardening. Growing spuds in bags is certainly not something I am
going to miss when I finish with showing later this year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My onions for the 250g class are mostly all up now and after
topping and tailing as for the large onions they are tipping the scales at just
over 250g which should be perfect once prepped for show, as they will lose a
few grams in weight. They all look identical at this point but as sure as eggs
is eggs they’ll all ripen to different shades of brown and picking a set of 3,
4 or 5 is never as easy as it should be.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeRI-UkeE35-zmPjYusAS_4n8oRjq6lRqoy8Sr1vrYevEbVxdHNRajrXwnChXSmcLNRrW_xa88Cq2WBV3Vee6C6D4zx5YIklPOCTr8FdIJw05upoq7E5GvbzB-TB-wl7sTMsU_GQ/s1600/250g+July.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeRI-UkeE35-zmPjYusAS_4n8oRjq6lRqoy8Sr1vrYevEbVxdHNRajrXwnChXSmcLNRrW_xa88Cq2WBV3Vee6C6D4zx5YIklPOCTr8FdIJw05upoq7E5GvbzB-TB-wl7sTMsU_GQ/s400/250g+July.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My celery are looking healthy despite the usual slug
nibbles. One thing I’ve discovered is that Slugclear is a total waste of money
and doesn’t appear to work for me so it’s back to a carpet of pellets from now
on. With 7 or 8 weeks to show time I just need the plants to bulk out now and
it’ll soon be time to switch to a Chempak 8 feed for that process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Now is the time your French beans should be popping through
for the mid and late September shows, as they need 8-9 weeks from showing to
showing. I’m going to be growing these in the tunnel where my onions were, but
first I’ll need to give the bed a thorough drenching as I’d been allowing it to
dry out in order to reduce the chance of botrytis on the onions. The variety
that everyone grows is one called Hawkesbury Wonder and I’ve been saving my
seed for a few years after Ronnie Jackson kindly gave me some. At all NVS
Branch shows this season there is also an extra class for a bean supplied by
Marshalls called Satelit with big prize money so I’m also having a go at that
one with a view to getting an entry at the Welsh Branch show. Feedback from
other growers indicates this is a very fast grower.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My Carmen cucumbers have been struggling to get going in the
tunnel,</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: calibri;">due to the heat I’m assuming,
and I have lost a few to stem rot but they appear to have sorted themselves out
now and I am training them up the wires to the tunnel frame where I then train
them horizontally. I will pick off all small fruits as soon as I see them as I
want a large plant before I allow any fruits to develop further. The idea is
for them to hang down from the roof supports away from the foliage so they
don’t get scratched. It also makes them easier to manipulate so they are nice
and straight, and facilitates the measuring process also. Here is a photo of my
tunnel from last year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">In other news there were recently appeals for gardeners to
count the amount of butterflies in their gardens. I posted the attached on my
Twitter feed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Somehow the Butterfly Conservation knobs got wind of this
and gatecrashed my account. I think they know my position on their fluttery
little twats now.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-10253175946148183722017-07-14T15:11:00.001+01:002017-07-14T15:12:02.297+01:00Not everyone's cup of tea but.........there was a cracking episode of Naked Attraction on the telly box last night.<br />
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I'm off on me hols for a week so try not to miss me too much!Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-61995773255697660872017-07-12T17:31:00.000+01:002017-07-12T17:45:23.803+01:00Shit happens<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Pigeons. What is the point of them? No, really, what is the
actual fucking point of fucking bastard fucking pigeons? I’ve always been
troubled by the feathered fucktards whenever I’ve had young brassicas planted
and had to resort to all manner of defence systems, but a couple of years ago
settled on sticks placed around the plants at random angles, after reading that
pigeons don’t like things above their heads as they think it might be a
predator. I was highly sceptical at first but fuck me backwards it actually
seemed to work. Or at least it did, because this year the little shitbags have
obviously got over their fear and are eating my caulis with a vengeance. Next
year when I have more time I am purchasing an air rifle with a view to killing
as many of the fuckers as I possibly can, purely for fun, and fuck the animal
lovers a few doors up, they can kiss my pimply hairy arse. Whether my caulis
can recover in time from this is debatable. The pigeon attack, not my hairy arse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Potato scab. What is the actual fucking point of potato
scab? I’ve sucked fucking reservoirs dry this summer in an attempt to keep scab
off my spuds but during a furtle deep into one of my potato bags last night the
first fucking potato that I fucking came across had more fucking scabs on it
than Jim Carrey’s poxy cock. It just goes to prove that the cockwomble from
Derby who told me about giving spuds plenty of water at tuber initiation (is
that even a genuine fucking term?) doesn’t know what the fuck he’s on about.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’m going to have to get my blood pressure tested before the
footy season starts! My first batch of runner beans was planted out 3 weeks ago
to cover my local show and hopefully Welsh Branch a week after but all my
sowings since then have struggled to germinate for some weird reason, despite
being the same seed and being treated the same way, sown quite deep in 3”
square pots. I can only assume the tender new shoots got ‘cooked’ in the recent
heatwave before they were able to emerge. Having used up all my stock I was
forced to appeal to that Liverscum supporting, filthy photo texting fellow
grower Mark Perry to see if he had any spare seed. He has very kindly sent me
some seed which I hope will cover my later shows if I get them in quickly. He
employs a bean lettering system similar to the Plumbs but I don’t know why as
they all look the fucking same to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Meanwhile, scientists and keyboard warriors the World over
are shitting themselves about a little bit of ice that’s come away from
Antarctica (it’s roughly the size of Cyprus apparently), prophesying the end of
the World and blaming Donald Trump for it. Now don’t get me wrong, Trump’s a
total cunt, but when you’re hurtling through space at 67,000 miles an hour
on a huge oscillating rock on a trajectory that is not fixed from one year to the
next shit like this is gonna happen and there aint fuck all mankind can do
about it. So quit whining and help me kill some pigeons you underarm dreadlocked,
new-age hippy tosspots.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-49803874227672864962017-07-10T17:08:00.000+01:002017-07-10T17:08:08.646+01:00Stay firm and resolute!
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">It’s around about now that the mind games will begin. Your
fellow competitors and showing pals will be texting/emailing/messaging you on
Facebook etc saying that they have the best veg they’ve ever grown and that you
don’t stand a cat in hell’s chance of beating them at this year’s shows. Some
will even try and put you off by texting you semi-naked photos of themselves
(see previous post) so the best thing you can do is to remain calm and keep
quiet about your own stuff. It’s easy to become nervous and doubt the quality
of your own stuff if you let them get to you, but the judge will ultimately
decide whose stuff is best, and more often than not your competition isn’t as
good as they would have had you believe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">In truth I love all the pre-show banter, not to mention the
put downs at the show itself. I well remember one of my first ever shows where
someone remarked of my cabbages as I entered the marquee “They’re big brussels
lad”. Other common ones you’ll hear are;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">“Did you pull those carrots in the dark?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">“You’ve left the price sticker on those caulis”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">“I reckon your radish will be up for best in show” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">“Did you not bother feeding your onions this year then?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">“Judging by all the caterpillar damage on those cabbages
you’d be best entering them in the livestock section”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">A couple of weeks ago I was starting to become quite concerned
about my parsnips, as they appeared to be throwing up weird side shoots not
dissimilar to the way that long carrots do. This was not something I had ever
have happen before so it threw me at first. I assume it was caused by the
extreme hot weather we have been experiencing although I have been watering
regularly. I pulled them off sideways after pushing my fingers down towards the
crown (parsnip crowns tend to be much deeper than carrots) and they did come
away quite easily so hopefully there will be no lasting problems, but I’ll only
know for sure come harvest time. Until then they are looking otherwise pretty
good, with strong, thick stalks signifying that there should be some decent roots
growing down below. However, from photos posted by other growers on various
Facebook pages it’s apparent that there’s going to be a lot of good parsnips on
the benches come September time. You see, I am already starting to doubt
myself! Bollocks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My long carrots continue to grow well, the foliage now
pushing up against the enviromesh top of the frame. It’s all a lovely deep
green and because they are totally enclosed on all sides by polythene, top and
bottom by mesh, it means that the dreaded carrot fly can’t get in to lay their
eggs, although I also use a systemic insecticide as belt and braces. You simply can't afford the slightest chance of any damage, no matter how minute. I also make a note of going through each station every week, making sure
that the crowns are covered with more compost as they will turn green otherwise
and cause you to be downpointed. The only feed they get is a weak solution of
Maxicrop at every other watering which I hope will enhance the colour. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">My stumps Sweet Candle are also looking pretty uniform from
the tops at least, and a few weeks ago several even started to push their
shoulders above the surface. In one way this is good, as it means they have
probably started to form a defined stump end which is something I have often
struggled to achieve, so it could mean that my gamble of a simple cored hole
12” deep has paid off. On the other hand it means I have to be extra vigilant
and ensure I’m ready to cover any exposed root otherwise it will go green and
never turns orange again, so you have to make regular checks. Taking advice
from other good stump growers I really need to make sure the bed is never
allowed to dry out so I am watering every day in this hot weather. Ever since
2010 when I pulled over 100 forked Sweet Candle which I put down to
insufficient water I’ve been very careful to make sure they never go dry.
Remember, they are growing in free draining sand and we need to give them much
more water than if they were growing in the ground.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Over the weekend I harvested the first Tasco onions for the
250g classes, pulling them when the tape measure had them at 10 ¼”
circumference or 3 ¼” diameter. From the photo you will see 5 bulbs all pulled
at the same diameter, but I’m fairly sure the bottom two will weigh well in
excess of 250g because they are much rounder in profile. These were growing a
bit deeper in the bed and so I hadn’t noticed they were swelling mostly below
ground, their true size only becoming apparent when I exposed them a bit by
grubbing out the soil from around them. The top three should be bang on size
once the necks have dried out so the trick now is to harvest as many as I
possibly can before white rot ruins everything, as I have now lost a total of 4
bulbs to this disease. </span></div>
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Once thoroughly dried off I’ll rub some talc on them and store in wooden boxes of sawdust in my garage, which is cool, dark and airy, ideal for ripening onions. The problem is you need a big selection as they will all
ripen to slightly different hues, some will develop the odd wrinkle and need
re-skinning, some may be marked in some way etc etc. In fact, of the three the
one on the right has slightly lower shoulders if you’re being critical, which
just goes to show how difficult it is to match veg up for showing. In fact, I'm now starting to worry about all of my veg, so I may have to start some mind games of my own. I'm just off to take a photo of my arse to text to Mark Perry.</div>
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Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-73505883162173759702017-07-03T17:04:00.001+01:002017-07-03T17:04:21.923+01:00Warning; This post contains nudity that may offend. It’ll certainly make you very, very sick.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>Apologies for an error in my previous post on kohl rabi. As
Liverscum supporting ex-British tap root champion Mark Perry pointed out to me
in a text Friday evening;</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“You will never win
the kohl rabi class. Why? Because you need a set of 5 not 4 you knob head”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I think you’ll agree, quite remarkable and admirable bravery
shown there by someone who really should know better, obviously forgetting
about the power of blog at my fingertips!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, moving on, we all need to know our limitations in life,
whatever the situation. For instance, when I go out on the piss with my mates I
carry a couple of photos in my wallet to let me know when my limit has been
reached. This is the first one;<o:p></o:p></div>
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However, sometimes I may have gone too far so in that case I
have to refer to this one;<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSXUmp6ANoIZiV6Odbg1hDRdsc3U7srCF-MBYrXkoTN50DHcFTp7UvnkflW6tcMsyiJu1XLsCVVEm_K4UyjxA-4HZIeCGUODc8Hzwm0EoA5j98oiISToj2l8b-Ms4nS226bVzQA/s1600/Stocks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="563" data-original-width="337" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSXUmp6ANoIZiV6Odbg1hDRdsc3U7srCF-MBYrXkoTN50DHcFTp7UvnkflW6tcMsyiJu1XLsCVVEm_K4UyjxA-4HZIeCGUODc8Hzwm0EoA5j98oiISToj2l8b-Ms4nS226bVzQA/s400/Stocks.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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The same is true with me and quality onions. Due to a mixture
of not having the right equipment and having much better things to do during
the cold Winter months (watching footy, watching beach volleyball, watching
paint dry and wanking) I don’t grow large onions from seed under lights,
instead buying them in from a supplier such as Medwyn’s. This saves time,
energy and electricity whilst giving someone else the problem of nurturing the
plants. Medwyn needs to be kept busy at his advanced age anyway. I ordered 10
plants which arrived mail order during April and were potted on and kept in the
warmth of my conservatory until they were ready to go into the tunnel. Even
then I couldn’t plant them into the tunnel border as my soil is totally
infested with white rot, and as I’ve discovered many times in the past this disease
can devastate your crop in days. Instead I had to grow them to harvest in large
12” diameter pots, a bottomless one on top of another for a really deep root
run, the growing media being a mixture of sterilised soil, M3 and vermiculite,
and it has been successful in the past where I’ve managed to get onions to over
3lbs which is plenty heavy enough for me. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ApFvXkIBDqgrSjf1XaKkKc6G3uXT7zYoLKKGfjaVK1TcbgxeMNWT1aGRd818PKc1wNEGn2nhrimRo93wZMENvSoslk3Yjg2V_NLrHKTLo-sJ7cX6umf7ELFBKElPb0ui6qMPGA/s1600/onions+July+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ApFvXkIBDqgrSjf1XaKkKc6G3uXT7zYoLKKGfjaVK1TcbgxeMNWT1aGRd818PKc1wNEGn2nhrimRo93wZMENvSoslk3Yjg2V_NLrHKTLo-sJ7cX6umf7ELFBKElPb0ui6qMPGA/s400/onions+July+2017.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The length of the roots is a sight to
behold when they’re emptied out. The internet is full of growers using
something called an air pot which I have no personal experience of, basically a
large plastic pot full of holes all round the sides. The idea is the root gets
‘air pruned’ when it emerges. I have absolutely no idea why you would want to
air prune your roots or what advantage such a practice brings to the party, but
a lot of growers are currently swearing by them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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However, I wasn’t about to experiment with something I
didn’t understand in my last season of showing so stuck to my double pot
system, using a metal ring supported with canes to keep the foliage upright.
This promotes good form on the eventual harvested bulbs. These onions will need
to be lifted by early August to have them ripened in time for the shows I do in
September so I have started putting a cloth tape around them daily, and making
a note of the measurements. At the moment they are all between 13 and 14 ½”,
and my aim is to try and get them as close to 18 ½” as I can. They should then
weigh approx. 1 ½ kg and I’m hoping to get an entry of a set of <b><u><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">FIVE</span></u></b>
in a class at the National for the 1-1.5kg onions. At the moment they are
expanding by ¼” per day, so I need to make a judgement call on a size when I
think they may be all be running out of steam. It may be for example that I
have to settle on 18” rather than 18 ½”, if I think they won’t all make it. The
idea is to harvest one at your optimum size (there’s always one that seems to
be ahead of the rest) and then harvest the others when they reach the same
size, which can take a couple of weeks. They are all roughly the same shape so
I should have decent uniformity I’m hoping.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My onions for the 250g class Tasco are also all starting to
swell and will need to be harvested at the magic size of 83mm diameter, at
which point each bulb should be bang on 250g once prepped for show, depending
on the shape profile. </div>
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I have an old cardboard template which I have used for a
number of years and which serves me perfectly well for this purpose. These
plants are planted in the tunnel border and are having to take their chances
with the white rot, as there are just too many to mess about growing them all
in pots. For the past 3 years I have used a product called Basamid on the soil
during mid-Spring which has depleted the white rot but I still suffer a few
losses. I have lost 3 bulbs so far and expect more will follow, but hopefully
it won’t be the 40-50% of previous seasons. Last year I lost about 15%. The
only possible problem I may have is that we’re going away as a family for a
week in a couple of weeks and I think most of the bulbs will need harvesting
during that week, so I don’t know what I’m going to do about that. I may have
to give my neighbours young son a crash course in onion measuring for some
financial recompense.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the meantime, not all growers are quite as busy as I am,
preferring instead to lounge around like drunken layabouts drinking cheap west
country beer when they should be tending their crops. I do hope he didn’t use
all that contaminated water on his tomatoes? And any serious grower would have
all that useless lawn turned over to veg surely?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-49598403873779796372017-06-30T11:08:00.000+01:002017-06-30T11:08:00.274+01:00Class 26<div class="MsoNormal">
For those unaware of The National Vegetable Society it is
split into 5 branches, Southern, Midlands, Welsh, Northern and Scottish. Each
branch has its own <b><u><span style="font-size: 20.0pt;">BRANCH</span></u></b> championships every year, and
the Midlands Branch that I belong to holds theirs at Malvern each year.
Northern Branch hold theirs at Harrogate for instance and so forth. The
Southern Branch Championships is always the first one of the year and they hold
theirs in July at the Dorset County Show, and if you can win down there you can
probably win at any village show in the country. Every five years each branch
takes their turn to host the <b><u><span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">National Championships</span></u></b> of the NVS and
this year it’s the turn of Midlands Branch at Malvern. As a result the Midlands
Branch Championships will be held as part of Shrewsbury Show in August instead.
I won’t be able to do that one so I shall have to relinquish my parsnip trophy
won for the past 2 years at Malvern. Any member can enter any of the 5 branch
championships and the National, and it’s the National which is the biggest and
best and the one that every grower aspires to. There are 26 classes in all, and
because of the incredible level of competition any ticket is something to
cherish, because the usual names are often the ones that hoover up the
silverware so it’s incredibly difficult to become a <b><u>true</u></b> National Champion. The best growers usually travel to
wherever the National is held, whereas that isn’t always the case for the
Branch Championships so you can only ever really call yourself a regional
champion if you win at a Branch, although some branch championships do carry
more kudos than others. I hope that clears up any confusion?<o:p></o:p></div>
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In 2012 The National Vegetable Society introduced a new
class (no. 26) into their annual National Championships for a 15 point or under
veg that would change each year, the hosting branch having the honour of
deciding which veg would be contested. In 2012 at Malvern the veg chosen by
Midlands Branch was marrows, and the winner was Marcus Powell, pictured below
during a recent court case for breaching an injunction taken out against him by
Sherie Plumb.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A year later at Harrogate it was small fruited tomatoes won
by Mark Hewartson (I came 3<sup>rd</sup>!), in 2014 at Dorset Southern Branch
chose globe beet won by Andrew Jones. In 2015 at Dundee, Scottish Branch chose
broad beans which I thought was an interesting choice as I only ever grew them
to eat and didn’t realise they could be grown to show so late in the season.
The size of those benched at Dundee really staggered me as they must have been
over a foot long, a variety called Relon that appears to be no longer available
in any catalogues and which has been perpetuated by some of the growers up
there. Ian Simpson won the class.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had some seed given to me by Jim Pearson and grew Relon
last season but could not time them for any shows. Despite sowing them
according to Jim’s sowing dates they all cropped way too early but I have to
say they were huge beans like those benched in Scotland so I’ll keep the strain
going south of the border if I can.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last year when the National was held in Carmarthen at the
Welsh Botanic Garden glasshouse the Welsh Branch chose globe beet once again,
displaying the usual lack of imagination you expect from the Welsh. Well, they
still think their rugby team are the best in the World! It was won by Trevor Humphrey
with his usual stunners with incredibly long tap roots.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year the class has come full circle and it’s the turn
of Midlands Branch once more to choose which veg to grow and compete with, and
they have gone slightly off grid with kohl rabi, or german turnips to give its
alternative name. </div>
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I think this is an inspired choice as you never see it on the
benches and I doubt if many of the usual suspects will ever have grown it for
exhibition so this is one National title that is really up for grabs this year
I believe. I shall be doing my first sowing this weekend, with Malvern a mere
13 weeks away, and a second sowing next weekend which should be about the right
timing to get me a set of 4. I’ve only ever grown kohl rabi 2 or 3 times in the
past so I do have a little bit of knowledge about them, and one thing I did
learn is that they soon deteriorate once they reach their prime so timing is
essential. Now, according to the NVS judges guide kohl rabi should be no more
than tennis ball size, but there is a variety I’m tempted to grow called
Superschmelz which can grow considerably bigger. Whatever you grow all
specimens need to be alike in shape and size, and most importantly of all in
good condition with no sign of pest or disease damage. I doubt any of the
judges at the National no matter how experienced would have come across this
crop many times during their judging career so no doubt they’ll all be cribbing
up on it just in case class 26 is one assigned to them! <o:p></o:p></div>
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It will be interesting to see what the branches decide on in
future as there are many more 15 point or less crops that could be given a go,
assuming the unimaginative Welsh keep plumping for globe beet of course.
Cabbages, brussels, broccoli, calabrese, celeriac, courgettes, garlic, kale, lettuces,
peppers, radish, swedes and turnips to name but a few.<o:p></o:p></div>
Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32026050.post-4238555016591026682017-06-28T17:12:00.001+01:002017-06-28T17:14:15.739+01:00Too late now!<br />
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In life you are often faced with situations that seem at
first glance to be one thing, which may look quite threatening, but in
actuality turn out to be something totally opposite and entirely benign. For
instance, (and I use this example and location entirely at random) if you saw a
group of middle-aged white people in a field below the magnificent Malvern
hills, standing around a table full of fruit cakes, your natural reaction,
understandably so, would be that they were all converted ISIS terrorists
determined to ruin the Malvern Show and all that it stood for. A closer look,
and it takes some doing believe me, would reveal a bunch of friends merely
having a laugh and a joke and taking the piss out of the cooking of skills of
some of their number, but I have to accept it’s an easy mistake to make at
first glance.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Some garden creatures are similarly maligned, such as ants
and woodlice for instance. People often blame them for things not growing so
well because they see them crawling all over their suffering plants, but
woodlice only feed on rotting detritus (unlike me they don’t have big enough
gobs you see!) and don’t cause the damage in the first instance, but rather
take advantage once a plant has begun to rot. Ants are probably farming aphids
for their bodily fluids if you see them, and likewise are not to blame for a
plant not growing so well, although the aphids they are milking and managing
probably are. So it pays to try and think logically when faced with an issue so
that you can treat accordingly. For instance, for the past few years now I have
really struggled to get globe beetroot seeds to germinate and I couldn’t work
out why as I always found they were one of the easiest crops I ever grew. I was
starting to blame the seed suppliers, or else slugs were nibbling them off
before they had chance to establish properly as I was still getting some come
through albeit there was extremely sparse germination. I was even wondering if
mice were nicking the seed but there was never any soil disturbance so it
couldn’t be that. I ditched Pablo a couple of years back and tried one called
Cardeal with no change in success rates so I had to sit down and try and work
out what I was doing wrong. In the end it turned out to be what I was doing
differently. In the past I had always opened up a seed drill and thoroughly
watered it prior to sowing the seed. For some reason I’ve yet to fathom, I
stopped doing that, sowing the seed into the open drill, covering it over and
then watering. I’ve gone back to that method this season and hey presto I’ve
started to get much better germination rates. It’s often recommended in
gardening books that you soak beetroot seed overnight before sowing to
encourage it to break dormancy, and I think my pre-watered rows may have been
doing a similar task.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">You need to have a lot of globe beetroot to be able to pull
a matching set of 3 I always find. They’re total bastards to match up. You can
pull 3 roots up with the same diameter but then find they are all totally
different when viewed in side profile. One will be flat bottomed, one will be
‘pointy’ and another may be forked or misshapen. I reckon I would have had to
pull upwards of 20 for each of the 2 sets pictured below, 3</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> on the
open side at Malvern in 2015 and 1</span><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> on the open side at Dundee also
in 2015. Neither set filled me with great delight I have to say, but it just
goes to show you have to be in it to win it.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcVtC0HL6guauZgxpR7Rmucj1l03t6u_KYtdebXfBFErmG25s2ED5qwTs-FOONlRuOiL8L_6RnqIen5NKDzsyIxUNGWXDb1BLL2rO-FdomqVWDaQOtaBVUA2bwFFUgaqNB7ZTdw/s1600/Malvern+2015+047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcVtC0HL6guauZgxpR7Rmucj1l03t6u_KYtdebXfBFErmG25s2ED5qwTs-FOONlRuOiL8L_6RnqIen5NKDzsyIxUNGWXDb1BLL2rO-FdomqVWDaQOtaBVUA2bwFFUgaqNB7ZTdw/s400/Malvern+2015+047.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntuCo6IDJayolNLoHsuaSx5-1hG62CryzkgM-Ij8uNIJCayjuTbOKnOxu3nOz2Uh4iAojWOI5StSS_h9H1Re0HVLa2sYvXcYUm-sfs9FfiocRf8dY5bOQQZ8t3-7TZkxB8hZIUg/s1600/Scotland+Sept+2015+117.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntuCo6IDJayolNLoHsuaSx5-1hG62CryzkgM-Ij8uNIJCayjuTbOKnOxu3nOz2Uh4iAojWOI5StSS_h9H1Re0HVLa2sYvXcYUm-sfs9FfiocRf8dY5bOQQZ8t3-7TZkxB8hZIUg/s400/Scotland+Sept+2015+117.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Some growers go to great lengths to grow them for
exhibition, doing boreholes in much the same way as you would for carrots and
parsnips to ensure a nice long tap root. I find that too much trouble for what
is only a 15 point veg and can usually get some decent roots from various
raised beds with a deep root run, if I can get the damned things to germinate
that is. One thing you must ensure is they never go short of water, that the
shoulders are covered as much as possible to prevent corkiness, and that you
spray them to stop the mangold fly in its tracks. This critter will soon tunnel
through the leaves and slow down growth considerably. Flea beetle is another
pest that can be problematic, but I find Hallmark stops them both and leaves me
with nice clean foliage. Globe beet need about 15 weeks from sowing to showing,
and surprisingly, they need a lot of nitrogen feed for a root crop.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So like I said, try and think logically around a problem and
don’t jump to quick conclusions. And, instead of threatening the cake bakers of
ISIS with extermination perhaps you ought to ask them for ideas on making the
World a happier friendly place instead and see what they can contribute to the
community rather than condemning them to a life in the shadows?</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Simon (Smithyveg)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02435020300382385352noreply@blogger.com3